I signed up for PPP!

I came accross to my favorite personal blog and found out she's earning money for whatever she's posting to her blog. How's that? I had the interest on it so I was oblidged to click on the button! As I said before, I've been blogging here for like 3 years now but I have to erase the entire blog for some sort of issue. Now that I am back, I wanted to make it more interesting and worth it! Cool!

I signed up for PayPerPost and waited my blog to age until one month. PayPerPost is a blog network that gives benefits to bloggers like me to earn money for what we are doing. While I was waiting, I enjoy blogging every single day about any detail of my life. I do this because for me its more comfortable bursting out feelings thru blog.

So, to my readers, friends and who ever might accross this page, I am encouraging you to sign up and be one of us. ;) There's no hassle with what am I doing here. See, I got to burst out a lot of my thoughts and I am making money out of it. Good thing about this is once I got my paycheck, I'd be able to use it on shopping over the world wide web. How's that again? :)) Good deal right?

What are you waiting for? sign up now! Click here for more info!

Tagaytay on Saturday Night

Blog to start my day right. :)

Haven't done with my stories a while ago while I was at home. I couldn't blog for the rest of the afternoon coz we only use dial-up there. My sister's also using the net, she has to talk to her hubby at Florida. So I opted to sleep after my first entry and signing out to YM conference.

Last Saturday, I left Onie at 6pm. At home, Kelly, Mumma, Dan (That's how Kelly calls his DAD), Manang, baby John Paul & Tottee were there. I was happy seeing them all. I had a chance playing with my fave nephnew. So, I asked him... "What do you want Kelly for pasalubong?" He barely answered.. "Hmmmmm" (immitating Megastar in her icecream commercial) OMG! That's really cute. I couldn't refuse but to buy icecream at the Soldiers' Gate. Yeah! I have to! I just have to! I love the kid that's why!

8pm, Sarah's been texting me. "Anu na? Tuloy pa ba?" Btw, while I was at W, Peejay's been texting and telling me to make bawi daw because I didn't make it the last time he threw a party for his birthday. So I said yes.

Rj and Sarah fetched me at around 930pm. Just right after I had dinner. We went to Tj's crib. Mind you this is my first time drinking GrandMa -- OH yes! Grand Matador Brandy! Ewww at first. But it seemingly so-so on the latter part. I was OK then. Around 11pm, 30 minutes after Patrick came, Rj asked if we wanna have a road trip to Tagaytay. Sarah shouted she wanna have the very famous Bulalo there! And We all agreed! The guys finished the brandy and we headed off to the car. Tj's drunk I guess, he keeps on shouting on people who passes by. hahahha! if you could just imagine! really funny. It was fun, it was cold, the night was so calm, and I seem to miss Onie again the time Rj cuddled Sarah at the back seat. Haay. I miss having a boyfriend. :( They had 2 muchos of red horse and had a lil "sing along" along the street! Astig! I arrived home 330am.

I'm still thankful of having tons of friends.. I had a chance of smiling and laughing even I know Onie's not around.

Cool Friday Night

I had a time off last Friday. It was planned for I was informed my bestfriend from Elementary arrived and will stay here in the Phil for couple of weeks. Last Friday, her boo celebrated his Birthday and I was invited. But before that, I went off to W beside Glorietta to be with my college friends. It wasn't planned. Gen texted me if I wanna come. And hell yeah! I wanna see them so I went there. I brought a bar of chocolate so that I won't be tipsy in any instance. That's my tactic when I'm drinking booze, and I believe with that, because it really works for me. So there, we had 2 batch (i think) of redhorse bucket then. Then we call it a night! I was a lil guilty of going home early. Was it really my fault? Well, guys, I was actually not allowing you to finish the night. You can continue having fun though, and you knew it from the very start that I had plans after that. So, what's bothering me now? hehehe. I don't know what happened with Gen, Gaze, and Jaydee after W. Aileen and Rc were trying to get a cab for me. Unfortunately, there were no cabs passing along the area, so RC decided to drive me home. Thank you so much. I just paid for the gas and the toll in return. :)



At the village, I texted Carla that I am too close na and she should be prepared in any minute. I fetched her and went to Ambet's (my best friend's boo) crib. Woah! He got tons of guests, and yeah! A lot of familiar faces that night. Sigh because right after I saw my bestest friend, everyone was asking me... How was onie, and are we still together. and they were actually asking if I have boylets on the side? hmmm! should i have one? gee.. lemme think about that huh. hmmm Vodka was placed on the table and shoot! I am loving what we're drinking. Carla's doing the shot, Pane, Apple, me, Carla, and the rest of the boys were tossing each of our shots. It was cool. I wasn't tipsy I guess, even I came from W before that. Was cool because I got to talk to most of my friends from childhood.


Carla's been makulet! She was askin me to order yellowcab since we were really really late. The buffet of food was then empty when we arrived. Hahaha! Knowing me, when I'm having fun and a lot of alcohol 's been running inside my system, I don't care whether you'll going to steal my wallet and get a cash out of it! hahahha! Exagg? Carla did! No no no.. I mean, She called yellowcab and ordered an 18". Then it was 4am I think, Carla still insisted of going out and have a coffee. She didn't bring any purse but only herself, so meaning, I'm going to pay for it! Fudge! hahaha! well, I really don't care at all as long I'm with them and I'm having fun. This guy (Carla's neighbor), drove us going to Northgate Starbs. From there, we saw Marla plus Kiko and they joined us.


5:30am we left Alabang, and the couple (Marla and Kiko), I was convincing Carla to drop me off at Onie's place, so I could see him that early. She was like, "Shut up aiza! Look at yourself, you're stoned drunk and I can't allow you going there with that short shorts you have!" I became upset and didn't mind the two. But then again, I know, Carla loves me soo much that she couldn't see me really sad, so she said YES! Good!


I woke up Onie and he seemingly couldn't digest what's going on! :) LOL hahaha. But ofcourse he was happy and I can feel that! I miss him and there, we started to share stories with what happened to us the week passed.


Haaay, everything's going weird with my life. One moment I'm happy, one moment I'm sad.


That's the end of my Friday night.... errr... Saturday morning.. hehehe. Whatever day it was!

clueless

I'm not in the mood to write nor to work. I lack sleep and I couldn't manage to start my tasks right. I don't know if this will gonna be my mood until my shift ends. hopefully not, because tons of tasks are in-line.

Two sticks of cigar might be the reason why I'm feeling like this. After logging in to my YM, I felt the need of smoking right away. I missed chilling out and be relax for a moment. But the result was this... I wanted to go home and take a rest instead.

A friend texted a while ago. She arrived Philippines yesterday I think. Was excited to be with my old friends from childhood. Her boo will have a birthday bash this coming Friday. I'm planning to take a leave to be able to make it. It'll gonna be great for sure. Seeing again old faces, reminiscing everything from the past. The good one ofcourse. I'm wondering if my boss will allow me to take a leave. I don't know.

Everyone's not updating blogs since i don't know except for Gen. Good thing about blogs is that we could get updates about friend's life without seeing each other personally. But I admit, it's still better to see them and make another set of memories together than being updated because of world wide web.


Updates from my so-called friends:

She: She's getting married in 10 months time. She's obviously happy and contented with arman, work, status of living, and family. All in all, she is blessed. I am happy for her. Everyone's envious about what she's into right now, because somehow we all wanted to have a happy life just like hers. Very very proud of having a friend like her. :)

Gaze: For what I know, Gaze's been busy with www.femalenetwork.com, she just revamped the entire site. She's very very web savvy. She's trying to look for a new job currently and I hope she could find a better job than what she has at summit. She's also single and hoping to have a boyfriend as soon as possible. I tell you gaze, you have to work on it, be inspired of working out at the gym, it'll help. Seriously though, try it without hesitations of thinking about your pending work. As for now, you have to think again about your ownself. Be reminded that, yeah! We are working for a living, but we have to balance things for us to be complete. (Am I talking to myself here? hehe)

Aileen: Somehow, I don't understand her whenever she writes on her own journal. Atleast I know, there is something deep she's trying to imply, but I can't figure it out right away. This girl is very deep, and I couldn't pick up immediately what's on her mind. Not just like, Gen or Gaze, very very transparent people, who I could pin point what's on their mind and heart without saying anything. Aileen could be very very honest to everyone with regards to her feelings, I love her for being like that. Currently, she's with her boo rc boi, they're happy together, and yeah! again, they're one of those couple i hate. LOL :))remember? I hate happy couples? LOL. in work related part, she's contented of her status. Being a senior QA.. say what? senior QA! YES! and I'm proud of her! :) Great job Aileen! Being in your company is a good opportunity. As you say, you've been given a chance to travel HK for training and all that. Woah! What a great experience! Good for you! She's up to selling stuffs. Recently, I browsed on her shopping site at multiply account. Shoot I just forgot to get the link of the site. (Poor me, I don't have multiply here.) So, there yah go, that's the update for Aileen.

Mich C.: Just a while ago, I came across to her blogspot account. I don't know if she's keeping this site and dosen't want to disclose it to everybody. I'll respect her privacy and might as well not give the link of her site. Honestly, I don't know anything about her anymore. :( that's the sad part. She's at Bulacan right now and very attached with her boo at the same time. The last time we had a chance to see each other was... errr, fudge mich! when was that? *sigh* I've been bloody missing this girl. It was different when she's not around. I missed her rants, her texts, her stories bout mandu, her stories bout tut tut. hahahha! oh well, mich I just miss you. If ever you'll come across to this post, give me a shout sweetie.. coz I bloody miss you sooo much. mwah!

Irene: My ever loyal friend is located at Bahrain, and this lass got tons of job. Yeah! she's workaholic or should I say, she's doing it to be able to surpass loneliness. I'm actually not sure about it. Was like guessing coz, yes! we seldomly talk and I'm not happy about that. Currently, she's madly inlove with someone else. And as for her, they have this what we call "forbidden love affair". I am glad, we are still attached in a way. Well, I'll chose this kind of situation than being with her at Philippines without any communication at all.

Karleen: She's currentlt looking for a lady bedspace partner for this apartment located at Makati. She's about to move out for some sort of ish. Btw, we are in the same time slot. Currently working in a US base clock. haha! What else? I don't know anything about her right now other than that... Sigh for that. Because way back before, Karleen and I were like sisters in heart. Nevertheless, having been in this kind of situation wont ruin the relationship we built. Even we don't see each other, even we don't talk too much, I know, in our mind and in our heart, we'll always be ready to be available once we need someone to turn to in times of crisis--emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, or even finacially. Yes! that's Karleen.

Staynee: Stayn's been here at Phililippines for quite some time started late last last week. I'm not actually sure of the exact date, but I know, she had a short vacation here. She's been in Singapore for years now. She's an IT there, working for the Singaporeans. Whatever her reasons for not allowing us to see her during her stay was I know can be treated as reasonable. For once, I know her stay was really limited. Second, it's hard to contact everyone when all she knew was we are working on different time slots. I understand her. I contacted her thru YM - SMS. But we had no chance of getting into details. But I knew she was here, I saw some pics from a common friend and they had a lil party for her stay.

Mich R.: Karleen and I call her Minggay before. She's currently connected with accenture and working there as a programmer. She's busy being a wife to Mark and a mum to Lila as well. I have no idea of what her current situation other than what I've mentioned above. What I know is that, she's happy with work and contented being with her fam. I've read about her new blog. Minggay, yeah! I was able to access your new blog. Thanks to my sitemeter, I am able to see people who came accross my blogsite. If you are trying to keep that link. Sure thing, I won't disclose anything about it. Miss you so much. :) Mwah!

Geni: Save the best for last to my ever loyal bitch! LOL. If not that I am busy with work or something, what I do is to call or text Gen. Why? I don't know. She's the first person I turn to whenever I need someone to talk to. Whether I'd like to talk about my rants or any achievement in life or even those crazy things I am doing recently. Once my lips started to talk about rants over the phone, she'll start listening until I say.. "O sya wala kang kwenta kausap! Bye! Miss you!" Then I'll drop the phone. Yes! That's the scenario of our talks. hahaha! I hope Gen won't get tired of my crazy attitude. Because I've been trying to understand her moodswings as well! LOL no no no. Gen is a good friend indeed! Elaborating on things here won't do anything about our relationship right now. But honestly, I care about her a lot. I love Gen and I will always be right beside her through thick and thin. I may not say this as often as I want to, but I really value the friendship we are having right now.

(I don't want you guys to question about our own relationship. I mean, we all have different memories together.)

The thing about her is that, I saw a special thing about her. Her kindness, her good heart, her being human itself. Mabait na tao. Wala akong masabi in short. We could be different in a lot of things, but the thing is... We JIVE! that's it!

I am actually sad about her current stat, I know she's not happy in many ways. I am sad too, I can't always be there beside her literally because my work doesn't allow me. I am partly guilty -- But I know she would understand. If not? I don't care! LOL Seriously, Gen's been a friend just recently, year 2007 i think, but we had a lot of memories since then. As for now, I hope and pray for her real happiness. I'd be the first person to throw a party once she met her prince charming.

Whenever I read her blog, I am having two feelings. One is am happy, because I am getting updated with her life. Two, is am sad, because I got to know that she's not ok with her life now. I hope we could have another out of town trip again. Galera?

With that, we could again share each other stories and be contented and happy once and for all. I miss you guys now! I miss you MORE!

Weekend Update

I had a not so good Saturday..

But lemme first say this, congratulations to my sister! She just gave birth to her first baby boy.. John Paul. Here's the cute pic.

See below my cute nephews and niece, how grateful I am having them. Still wondering when would I have my own kid? hehehe.



Life's been the same. I had no new stories to share. Same old rants. Same old shits. Very very dull life. :( sigh This isn't healthy anymore.

Hubby and I had a lil' arguement. This is about me, him, and the rest of the people around us. I don't know if I should disclose everything here in my blog. I wanted to burst out. I wanted to say everything, I wanted to scream and tell the whole world that I am GODAMN mad of what have had happened. It is obviously I am doing all the possible things in this earth to make everything cool about this not-so-normal relationship, but what else could they want me to do? Am I saying it right? Errr.. It's getting into my nerves. Seriously!

We had a nice talk though. He had his realizations and I had mine. Good thing, I left before the the night came. I was really exhausted and finally I arrived home. I got to manage playing with our new angel and chatting with my sisters. I was envious of them holding their cute lil angels and trying to give milk from their own breasts. Sigh. I can feel a lot of pressure this time! I wanna have my own! I wanna build my own family! I wanna be happy just like them! Oh my! Why all of a sudden I keep on insisting of getting married, of having my own child, of moving out of this house and kinda like living on my own with my wishful-thinking husband to be. Pressured? Me? C'mon! YAH! I AM!

Currently and with all honesty, I am really really lonely. Been alone for 1 year and a half now i guess, I always had this urge of thinking why would I settle to be like this, when I could always look for a new one? or be available instead? It's my own choice, I have all the means anyway, who would force me not to do this? No one right? hmmmm.

BUT (yeah I have a big but here)

I am still counting on having hope that someday, the one I wanted to be my other half for the rest of my life will definitely be available 24/7 of his life and by then on, we'll have a PEACEFUL, meaningful, simple or glamorous life as what we wanted it to be.

I am still holding on... this is really me.. I am dumb.. yeah seriously...

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I want/I like

Everyone's not in a good mood. Even boss, even the person beside me, even shellie, even him i guess (haven't heard anything from him since... i can only see him online, but i don't want to bug him first.) even K, she's absent. I don't know if she's still coming. I talked to her thru celly and she's at the party. I didn't manage to ask who's party is it anyway. Why everyone's in bad mood today? As for me, I am very much contented with my stats. I hit 85/day as of 4/13 and that is a great output for free search! It means, I'm bloody functioning well here! So now, I'm about to stick to what's my plans. I already got boss' trust and I am confident but still hoping that evrything will turn out right.

On the other hand, though I can say, work here is very very stable, I still got to think of leaving this company. Why? because everyone's thinking about it! haha! Yeah! I don't wanna end up alone without my favorite colleagues here. K forwarded an email she got from JobsDb. Here's the link:

SEO Specialist/Internet Marketing
If you'll gonna see what's in there, it is a work from home job. I'm kinda like of interested with the thought of working from home, [I can take this as a part time job, additional income ;)] but how do I pursue this if I am living in Pasig without my desktop with me. Now am thinking of buying my own laptop. How cool is that? But hey, I'm still paying a lot of my obligations, I couldn't afford to buy anything.. I'm still in a cost cutting phase. ;) But I browsed on some laptops over the net, and I wanna buy it for myself :(

ACER 4310 LAPTOP FOR SALE
Regular Price: P 32,000.00
Now Only: P 25,000.00
Save: P 7,000.00

SPECIFICATIONS:
ACER 4310 (slightly used, two months pa lang)
Intel Celeron 1.70Ghz
80Gig Harddisk
1Gig Memory
DVD writer
Wi-fi ready
5 in 1 memory card reader
bulit-in camera
COMPLETE PACKAGES and ACCESSORIES
w/ original receipt for factory warranty

I Made This

This is live now and Im proud of it!

http://corporate-gifts.branders.com
http://corporate-gifts.branders.com/promotional-mugs.html
http://corporate-gifts.branders.com/custom-bags.html
http://corporate-gifts.branders.com/promotional-pens.html
http://corporate-gifts.branders.com/company-shirts.html

Am a real designer now! Thank good God!

:)

Update: Wasn't able to talk to him in my entire shift. :( that's ok. I don't want to be his close friend anyway. :)

He Made Me Smile

I've been seated here for 4 hours now since I arrived, I am forcing myself to work really hard for the next projects I am handling, but I don't have the drive for work. Let me put it this way..

After signing in, I checked on my friendslist in YM, he's still offline. I checked his seat in his department, he's not in there yet. I don't have his celly number to ask what's up with him, so I don't have any means of knowing why is he still not around. Oh yea? I've been eyeing this man... Hell no?!

Since I wasn't functioning well (like my computer at times hehe), I wished to take a look into what's in the pantry. In there, some employees were busy eating, the IT dept were there, some of the Eng, and some from sales. I decided to grab a food, though I don't have company with me, I still opted to eat there instead of bringing my plate here in my desk. After eating, I get another glass of iced tea and went back to my place. Along my way, I glanced at his seat and found him there :) I didn't look at him totally, I just saw what color he's wearing right now, and its a yellow green poloshirt. It made me smile :) really and I don't know why.

I wanted to drop a message at YM. Just "hi sweetie!" would be fine. But errrr. better not to. :) I'll just take a peek of him everytime I need something from their department.

Fuck, just now he just signed out from YM. Sigh.. wonder why?

There's something in me that I wanted him to know: I've been thinking of him last weekend. And just that thought made me smile. I wish we could have a nice talk again. I wish too, haaay, i couldn't wish for that i guess..

He's back online. :)

I was in the Beach

Gaze and I were about to go to the shore. We were barefooted. We were enjoying the sand and the heat of the sun. I was a lil' bit excited that time, it was my first outing for summer 08' and even I wasn't that prepared for the event, I had a chance to bring every lil' thing I needed for the trip.
There, I posed haha! I admit, it was just a drama, I certainly know I was being photographed by Gen at that time. The sun was great, I don't have the means of putting any sunblock at all (or should I say, I didn't bring any LOL). I careless, I don't give a sh*t whether I turned to be an "ITA" after that trip. I was having fun, so hell I care! hahaha!


There, again, me and Gaze savoring every detail of the beach, from the sand, to the shore, we will definitely miss this place from Bataan. The water was cool. Just perfect for swimming, it was really really clear, no water pollution, that's the most thing I liked about it. And I've been inlove with that beach.

I wasn't aware when that photo was taken. The sun was up, the cool breeze of the sea was tamed. Perfect setting for people who are very much inlove. Ahhh! I miss being inlove. I miss being with special someone in the beach alone. That photo made me upset now. That can define my situation right, ALONE.


Cool pics with Geni and Gaze. ~_~

Hahahaha! I insisted to take a pic, me on my two-piece. Isn't it gorgeous? AHEM!

We just love being in there...


See how cool it was? We were as if at Boracay because of the white sand.. Gee! I love it! Are we gonna do this again guys? I wanna chill, i want to relax, I just want to have peace of mind, I just want to get over of polluted Manila! I want to see a beach again! C'mon! Let's rule Galera! :D

surprised

I was at Cavite with my mom at that time. Km texted me. She then send something at my house. Wondering what was it, I hurriedly called totee to ask. On our way home, I wasn't comfortable with my seat. The aircon's not functioning well and I was about to scream because of the person seated next to me. Arg! hahaha. funny thing though, he keeps on singing and murmuring every single lyrics of all songs from the radio. That makes me sick. (or I just envy him, because I also wanted to sing.. LOL) So, we arrived Festival mall. I treated mom at Tokyo Tokyo for dinner. Then we headed up to home. I was surprised with the present I received from hubby. awwwww. It was nice. What more he's really here to celebrate our 8th yr anniversary together? Sigh... wondering, what could be the real scenario then.

I was watching this show from Velvet channel, "The Bachelor", and one second i see myself teary eyed because of the situation. The guy and the girl had a very very intimate dinner date. The palce was full of white balloons, even the walk way itself, full of baloons, then the guy gave out his present, a D&G diamond earings. Shoot! how sweet was that?

I came to realize how seldom Onie and I had a romantic dinner in the past. I actually couldn't remember any instance we had one. Oh! that would be our first ever date when we were still a kid. Hahahaha! we had a lunch date at Racks and it was ok. nothing special happened. Wala lang I just want to experience a romantic dinner, a date, or something to cherish in the future.

Oh well, for now, this is one of the sweetest thing he did for me. :) I'll see you soon hubby. I miss you badly.

Cold Summer Nights - OO nga!

It’s been cold summer nights since we drifted apart
Cold summer nights since you walked out that door
Cold summer nights… oh, here on my own
Coz I miss you baby, I need you here


Shet! Sumasakto nanaman!


You know, just everyday, I have this feeling of being alone. Alone shopping, alone going to the spa, alone going to the mall, alone eating, alone savoring my triumphs, and alone dealing with my sorrows. I'm too depressed! I'm kinda like memorizing the feeling of being alone. Am I fortunate of being one? Or do the situation itself keep on shouting at my face that I'll be dealing with this for the rest of my life. Sounds pathetic? I know!

I can always look for somebody else to replace him. That could be the usual thing to do for those normal peeps who are feeling this kind of burden, but I've been sticking to this all through out because it's my own choice. I couldn't see myself making the same mistakes again, for I know, a crime wouldn't be dismissed by filling in another crime. I admit I already had the urge of eyeing some, i did it once, twice or even thrice, but I ended up telling myself not to pursue things because it would only make my life more miserable.

Sometimes, I feel I'm running out of time. This is because and I'm very very thankful, I still got my job to feel in some activity with my lonesome life. But, after taking a lot of risk, and ended up successful with projects and work, came myself hanging with questions. I still got the means of thinking why am I doing this to myself? Why am I doing all the work and earning self respect from other people? What are my goals in life now? What are my real priorities if I'll be dealing with my everyday life alone and miserable?

oh life....

The One

My other half, my best friend, my shock absorber, my star, my only one, my beloved, my hubby, used to become my hunny and baby, my bee, my soulmate, my ever loyal boyfriend, my man, my love, my reason of living, my life, the one who i wanted to live my life with for the next 100 years of my life.. my eternity...

Happy 8th year anniversary. You mean so much to me that no one knows how exactly what I feel for you. I love you hubby. You rule my world!

Random Thoughts

I do not have anything in mind right this moment, but I had this urge of letting something to blurt out, something that i wanna write about even without thinking of anything to write. i don't have biggie problems, nor having issues from my past but there's this... ahhh i don't know... just come with me and hear me blow... :(

There's no particular thing that makes me upset right now, but i'm kind of you know, sad and not feeling okay. i really don't know why. Prolly, this could be the emptiness once again. I feel so alone. Well, yea! Literally, I'm alone in this area that's why I had the guts of blogging again. I don't have anyone to talk to, to take a break, or even to have a stick of yosi down stairs. There's no one in here, that is prolly the reason why I'm upset.

I woke up really early a while ago. Earlier than the usual waking hours i used to do before. Somewhat, I like the feeling, since I didn't had a hard time going to the office without my cousins accompanying me to get a ride. Just so you know, the vicinity where I live right now is not so nice that someone should come along with me going to the office or at least up until I rode a jeepney/cab/fx. After logging in YM, I went to the pantry and let coke subside my thirsty throat. (Could it be the reason of me being so weird now? because instead of coffee, i chose to drink a glass of coke? hmmm..) So I proceeded to my unfinished tasks yesterday. Late last week, I loved the feeling of being busy because of work. My drive for work was really strong then. Just after this weekend, all turned out the other way around. I somehow, do not know where to start. I got tons of tasks to do, but nothing would be accomplished prolly today because I do not have drive for work. Sad, because part of me wanted to finish all these before my boss arrive from abroad trip...

Tasks accomplished before blogging:
1. Read/Answered all important emails
2. Went over shop4teeshirts again. Revised 4 pages.
3. Submitted articles to article submission.

Wow! Great job! I thought I wasn't working at all.

*my phone alarmed!*

Now, I have the means of blogging! WTF! It's our 8th anniversary!

Time Check: 11:44pm 16 mins after, the date will be April 10, 2008... Now, I understand why I am upset, seriously, I while ago, I do not have any idea why I have this kind of feeling. Kaya naman pala. :(

I miss you hubby.. happy 8th year anniversary. Whatever you're doing right now. I want you to know, how much I miss you. See you soon. :(

So, all in all, hubby and I were together for 2,920 days now. Let's continue the count down...

Dream House

Look at that, it's a typical house I got from Google Images, I was inlove by it the moment I saw it. A two-storey house, with veranda on the 2nd floor, without gate, and full of green plants around it. I have this thought of having that kind of home when I grew up, when I have my family on my own, I wanted them to live to a place just like this. I am dreaming of having a loving husband with 2 cute kids in the future. I want them to be at ease to where they would live. I am struggling now, working really hard for me to be able to start having my own investments. Now, I have this house from a humble place. I started to transact things last year and finally we are settling down to business. It's a low-cost housing. A small place to live in. I have great plans on that house and I believe it'll come true in God's time. I am thankful to my mom, without her, I would not pursue on things just like these. She helped me a lot in times of legal documents and legal transactions that I myself do not understand at all. I have to seek for comments and ideas from her. So, now, I have this two-storey home--a duplex one. I am really excited seeing it, perfectly made and seeing a good family living in there. I am planning of taking things slow. I am actually planning of not occupying the space but to make it available for other people. Whoever could rent it so that I could earn from it. Great idea right? I'll keep everyone posted to when it could be available for occupancy. I know it would take time, because we have to fix things first. We have to put on screens and grills for the windows and screen for the doors, so that it would be safe for the tenants to live in there.

On my part, I actually wanted to have space on my own near my work, living with relatives is OKAY but I'm not contented with it. On the other hand, whenever I'm counting on things I need to settle for bills and things I need to pay, I turn to "saka na!" thought. Things will happen in due time also with God's permission. Thank God for supporting me achieving one of my dreams!

At least we had fun

I thought it'll gonna be a night full of celebrities from "Eat Bulaga" that night. I was actually expecting, EB babes, sexbomb dancers, allan k., wallie, etc will be there. Thinking that it is an anniversary celebration, the owner must be present in the event. Unfortunately, there were few celebrity guests arrive. Francis M., Julia Clarete, Sugar, and Ate Gay made it! I had the best laugh that night. I thought it'll gonna be the same jokes and presentation, good thing all were different. At first, I was hesitant to go to Ortigas. I was not in the mood to go out. I wanted to stay home and be at peace for one whole night. Since I was the one who ask them to join me prior that date, I was oblidge to come. But thank goodness I decided to go there. Again, I had the best laugh with my friends. You can take wa lil peek of what happened from Geni's Multiply Site. Complete photos were posted there.

A night to laugh

Hey hey! Later tonight, Gen, Aileen, Gaze, and I will surely have a good laugh at Zirkoh Greenhils! I got 2 complementary tickets! and one ticket can accpet two people. Good deal! YEy! See you guys! Let's forget all about the shits of our lives! heheheh. Come with me and let's do all the laughing there! LOL :))

Mindoro Sling

Sarah's inviting me to join them at Galera! I was excited bout it! But I kinda had a feeling of not coming with them. It'll gonna be fun for sure! But the thing is, everyone is having their boos on their side. It'll going to be rj-sarah, tj-malou, and carmi-jhap plus ME. WTF! could you imagine that? hahahhaha! Me, solo flight! I could imagine me walking by myself, eating by myself, swimming by myself! Oh shoot! I pity myself. :(( double the sadness. I don't know if I'll still join them on the 18th. But wtf! I'd love to smell the cool breeze of Galera again, I wanna become tan, I wanna ride the banana boat, i wanna be drunk stoned at galera! I wanna party til dawn at the shore, i wanna meet a lot of people. I wanna go to Galera! But could I just ignore the thought of seeing them as a happy couple? Then me on my own? F*ck up! I hate happy couples! ahahahhaha! talking bout bitterness!

Should I still join them?

No Show

My shift yesterday was so-so. I got to finish some tasks but unfortunately not all. Time's being inconsistent. Late last last week up until Wednesday, it was been very very hectic and fast. Came Thursday, my life's been change and so was my routine, and I was wondering why again. All of a sudden, the real me came back. full of angst, full of questions to ask, no drive for work, lazy, and inconsistent. And I was not happy about that. I want the new me to drive my life consistently. Knowing great outcomes came my way since I started to feel positive. I'd like to continue what I was since I started going to work again.

Negative vibes started to touch my life once again when I received this text from someone, about him. It obviously made my day sucks. I know somehow, I kinda left this issue i have to face behind lately, for me to be able to continue my life without fear, and angst. I wanted to stay calm and ignore the feeling. I wanted to stay positive because I am actually loving my life now. I do not say, I totally forget all about him. For everybody knows my life's going back to same old thing during weekends. So, it doesn't actually count that I totally erased him into my life. In fact, in between my sleepless days, (yes days!) there are times, his face, our memories and past still bugging me and letting me feel, he still exist. I do not feel any shit about that. In fact, it made me smile somehow, coz i guess he's been thinking about me, during nights and days, 24/7 of his life. I was not being conceited here. I really felt that. Because he tells me that every weekends. And by chance I actually feel that feeling without seeing him everyday!

If I'll gonna be totally honest here, I would say. I miss him dearly. I miss everything, and wanting to be beside him once again, made me realize how much I do love this man.

But there's a question been in my mind lately. Again, "how long this would take?" It's been year and a half. Who would ever choose to be in this kind of situation? I admit, most of the time, I feel empty, I feel alone, I feel really sad, and somehow I feel no one is chasing me behind this battle. I was alone facing this fear. No one really knows what exactly I feel about this.

*Sigh

I left the office yesterday at 9:30 am. Travelling from Ortigas to Alabang took 40 mins of my time. On my way home, I was actually thinking if I'll go see him and be with him up until night, (that's actually my routine during saturdays) even my body was dog tired. Considering I rode a bus going to Alabang only, that already answered where am I dealing the rest of the day---at my crib. I chose of staying home instead, and be with my fam since I miss everyone. At the village, when the tricycle's already approaching our humble home, I see my sisters passing by, I shouted at them with a big smile... then they say, "hop on! you come with us." Since yea! I miss the two, I agreed on joining them. My preggy sister will go to the hospital and have her check up, and this hospital is near to his place. Get it? What a sign! Arg! Should I actually visit him? After hospital, we decided to visit my nephnew near the area. Thank God I was able to see this kid! he's actually one of my happiness and strength. That time I still have this go-and-visit-him thought. While we were watching the telly, I fell asleep. I woke up at 7:30pm. We have to go home. We ate dinner first. So, while on our way to the main road, was still thinking if I'll drop by to him just to say hi and sorry of not coming. But decided not to. On his part, he didn't gave me a text or any note about how have he been doing lately. So what's our score now? Are we on fight? Do we have to settle for something? Do we have to patch things up? He didn't know I was having these thoughts anyway, why should he feel mad if ever? HAHA! i'm bloody paranoid!

This morning, I woke up at around 5am. Too early, for I had a loooooong sleeping hours, like all in all i had 13.5 hours of sleep. gee! haha!

I was just waiting for the right time, i'll take a bath, and i'll go visit him. Haha! Oh well, my story continues here...

How 'bout you?

33 words

Speed test

She Says...

Of all the people I could ever imagine me ranting my same old shits with.. I didn't realize that would be her--KAY. My oh-so-dear friend from the BRONX. LOL :)) (chika lang!) I've known her for like almost 3 yrs now i guess, and she's been my yosi buddy and kachikahan all the time when it comes to yeah boys, work, love life, fam, everything we could ever think of. She has this funny side and mind you she got this wits and charm. I just love how she talks and how she carries herself. She's cool, she's HOTTIE and did I mention she's a model? Hell yeah!

Anyways, I started my day with a frown a while ago for I had a bad sleep. I couldn't find way to sleep yet I was dead tired and feeling exhausted. Though I had the best laugh before going home with my colleagues, all went to down and my mood turned to what I call reality! *Sigh

Since the day I went back here, I seemingly give myself a break with all the negative vibes coming my way. I decided to set aside all the shits I've been going through and just think of my career, fam and friends. I wanted to stay happy for once. Being alone is not so cool as what I've expected knowing I came from serious realtionship. Letting go was never been easy for me since then. The feeling of having TONS OF FRIENDS aound you sometimes makes me think couldn't help me moving on.. Don't get me wrong... coz whenever I am with you guys, I feel blessed and contented, on the other hand, the feeling fades out at the end of the day when all I have is myself and the shit from my past. Yeah! That could be hard if I'll stick into my mind everything everyday! But c'mon people! How could you manage this situation? I've been dealing with this a year and a half i guess and the question hangin in my mind now is "How long this would take?"

Can someone shoot me NOW? I wanna end up everything with just a snap of my fingers, I wanna come out of this situation seeing myself not hurting at all. that's being crazy i know, but that's the only thing i am wishing for.

Move on little by little, he has to figure out his own shit first, then if by chance in the future you bump each other's face again, from there you'll know what will be next. Love will find it's way... -- Kay says.

Awwww

F*ckness :( (double the ouch! sigh)

Pressured

Ok. It's 1:07 am now, and I arrived here at 11:08 pm... So that means I had two hours of my time sitting here and dealing with tons of tasks. After logging in to YM, a good friend pop me saying.. "Yosi muna bago ang lahat!" I'm like.. "Wow kakarating ko lang. Try mong chumill!" LOL :))

I was feeling devastated yesterday, I couldn't find time to chill out and make some noise to make the day even lighter. Shellie caught me working my ass here in my seat when all she wanted is someone to talk to regarding her rants about some sort of ish. I got to talk to her before she blurt out in the floor. So there, I had a stick of yosi yesterday.. YEAH! just one! good thing!

Before I ended my day yesterday, I sent an email to boss showing my draft and plans about this new project. Then, just today, received a reply from him that I have to finish all pages until the end of the week. Holy molly! I don't know if I can do that, but since my boss is pretty nice and understanding, I'll do my very best to accomplish everything up until Friday. The thing is, there are some other tasks which needed hands-on and emergency revisions, that I say, needs a lot more time.. So how will manage these things?

Funny thing though, I had a chance reading my horoscope for today. It says:

career
April 1, 2008
You may not like the poking and prodding that comes from other people, but this is their way to get you moving in a positive direction. Trying to resist this action will only make things worse. You might as well get moving - the sooner the better.

Here's my tarot for the day:
You’re not in a mood today to accept the kind of love that’s all embracing and doesn’t leave you room to breathe, dear aiza. So if your partner shows any signs of possessiveness, you’re in danger of over-reacting and creating an issue. The combination of The Hanged Man and the Sun points to a certain degree of irritation in relation to any constraints on the emotional level, especially within a committed relationship. You’re prepared to go to any lengths in order to preserve your liberty. At work, you have the vague feeling that you're not being given the freedom you need to do your job properly. The Hanged Man is placing you in an uncomfortable situation, confronting you with delays and obstacles that you can do nothing about. It's all bound to make you feel very frustrated and discouraged! Take a deep breath and keep your cool.

Once again, I'm not a believer of this crap. Whether or not this is true, I find it funny coz it always, yeah! always gives me exact things I really do encounter in real life!

Better start working on things... the clock's been ticking and I should really pay off what boss just gave me and render at least my very best on this next project I am into right now. :)

Ciao!