How did I celbrate my Silver Birthday?

Well, it was nothing special until Kay called and asked for a lil shot. We met at Starbs metrowalk and headed off to Phi Bar. We had a lil few drinks of Vodka Cruiser, had a great laugh with my bestest ex-colleague and went back to the office. Was surprised with what I saw in my station. I liked it and I think it was soo sweet of Ichy and Pax to do some shits like that. The cake was indeed the BEST! and yea, the flowers were gorgeous like me. LOL I received a lot of text messages and tons of phone calls. I appreciate some peeps who made effort, I'd like to say special thanks to Michelle, Stayn, and She who didn't forget ofcourse my day even they are living miles miles away from the Philippines. So yeah. I had a great day, not to metntion I was chillin around the office as if there's no tasks in line. LOL. I'm sorry, I just want to relax. hehe. So here's the pics from my real birthday:

















Btw, for my college friends! tom, SHOT dito sa bahay. wag nyo kalimutan! :D See ya!

Christmas chuvaness

Our maid's been bugging me bout decorating the house for the holidays. Every week, she's telling me when will we put up the christmas tree and some other christmas decorations. I stayed stiff and undecided. WTH! I really dont wanna see any Christmas stuffs in our place. I know I'm being too selfish here, it's just that I'm having a hard time coping up with the scenario everytime I see Christmas stuffs in the mall or hear Christmas songs elsewhere. It's pissing me off whenever I hear "sana ngayong pasko" in the bus, or seeing a lot of Christmas tree in Ace hardware from SM Muntinlupa, the cool decorations inside ATC mall, and the nice Christmas packaging of Goldilocks. All these stuffs, I tend to be so much bitter and very affected. Inside me, I'm bursting into tears and really hoping I could atleast be happy during this season.

Earlier, I visited my elementary bestfriend's page from FS, she designed her site full of christmas chuvaness plus chrsitmas imeem. How's that? Crap. I wanna be in the mood too for Christmas, but what can I do? I can't find the means of being one.


It'll be the first week of December next week, meaning I should start of buying gifts for my inaanaks. I lost my list. But what I remember is, I got almost 15 godchildren at the moment. OMG! that was plenty huh.

1. Jed Francis (ate Lanie's son)
2. Raf Raf (ate lala's son)
3. Danny (Tony's daughter)
4. Ruth (Kuya Fox's daughther)
5. Lila (Mich's daughter)
6. Kelly
7. John Paul
8. Zyla (Ate yam's daughter)
9. Leonne (Lhen's son)
10. Tata's (daughter/son)
11. Kian Carl
12. Carla Mae (Aunt Amy's daughter)
13. Pepe (Kuya Jay's son)

So, there are my inaanaks. PM me kids ok? hahaha! Tell me what you want for Christmas! hehe

PS. I am trying to make a video for onie and I came up with ...

How Boring Life is..

I didn't go to work last Friday shift. No reason. I'm not in the mood to work. Just that. Hmm.. Lemme share you what I really wanna pursue if I had given a chance to choose.

1. I wanna work in a magazine industry. I don't know how you call that position. But I'd like to handle the part of doing all the layout and design of a magazine.

2. I wanna be a personal shopper. haha! can you imagine that? saya! shopping lang ng shopping. shit di ko naman damit! LOL

3. I wanna be a plain housewife! LOL. bakit hinde? e hilig ko nga lang magdecorate ng rooms. so tingin ko, i will survive. Basta entrega lang saken lahat ng sweldo ni mister, kasama pang luho ko (foot spa, body massage, manicure pedicure (all every two weeks haha), hotoil every month and shopping spree every weekend)Di naman ako super maluho no? haha

4. I wanna be a chef! this is for real. I'm frustrated about cooking meals, I really wanna learn. The best meal I could is FRIED PORKCHOP! how pathetic I am! LOL

5. I wanna be an interior designer.

6. I wanna be a paid blogger. Hahaha!

7. I wanna be a botique / spa / salon / resort / bar owner (ambisyosa? lol)

I could be that ambisyosa but seriuosly, I wanna accomplish at least two from the list above. I am turning 25 on Wednesday. I think, it's not too late for me to start working on my dreams.

3rd in a row

yea. hehehe. This is my third post. What can I do? I miss blogging just how I miss my old fave series. As I finished the available episodes of The Hills, I browsed on the Desperate Hosewives link. Now, I'm done with 2 episodes and I'm kinda happy seeing them again. Crazy you think? haha! I love that series. I mean, SUPER! I see a lil bit of myself from everyone in there. A lil bit of Susan when she's being clumsy and cheesy with whoever she's living with, God, I couldn't believe she had 2 husbands and now she playing fire with this hot painter named Jackson. Sometimes, am like Bree Hodge when it comes to home decorating stuffs, believe me, I love decorating houses. Am a bit OC at times. Gabby was once a fashion icon and so am I. LOL (KAPAL?) I love dressing up just like her, what's wrong with that? hehe. But, am kinda upset why she changed here in Season 5. She's now a fat mom, why can't she be the other ladies there? They tend to not forget about their figure and stuff. You know what I mean? I'm a lil bit like Eddie Britt when it comes to bed. hahahahha! Ok. let's scrap that. I was just kiddin. I dont know how would I compare myself with eddie britt. LOL ok. I'm naughty just like her. Fair enough? LOL Lastly, I really see myself with Lynette Scavo. She's tough, she's lovely, she's a good mom, a good wife, and she prioritize family above all things. That's what I am. She was once distracted by other man, but later on, realized what she did was wrong and eventually went home to her husband and patch things up and you know, for her family first before herself.

I enjoyed watching desperate, if it's possible to bum in front of the computer for life I'll do it. But I need to get some rest and prepare for work tonight. DARN...

I could probably be Lynette in my future family. Am really excited bout it. Yes, I know, in God's perfect time. SURE. :)

A morning to mourn..

I just finished episodes 7-13 of Season 4 of "The Hills". Wow! I've been online since 8:00am today. Blogging and surfing the net. Nothing to do, i just don't want him to occupy my thoughts. It's not working anyway. :( The reason why I had to wake up was that I got a text message from him. It was a lovely text indeed. It made my morning very very lonely.

hi, im sorry but i cant forget this day and i cant stop myself doing this. im badly missing you babe, i love you still. Happy bday. thanks for everything. - onie

Aww. How in the world I could forget this day? it's nov 10 and we are suppose to celebrate our 103rd monthsary of togetherness. Well, if you could call it that. Hah! yea? how do we call it anyway? I dont know.

Btw, I replied and here it goes...

you know how much you mean to me. I want you to work on your case foirst, once you're free, look for me. By then, let's start a new chapter of our lives. It is hard living without you. I know it's gonna be very very lonely. But i have to do this. Take care of yourself babe. I'll wait for you. Trust me on that. - aiza

It's just sad. really. Ang dami pa namang events na magaganap sa mga susunod na araw. There goes my Birthday on the 26th of this month. Then, I'll gonna be having a long weekend after that because it's Thanksgiving in the states. Then, there's Christmas and New Year. A lot of ocassions that I will ofcourse celebrate alone. The lonesome is killing me.

I was thinking though.. Ilang birthday at pasko pa ang lilipas na wala sya? ilang problema pang personal ang lulutasin ko na magisa? Ilang gabi pang papasok ako na walang kasama? ilang gabi pang tatamarin akong pumasok na wala sya? Sa mga oras na gusto kong uminom at magpakachill sana, wala akong taong mayaya man lang na sabayan ako sa pagdurusa. I'm all down, miserable and lost. He mentioned something yesterday which really touched my heart, nasaktan ako para sa kanya. Alam ko ang paghihirap nya dun, walang may ibang alam kundi ako.

sabi nya..

Gusto ko nalang gumising kung dapat ng gumising. kapag hearing ko na dun ko nalang gusto gumising. pero kahit anong gawin ko hindi naman ako makatulog. ilang araw nakong gising. pagod nako.

Wala akong nagawa kundi yakapin sya. Iparamdam nalang sana na andito ako para sa kanya. Yet, iba narin ang decision ko. Ang lumayo, hanapin ang sarili ko. Alam kong imposible to. Pero sana wala naman kumontra na kaya ko. Di ko kelangan ng komento ng mga taong alam kong wala naman kwenta so sana pabayaan nyo akong magmourn muna for a moment. Hindi madali tong pinagdadaanan ko. Wala akong pakealam kung hindi nyo maintindihan, dahil sa pagkakaalalam ko. I never invade anyone's private's life unless they allowed me so. Kaya sana, pabayaan nyo akong manahimik. Kelangan ko to. Intindihin nyo. For the longest time, tumulong ako sa mga tao, sa mga taong mahal ko, madalas akong makinig, umunawa, magbigay ng advice, makidalamhati sa pagiisa. Sa mga rant nila, pinakinggan ko, mahirap isabay lalo na pag ganto ang sitwasyon ko. Wala nakong lakas para ituwid ang ibang buhay sa ngayon. Kung sarili ko ngang buhay, twisted, papakelaman ko pa ba ang ibang buhay ng tao. Sana maintindihan nyo, at kung hindi man... wala akong akong pakelam.

Boss, pwede magbakasyon? At pede humingi ng pampabakasyon? haha! un natawa din ako sa wakas!

Thank God for this...

This is really helping me.. Wonder if you guys need divertion as well.

Click in here to watch several series you ♥.
http://latest-episode.blogspot.com/

I am fan of The Hills
I LOve Gossip Girls
I adore Desperate Housewives
And I'm planning to watch whichever series that are in here.

Thanks to my lil sister's friend's account from multiply. Now I have this. :)

The Countdown's Soo Over

I didn't see this coming, I was hoping for the best until I recieved a godamn message from her sis telling me that the hearing was fucked up and needs to re-sched on January 28, 2009. My world literally fell down and I got a chance to burst out. It's frustrating too much that I need to take a rest and gather few of my friends then asked them for a lil support and company. I didn't work last night, that's why I'm here at home and since I am feeling disoriented and unfocused, I am now awake though I haven't had enough sleep yet.

I'm not happy that I had to wake up and rant again for the nth time regarding my oh-so-cool love life. I don't have plans of waking up. It would be better if I'll be gone for a while (or for life), or at least save myself from this unbelievable nightmare. I'm not really into taking pieces by pieces, I'm not ready for any changes, I'm even sick and tired of waiting, I could possibly kill myself because of this hatred I am feeling right now. i just couldn't understand why the fuck all these things are happening.

I'm all tired and crazy about stuffs regarding him. But why the hell I can't stop myself from caring? I myself don't know how much I love this man, I could die for him, I can do whatever shits for him, I can somehow make things possible even for other people its kinda weird. Before I was thinking, I'm doing these because I know it's all worth it. Now, I don't have any idea if this will work out. I am dumb! I FUCKIN know!

It's been a while since my last post about updates of my life. I couldn't find time to blog. Also, there's nothing new to share. No excitements and what I'm currently doing was waiting and waiting for the result yesterday. And now, evrything was clear. Clear enough for me to burst out everything! AM I DOOMED TO FAIL? shit this crazy life! I'm afraid to face another chapter of life without him totally. I don't know what to do, I really am frustrated and miserable. :(

redhorse isa pa nga! :(