Spending my weekend

It was sarah's Birthday celebration last Saturday at Tj's crib. It wasn't that super fun compared to all our inuman session's. Looking forward to go clubbin with the rest of my crew on Carmi's party on June 12. Let's rock the Revyx Bar in Bf, Parañaque! Here's the moment last Sat. We weren't complete though. Happy Birthday Bessy Basura! Hehehe
Ito ang kaganapan:
~~ R and I bum around my crib at 5pm to 930pm.
~~ Got a call from Rj, they'll be picking us up at 940pm
~~ Bought coke and marlboro lights at Mang Mar's store.
~~ Arrived Tj's crib 10 mins to 10pm
~~ Bought 2 bracelets from KM (Chanel and Juicy Couture)
~~ Ate Amber Pancit malabon. YUM!
~~ R and the boys grilled the liempo for pulutan
~~ 4 Matador and Redhorse
~~ Stopped drinking nung redhorse na
~~ onteng picture lang naganap. Nalobat si Sarah. Km got a cam though.
~~ Everyone's asking me how I love R. (what's up with you people? Do you think I'm such a player? Come on!)
~~ Everyone's telling me to take care of R (o sige siya na ang chic sa relasyong to)
~~ PJ, Carlo and Ian arrived
~~ Nakakaloka at dumaan si Oge para magyosi break. 15 mins lang with the head dress! Taray mo teh!
~~ Mejo awkward na tinginan. Ayoko neto sa totoo lang.
~~ 430am na ata natapos
~~ Rj, Sarah, Km, R and I bounced
~~ We send Km home first, there's someone freaky stalking her outside their crib. yikes!
~~ They sent me home next
~~ Got text from E, wow! man, you're friends with R stop the crap, please. And oh.. let's keep the friendship as well. FRIENDS. period.
~~ E dropped by my house at 5am. Come on! You got to be kiddin me. We talked outisde.
~~ I fell asleep at around 630am I guess.
~~ very tiring night/day.

11am, I woke up and sent sms to R. We are goin to Tagaytay to accompany Sarah's fam. Tj should be coming with us, but since we know he's dead drunk from the last shot, we opt not to text him nalang. R arrived home 1pm. Wawa, were both hungry while Totee and I were still preparing for lunch. Adobo and shanghai. I know it's 1pm, we don't have maid now, so yea, everyone was so tamad to prepare lunch. Sarah, Marley and Rj fetched us at 130pm.

We headed to Tagaytay, Picnic Grove. This is for Marley. The kid's first time riding a horsey horsey! :)

Rj and R were like bros by heart. Sarah and I love each other as sisters as well. I don't know if this situation was destined by God, but yeah, we four click each other as friends and as couples.
Having a family is not that easy. I learned tons of stuffs from this one cute couple. From the basics about how to take care of a kid to hadling marriage life. These 3 are younger than me, but sure they're all mature to face the reality, they all got common denominator--they got a kid. I know R miss his son so much. I hope one time, he'll have a glance of his face again, carry his son again, have this kind of bonding with him again, and I do hope, the kid would appreciate me as much as his dad appreciate my presence. I am not expecting anything from his son. I mean, he's not a toddler anymore, he's 6 and I know he can understand the real situation. I am not goin to force him to like me, but yeah, I am praying for this kid and his dad always, like always.

Marley is one big boy now. He's my inaanak. He's such a darling. He loves to hang out with the boys--daddy Rj and tito R. Cute that this kid has no arte in all aspect, with regards to food and the place. Whenever I see Marley, I have this thinking.. When will I have my own? :) I don't like to have one soon. But ofcourse, I'd like to have my own baby girl. Para may muse naman ang mga pamangkin ko, and my girlfriend si Baby Marley.

I got goosebumps when Sarah mentioned, "Pano kaya kung meron narin kayo no? Gusto mo ng babae diba chong? Tamang tama para may girlfriend na si Marley!" Sabay ako naman hirit, "Tado!" --Hindi tama! Wala pa sa tamang oras. Hindi ngayon, at hindi siguro dapat mangyari un. :|
It wasn't that cold in Tagaytay yesterday. Badtrip pero keri lang. We had chips and lots of chips sa oto, habang namamasyal. Then we headed to Green Ats for dinner where we used to eat Bulalo during the times we were so drunk before. Bulalo's the best sa Green Ats! okay pa ung view! Kapag andun ako. Ramdam ko ang Tagaytay. :)

Why do I have this feeling na even I'm with R for almost 24/7, parang hindi parin. Parang laging bitin. Just like now. I miss him. Or I'm not sure, sya ba talaga ang miss ko? :|

Oh by the way, we celebrated our 4th Monthsary yesterday. Akalain mo un. 4 mos na kame! nakakagulat. He just texted me now, "4 mos na pala tayo yesterday babe." :)

Happy 115th!

Yes! It's our Birthday today and I forgot it again. HEHE! Good thing, babe texted. It was sweet of him to remember every 10th day of every month. :) I love you for that! :)

What am I supposed to blog right now? I'm actually not in the mood to write, but fuck the tasks am doing at of this time really sucks big time! I have no choice but to continue doing these. I'm so so sooo unlucky for being in this kind of situation.

Anyhow, I'd rather share stories regarding my so-called social life than my work. :) Well, it's been what since I blog about the details of my weekends or my daily routines? Hmmm, I can't remeber when. Even browsing my favorite blogs, I too got no time. It's not because I'm very busy-busy. I don't know, prolly I'm not in the mood or because I have more options to do than reading blogs nowadays.

Weekends for me been enjoying so far. I tend to have some drinking sessions each time. If it's not gonna be at Sarah's crib, it would be at Oge's or prolly at Tj's. Well, I'm just lucky I got tons of friends who never fail to invite me for some drinks on Saturdays. :) I don't know where should I start talking with sense here, but I could really really feel I need to take the exit door! HAH! What's wrong with me? hahahaha! I can't even create a decent sentence. :( arg! FINE! Don't mind me... I'm just dealing with annoyance towards some non sense creature here! LOL

Anyway, fine! I'd share something bout my man's situation. Which I actually don't want to disclose, but hey! I know some of you are still praying for my boyf and for that I owe you an explaination. :)

Ok. I was actually a lil upset about this ish. Not a lil upset, but I am bloody bloody upset about it I swear! So we had a normal hearing last September and October, and to my surprise the case wasn't finish yet. God! How can this be happening? It's been hmmmm... fine! I'll stop ranting here. :) I got a new motto for now, actually came from my mother. She told me... "Don't be afraid, HAVE FAITH!" And I was like, "AMEN!"

No one knows when this will end. No one knows exactly how we are surpassing these trials. I already quit a lot of times but still I'm here, trying to resolve these prob we got. Lately yes I told you I've been hanging out with different circle of friends, but still I got this "alone" feeling. You know what I mean? Even I am surrounded with happy people, even I know my friends would want to make me feel better, even I know I still got my family to count on, STILL... the feeling of being alone is in me. Still, I can feel the lonesome. Still, I am fighting with this battle which I don't know until when...

I've been following some local artists on Twitter and I am actually envious with their activities. If in case my job was similar to them, prolly I wouldn't have time getting depressed or something. Just like Pokie, Mariel, and RR--Wowowee girls. Gosh! They were all lucky to be part of the noon time show! Imagine how much they are earning now, to think they are having fun with what they're doin. I love their JOB as in! I am still hooked up with some TV series. If I don't feel like drinking, I tend to bum around my room and watch different series in the sidereel.com. Again thanks to my friend, Kabog who shared the link. If it wasn't with her, I wouldn't be this updated with GG, The Hills, and Desperate Housewives. Just last Saturday, I started watching, "How I met your Mother" It was indeed a funny series. A must see actually!

I had a great conversation with my kuya last week. They're coming home next year! YAY! Excited! SUPER!

Now the Christmas tree is already up here in the office together with the christmas lights. In our village, the old basketball court was converted to a play ground, and the home owners association officers are actually decorating the place and getting ready for the Christmas. They are trying to build a Belen, and it was huge! Some of my neighbors got christmas decors as well, my mother on the other hand wanted to buy a new parol which has singing christmas lights. I pleaded not to. And Totee thought I'm being bitter about Christmas--YES! I am! And I hate that I am feeling this way. I wanted to be happy and to act normal during holidays, but for some reasons, I don't like the month of November and December. I wanted to skip those months. The sadness is killing me. :( for real!

Next Sat, it'll be Brian's bday, and we'll be celebrating it in his crib. Prolly, I'll go and have fun! Next next week, Nov 21, my girls are planning to celebrate my bday in Sta Rosa, Laguna. Oge's parents has a new house there. I hope it'll be relaxing and fun as well. I'm expecting a few friends to come over, Oge, Carla, Marla, Via, Kai and Dina. Chen is welcome as well, but I'm not sure if she wanted to come. :) On the 28th, I'll have a double celebration bday with my boyf's sis. Her bday is on the 25th. We'll celebrate it together. I don't know the plan yet, I'm thinking of having it somewhere in Parañaque or someone's crib, Sarah's prolly. Km's planning to serve her popular bake mac. It tastes heaven, really! Well, on my bday, 26th of November, I don't have work. YEY for that! It'll be Thanksgiving in the States. Well, I dont have any plans yet. Prolly I'll celebrate it with my fam or with my other half. I don't know. I'm actually not excited for this month, honestly i don't want to celbrate my day, it's just that, it's non sense celbrating it with out my boyf. I actually got other plans before. Before that I knew he'll gonna be free by this month, I got other plans, like celebrating it together out-of-town. So it sucks I'll be celebrating it by myself again. I can't do anything about it though but to thank God I'm still alive and still getting tons of blessings!

God, thank you! Please answer my prayer before my Birthday.. Pretty please...

Surprise me

Today is June 10. We are celebrating our 110th Monthsary. On my way home, I saw a good friend of his, waving his hands and tried to chase the tryk I am riding. So the driver stopped. They guy's name is Onse (haha) he gave me a grin and told me he's about to leave and visit my man. I was touched. There are still few real friends who give so much effort to see my boyf and extend their love and company. Then he told me, Tata went first to my house to bring some stuffs, he reminded me about this day--our Birthday. Now I had the means of smiling. After a long travel from work, not to mention I had a hard time waiting for bus, and in fact I was standing from MRT up to Ayala, then, bus Ayala to Alabang, still standing. What a fudge! Anyway, yea.. I still managed to smile after what I heard from Onse, so I was excited to reach home.

Totee sent sms telling:
"Madam san ka? may padala sayo si sir"

I replied:
"Oto ba yan? Hahaha. E tryk nako. Hirap magcommute. Walang bus. May rally daw."

Totee:
"Hmm hindi motor, dapat pala sinundo na kita jan. Haha!"

As I reached home, Totee showed me the stuffs my man delivered thru Tata. And here they are:

Shrimp, which I love love love.

Chanel wallet. Well, I am a Chanel fan.

Cookies and Cream Ice Cream, which I really need now, because it's freakin' hot in here!

.. Plus a love letter. I love you babe, thanks for all the surprises! These made my day. :) mwah

I know, it's more special if you're the one who'll send me these stuffs. But I completely understand why you're not around. Still happy birthday to us... More birthdays to come, your freedom, and happiness for us. Love you babe.

04.10.2009

I had enough posts about you and me. Seems that I am just doing this for the sake of making this day as special as I want it to be. Last year, say December 2008, I was thinking how would I make our 9th year really really special. It's not suppose to be like how we celebrate our monthsaries. In fairness with you, you never never fail to greet me every 10th of the month since we started this relationship. You even make time and give effort to make me feel special. Unfortunately, all the good memories ended when you left. It's hard when all I can do is to greet you by mind. I don't know how to describe this f'n feeling, but yea, somehow I am getting used to it. Living without you is like living in hell. I would not want to elaborate on things, since you already knew how much I am suffering. So, tell me I'm being mushy here, but I'll give you some deatils on how I'd like to celebrate this day. That is---if time and the situation permits us. SIGH

If we are in a normal world. This must be the scenario:
April 9, 2009 - My man's definitely drunk together with friend's celebrating some dude's birthday. yea. every single day, he got a friend who celebrates bday! haha! I'm used to it, dont worry. It's cool though, I dont bother fighting over it, coz it's non-sense that he'll bring up thousands of names which I don't know. It's pretty obvious he's making up some dude's name, to tell you frankly, I dont give a damn, to whether he is lying or not, it's just that, he's a guy, he loves alcohol, violence, drugs, girls, and shits. So I'm OK with it! LOL crazy me? NAMAN! Hindi lang siguro talaga ako mahigpit. E kaya nga nagkaganto e. YUN!

So there, meaning he couldn't afford to get up early and surprise me for whatever plans he has in mind the next day. LOL better yet, i'll do the honor. :)

April 10, 2009 (6am) - I'll manage to bring him cafe mocha all the way from starbucks northgate alabang. Paborito ni matias java chip frappe e since laseng sya, kelangan nya ng hot. :) i mean. extra hot.

I'll wake him up greeting him with a smooch, coffee at the right hand and his car keys on the left. :) will let him drive going to some place that has breezy air, and coconut trees. A place that is very very far from the city. I don't have anything specific in mind yet, but I'd like to go to a place which we could just use his car so there will be no hassle when it comes to transpo. malamang batangas to? yea could be. anywhere. basta kasama ko sya. YUN! We'll check in then and let him take a shower. Di pa sya naliligo e. LOL I'll go out and buy some stuff that i could cook, probably sinigang. Yun lang naman ang alam ko e. haha! Ipagluluto ko si matias. then we'll start to converse! lagi naman e. Di kame nagsawang magkwentuhan. Ang sayang kausap nun. Parang ako lang! haha After which, we'll go by the shore with redhorse on our hands. LOL. may redhorse naman pala. and the story continues there..

Happy 9th year Anniversary babe! It sucks that I couldn't go there and be with you today :(

I love you so..

`madam

How do you interpret dreams?

Why do I always dream about you not being nice to me, opposite of what I am expecting once you get out of that horrible place? I don't know what to think, but yea, I somewhat had a picture of you and me fighting again over same crappy thing which is MJ. I don't know. It was actually a nightmare for me. You see, we're in a group of friends chillin around, drinking booze and partying all night, when all of a sudden you left without saying a word to me. I dunno what happened next but yea, someone caught you using that shit again. WTF right? I hope this will only remain as a bad bad dream. Please do not make it hard for me when you're out. Please?

Btw, it's our 104th monthsary yesterday and I'm quite happy he didn't forget that special day. Unlike me, since I'm dealing with tons of stupid shits, I almost forgot it's the 10th day of December. How I wish you'll stay sweet and thoughtful when we get back together, or should I say, stay like that until forever. We couldn't celebrate special days together, we couldn't be together for those supposedly romantic dates, we couldn't talk and cuddle for those important days of our lives, but, I wanted you to know, you're always in my heart, you're always in my mind, wishing I could be with you everyday and every night.

I love you babe, and you know.. YOU'RE the ONE! :)
Happy 104th. Huggs

A morning to mourn..

I just finished episodes 7-13 of Season 4 of "The Hills". Wow! I've been online since 8:00am today. Blogging and surfing the net. Nothing to do, i just don't want him to occupy my thoughts. It's not working anyway. :( The reason why I had to wake up was that I got a text message from him. It was a lovely text indeed. It made my morning very very lonely.

hi, im sorry but i cant forget this day and i cant stop myself doing this. im badly missing you babe, i love you still. Happy bday. thanks for everything. - onie

Aww. How in the world I could forget this day? it's nov 10 and we are suppose to celebrate our 103rd monthsary of togetherness. Well, if you could call it that. Hah! yea? how do we call it anyway? I dont know.

Btw, I replied and here it goes...

you know how much you mean to me. I want you to work on your case foirst, once you're free, look for me. By then, let's start a new chapter of our lives. It is hard living without you. I know it's gonna be very very lonely. But i have to do this. Take care of yourself babe. I'll wait for you. Trust me on that. - aiza

It's just sad. really. Ang dami pa namang events na magaganap sa mga susunod na araw. There goes my Birthday on the 26th of this month. Then, I'll gonna be having a long weekend after that because it's Thanksgiving in the states. Then, there's Christmas and New Year. A lot of ocassions that I will ofcourse celebrate alone. The lonesome is killing me.

I was thinking though.. Ilang birthday at pasko pa ang lilipas na wala sya? ilang problema pang personal ang lulutasin ko na magisa? Ilang gabi pang papasok ako na walang kasama? ilang gabi pang tatamarin akong pumasok na wala sya? Sa mga oras na gusto kong uminom at magpakachill sana, wala akong taong mayaya man lang na sabayan ako sa pagdurusa. I'm all down, miserable and lost. He mentioned something yesterday which really touched my heart, nasaktan ako para sa kanya. Alam ko ang paghihirap nya dun, walang may ibang alam kundi ako.

sabi nya..

Gusto ko nalang gumising kung dapat ng gumising. kapag hearing ko na dun ko nalang gusto gumising. pero kahit anong gawin ko hindi naman ako makatulog. ilang araw nakong gising. pagod nako.

Wala akong nagawa kundi yakapin sya. Iparamdam nalang sana na andito ako para sa kanya. Yet, iba narin ang decision ko. Ang lumayo, hanapin ang sarili ko. Alam kong imposible to. Pero sana wala naman kumontra na kaya ko. Di ko kelangan ng komento ng mga taong alam kong wala naman kwenta so sana pabayaan nyo akong magmourn muna for a moment. Hindi madali tong pinagdadaanan ko. Wala akong pakealam kung hindi nyo maintindihan, dahil sa pagkakaalalam ko. I never invade anyone's private's life unless they allowed me so. Kaya sana, pabayaan nyo akong manahimik. Kelangan ko to. Intindihin nyo. For the longest time, tumulong ako sa mga tao, sa mga taong mahal ko, madalas akong makinig, umunawa, magbigay ng advice, makidalamhati sa pagiisa. Sa mga rant nila, pinakinggan ko, mahirap isabay lalo na pag ganto ang sitwasyon ko. Wala nakong lakas para ituwid ang ibang buhay sa ngayon. Kung sarili ko ngang buhay, twisted, papakelaman ko pa ba ang ibang buhay ng tao. Sana maintindihan nyo, at kung hindi man... wala akong akong pakelam.

Boss, pwede magbakasyon? At pede humingi ng pampabakasyon? haha! un natawa din ako sa wakas!

surprised

I was at Cavite with my mom at that time. Km texted me. She then send something at my house. Wondering what was it, I hurriedly called totee to ask. On our way home, I wasn't comfortable with my seat. The aircon's not functioning well and I was about to scream because of the person seated next to me. Arg! hahaha. funny thing though, he keeps on singing and murmuring every single lyrics of all songs from the radio. That makes me sick. (or I just envy him, because I also wanted to sing.. LOL) So, we arrived Festival mall. I treated mom at Tokyo Tokyo for dinner. Then we headed up to home. I was surprised with the present I received from hubby. awwwww. It was nice. What more he's really here to celebrate our 8th yr anniversary together? Sigh... wondering, what could be the real scenario then.

I was watching this show from Velvet channel, "The Bachelor", and one second i see myself teary eyed because of the situation. The guy and the girl had a very very intimate dinner date. The palce was full of white balloons, even the walk way itself, full of baloons, then the guy gave out his present, a D&G diamond earings. Shoot! how sweet was that?

I came to realize how seldom Onie and I had a romantic dinner in the past. I actually couldn't remember any instance we had one. Oh! that would be our first ever date when we were still a kid. Hahahaha! we had a lunch date at Racks and it was ok. nothing special happened. Wala lang I just want to experience a romantic dinner, a date, or something to cherish in the future.

Oh well, for now, this is one of the sweetest thing he did for me. :) I'll see you soon hubby. I miss you badly.

The One

My other half, my best friend, my shock absorber, my star, my only one, my beloved, my hubby, used to become my hunny and baby, my bee, my soulmate, my ever loyal boyfriend, my man, my love, my reason of living, my life, the one who i wanted to live my life with for the next 100 years of my life.. my eternity...

Happy 8th year anniversary. You mean so much to me that no one knows how exactly what I feel for you. I love you hubby. You rule my world!

Random Thoughts

I do not have anything in mind right this moment, but I had this urge of letting something to blurt out, something that i wanna write about even without thinking of anything to write. i don't have biggie problems, nor having issues from my past but there's this... ahhh i don't know... just come with me and hear me blow... :(

There's no particular thing that makes me upset right now, but i'm kind of you know, sad and not feeling okay. i really don't know why. Prolly, this could be the emptiness once again. I feel so alone. Well, yea! Literally, I'm alone in this area that's why I had the guts of blogging again. I don't have anyone to talk to, to take a break, or even to have a stick of yosi down stairs. There's no one in here, that is prolly the reason why I'm upset.

I woke up really early a while ago. Earlier than the usual waking hours i used to do before. Somewhat, I like the feeling, since I didn't had a hard time going to the office without my cousins accompanying me to get a ride. Just so you know, the vicinity where I live right now is not so nice that someone should come along with me going to the office or at least up until I rode a jeepney/cab/fx. After logging in YM, I went to the pantry and let coke subside my thirsty throat. (Could it be the reason of me being so weird now? because instead of coffee, i chose to drink a glass of coke? hmmm..) So I proceeded to my unfinished tasks yesterday. Late last week, I loved the feeling of being busy because of work. My drive for work was really strong then. Just after this weekend, all turned out the other way around. I somehow, do not know where to start. I got tons of tasks to do, but nothing would be accomplished prolly today because I do not have drive for work. Sad, because part of me wanted to finish all these before my boss arrive from abroad trip...

Tasks accomplished before blogging:
1. Read/Answered all important emails
2. Went over shop4teeshirts again. Revised 4 pages.
3. Submitted articles to article submission.

Wow! Great job! I thought I wasn't working at all.

*my phone alarmed!*

Now, I have the means of blogging! WTF! It's our 8th anniversary!

Time Check: 11:44pm 16 mins after, the date will be April 10, 2008... Now, I understand why I am upset, seriously, I while ago, I do not have any idea why I have this kind of feeling. Kaya naman pala. :(

I miss you hubby.. happy 8th year anniversary. Whatever you're doing right now. I want you to know, how much I miss you. See you soon. :(

So, all in all, hubby and I were together for 2,920 days now. Let's continue the count down...