I'm so jealous

I know I'm being so praning about wedding stuffs. I just couldn't help myself, but feel jealous about this. Check this out.

Doug Kramer's marriage proposal to Cheska Garcia

AND finally ..

The wedding

So lovely, soo cute, soooo sweet! :(

Just because am bored and sleepy..

I did this stupid survey.

Is there a girl/boy that knows everything or almost everything about you?
~> I guess Onie almost knows every single detail about me. Which sometimes I think is not so cool.
Have you ever made out in a public bathroom?
~> hell no!
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
~> yes
Have you ever had the cops called on you?
~> Thank god no.
When was the last time you danced?
~> Hmmm, I always do some weird steps. lol (pacool steps no? lol)
If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
~> life is getting worse, so probably yea, I'll change some of pieces of my past.
Would you ever kiss anyone 16 and over?
~> YEAH i would
Has anyone ever crawled through your window?
~> wala pa naman
Who did you last ride in a car with?
~> manong taxi driver haha
What is something you're currently frustrated about?
~> should I still need to spell it out?
Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with and who?
~> nah, i heart that guy.
How did you and your number 1 become friends?
~> He's my childhood sweetheart. aww. scrap it! haha
Does the person you like, like you back?
~> i guess so.
Do you give out second chances too easily?
~> if i think they're worth it
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
~> i can not remember. I cry on my own.
Have you told anybody you loved them today and who was it?
~> nah.
Have you ever taken a nap with a member of the opposite sex?
> yea.
Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?
~> I guess so
Do you have plans for tomorrow and wat?
~> just plain work. arg! freakin' boringggg
couldn't have kids, would you adopt?
~> yes, but i want to have kids of my own..
Have you ever lied about your age?
~> nope. I don't need to. Sabi nila. I always look younger. lol
Ever stolen something out of someone's yard?
~> flowers lang
Have you ever written anything on a bathroom wall or door?
~> jologs...haha
When playing truth or dare, which do you choose?
~> truth
Whats one thing you miss?
~> Cuddling. LOL
How long until your birthday?
~> a month from now
Who was the last person to call you?
~> Tatu
What's your favorite brand of gum?
~> Judge
Any Siblings?
~> 1 bro, 3 sis
How old is the cellphone you have right now?
~> less than a month?
Do you know anyone named Tyler?
~> nah
What was the last thing you bought?
~> yosi
Can you do a handstand?
~> yes
How many funerals have you been to in your lifetime?
~> below 10
Do you like surprises?
~> A LOT :)
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
~> sure
Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
~> hmmm.. i guess none. lol lahat tamad, lahat ayaw mag-alaga, gusto sila ang aalagaan. LOL
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
~> glasses and contax, at times
Has anyone upset you in the last week?
~> the current situation, onie, and some bitchy cab drivers.
Are you a forgiving person?
~> it deopends
What were you doing at 3 AM this morning?
~> wooorking!
Something that made you mad today?
~> nothing
Is your room clean?
~> yep
Who are your last three texts from?
~> km, gen, tatu
Where'd you get the shirt your wearing?
~> st. francis

Do you know how lucky you are?

Some people misunderstood the real meaning of happiness. I admit, most of the time I really don't know where, with whom, and how would I get this particular feeling. All of us are seeking and longing for this. At some point, we actually don't seem to understand that we are already happy, what's really bugging us is that, we are not contented of what we have, what we are, and where we are.

Ok. lemme get straight to the point. I have a friend. Who's very very lucky but she didn't know she was. So I was having a good conversation with her last night, and since we lack time for she has to leave and my shift just started, I told her I'll gonna post an entry for her about what I'd want tell her exactly.

For the past few months or weeks probably, I haven't seen this girl. I text her at times, but seldomly we exchanged messages because we have different shifts. It's kinda obvious that this girl is one of my favorites among my friends, I believe each of my buddies are unique by personalities and I kinda had a lot of good and bad times with her before compared to others. Somewhat, she didn't leave me behind and tried her best to be a perfect friend so I am really grateful having her around. :) (thanks buddy I owe you one!) So yeah, to reciprocate whatever she did for me before, I am now trying my best to be a perfect friend to her as well.

At this point of time, I know she's in the midst of her searching, seeking for someone to be with her for the rest of her lives. But yeah, we know this prob is very very common to us girls that we badly want to meet Mr. Right at this age. However, it wasn't that easy. The searching continues each and everyday and we all hope that whoever would be the lucky man who'll be our other halves would be the ideal man we have from our dreamland. So yeah, this friend of mine reached the peak of her boiling point. She even want to go to Baclaran and pray really hard to our Lord God for his Mr. Right. She was so frustrated that she went to me and ask help to get over this feeling or help her find Mr. Right.

As a good friend, first thing I did was to enlighten her how lucky she is without a boyfriend. There are other things which we should prioritize than ranting about not having a boo by our side. Should I need to mention this for her to realize how blessed she is? This girl is a rich kid, a programmer, a dean's lister way back in college (haha), so she's smart and I tell you what? This girl is a chick. She doesn't have vices and yah.. ok ok.. she's really nice. A perfect description for her is--opposite of me. LOL

The second step I did was to search some of guy friends from my phonelist. My plan is to text them regarding courting this girl. LOL. And yeah I did! To my surprise, 2 friends replied. So, it was definitely a successful task! GREAT!

I know, what we did was weird, but I seriously wanted to help you search for Mr. Right. Who knows this guy might be him! hehehehe.



haha! Like I said, I'd be grateful seing you happy and contented. Girl, I wish you and him will be together really soon, and when I say soon, I'm hoping for like next week. LOL. (Ang tagal e!)

On Saturday, I wish I could come. I won't forget texting everyone if I'm coming.. So guys, see you when I got to see ya all!

Geni, Cheer up! Stop being paranoid about having a boyfriend or what, in God's perfect time... (sana sinasabi ko rin to sa sarili ko no? LOL)

Fine! I'm done with this! :D

Who the hell cares..

... if Christmas is really fast approaching?

Shopping is the only way I could make myself somewhat happy so I need to go to the mall once in a while, but what the heck! there's already christmas songs playing all over the malls which I really can not take. Okay. I'm being too bitter about it. I honestly do not want that holiday season to come. It's just that, for me, holidays are for happy couples, and I don't belong to that crowd! I feel so awful hearing "silver bells" and "santa claus is coming to town" songs, samahan mo pa ng tagalog na... "sana ngayong pasko ay maalala mo paren ako" whatever shit songs!

ok ok. this is soo not fair!! I can not believe I'll celebrate Christmas alone for the second time! His folks promised me, we'll be together this Christmas, and okay i wanna messaged him some bitchy text messages like. "Hey, do you even know what's the date today? Do you even know Christmas is fast approaching? What happened to your promise? Again, I know you're suffering too.. BUT SERIOUSLY, IF HE'LL NOT CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS WITH ME THIS YEAR, I THINK I'LL GONNA DIE LITERALLY!"

God! I'm feeling helpless. I don't want this feeling. or should I say, i want this feeling to end!

Please NO CHRISTMAS SONGS for me, or even christmas tree or christmas stuffs! Damn it! I'm soo outta here!

We should be apart, babe..

How can you say it's too much already? I really don't know when to stop caring for a person who's been a part of me since HS. I had enough, but still I can't manage to let go and be brave to tell him on his face that I'm happy no more. Ok. Cut the latter part. I actually did last Sat. But, you see he gave in once again and did his lil drama and all. So what's gonna be my reaction after that? Of course, was to be silent and yea, accept the fact that I should stay and wait for whatever shit am waiting for the longest time.

I do love this man. I actually wanna marry him someday. If he's available right now, I'll be the one to insist marrying him right then and there. Yea, I am that stupid and crazy over this guy. As for him? I don't know. I actually do not know if he knows the real definition of what we call L♥VE.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;

love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;

it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails...But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

--- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13

So there, I must say, yeah, I still love this man. But what am I suppose to do when I really need to let go because I'm fuckin' stressed and hurt at the same time...

Last time we talked about our wrecked relationship, I was totally crying like hell. I got real big eyebags that I barely open my eyes. :( It was indeed one of my saddest nights of my life. Crap! I asked him, how would he kiss me if that night would be his last time to see me. Then he was like really silent and stiff, not even looking at me. To break the silence, I cared to scream, WHAAAAAAAAAAT?? are we going to stare each other until tomorrow or you'll show me how you'll gonna kiss me goodbye for the fuckin' last time...

Then he go like..

There will be no goodbye kiss for us. Because this is not the ending, there will be no ending for us babe.

I'm like..

Fuck that! I really don't care what life will treat me after this, I just wanna be out of this shitty relationship that gives me a lot of pains and heartaches, and frustartions. I seriously wanna die! Can you like kill me, so I could die beside you, I do not want to continue my life after this. I'm feeling crappy and all. What I want is for you to have a normal life with me outside this awful place. I am bloody miserable!

The story ends there, becuase I fell asleep when I was crying. :( I went home by 10pm. It was indeed a tiry day/night. Still am undecided. I don't know where we stand. I feel crappy and bad.

Life.. Oh Life..