Suddenly

I miss blogging. I miss being happy. I want to have a long rest. I want to contemplate. I want to go somewhere. A place where no one knows me. A place I could totally chill and have a time only for myself. I know it's hard and this feeling is draining me to death. I hope I could find peace of mind. I am praying hard. So God help me.

Fuuuuuck!

I'm not faking it! I'm just trying to fix things. If you only knew how heart breaking it is for me to see we're fallin apart. I need space. I even want to see a psychiatrist. I'm that desperate for this fucked up relationship. If you can't understand, then go to effin hell! We've come this far man, I know we are legend. But please take into consider the feelings I had when you left. Changes were everywhere. I changed. You changed. Feelings were changed. It's not the same anymore. You can't bring back 2007. It's all done. This is the new me. If you can't deal with it, then fuck off!

I'm freakin' out! YES! I KNOW!

The White Party

I've planned this for so long and yea, thank God, it was SUCCESS!

Invitation for the White Party

Thank you facebook, it wasn't that hard inviting people nowadays.

Who: O N I E
What: Surprise Birthday Celebration and Home Coming party
When: August 29, 2010, 8pm
Where: Central, Soldiers Muntinlupa City
How: White Party

My girls, in action (Thank you for helping me with this :))

Set Up/Plan:
Projector, sound system, balloons all over, cake, talked to the waiters, told the manager what food to prepare, check the guest list.

It was successful! I invited most of his friends, his family, my family, and some of my officemates.

His Family

My Family

High School Batch, SCS

My Girls

The Boys

PCU / PWU's Friends

Mutual Homes, Phase I & II Friends

Soldiers' Friends

My Officemates and their hubbies

Gork, Melay!

Yea, man! Jill!

Thanks Dan, Melay, Jill and Sean! Kisses ♥!

I prepared a presentation, a 10 minute video for him. It's uploaded in FB for those who want watch, click here.

Totee sang my song for O entitled, OO by Updharmadown. That's my song for him since we broke up. Apir Totee!

That's my birthday cake for him. Blew the candle before the presentation by the way.

Bought yellow cab pizzas as well. It's O's cravings. Everyone loved it! Ginawang lumpia, parang limang minuto lang ang limang box. Thanks Richard S. for the discount! Loves!

Thank you Central for the free one bottle of Tequila! Yay!

Thank you to Vanessa B. and Don Alponso D. for giving greeting videos for O. You two are the bestEST! I love you both! To the management of Central, goodjob! Sa uulitin! YAY! For those who came, to all of you who made this White party possible, Thank you so much! Kisses.

Here's my outfit for the white party

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!

I love you babe, let's get married! CHOS! hahaha

Reunited

August 25, 10pm
Left the house feeling effed up. I know he's home. I was expecting too much. Boquet of flowers, a ring, a big hug from him. He was supposed to be in my house that night, that's what I was thinking then. I cursed him so bad. He failed me once again. I went to a friend's house to smoke and curse like hell! I was about to cry and then my celly beeped.

"Andito nako. Nasa bahay ka ba?"

I called and yelled at him! haha

Thank you Lord, answered prayer. I've prayed for only one thing for the past three years and seven months. I won't get tired of thanking you, dear Lord. Thank you so much. Onie came back.

Our first ever pic after 3 years and 7 months

God's good, all the time! Now I realized, all the things were planned. Something good has to come in God's perfect time. Amen! :)

New beginning

I am thinking of deleting this account. One, because I wanted to start a new life. And two, There's a lot of good memories here about ex. But I thought of not doing so for I know this would help me appreciate good things happened in my life.

So let's begin to appreciate life. Here's the new me with the man I wished to be with for the rest of my life ;)

I knew this would going to happen...

I've been MIA for the past few weeks. A lot of shits happened. It was a roller coaster ride. Little did I know everything's going to it's right places and I thank the Lord God, He never left me since. 7 months. All done. Finished. Need to let go. R and I had the most awesome days together. I always thank him as well for being with me since January. We didn't had a major problem with regards to relationship, I can't say it was perfect but yeah, it was close to it. As I always rave about how sweet this guy and how patient he was all through out. Suddenly August came. I was in panick mode. I knew something's going to happen which R would not totally understand. The come back of the man of my life, O. Yes, my love story always have a spice on it. I'm not proud of it though. Things happened very quickly and I made a decision. To let go. R helped me fix things. He was very supportive. I couldn't think of any nasty things he did that time. He was so calm that I myself couldn't understand. Actually, those ways he was showing me made me realize how hard to choose between them. I can not have this guy again once I ended this relationship. But worst scenarios keep on buggin me. His wife, his kid, and the rest of the shits continue to flow in my mind. I had a mixed emotions. Totally sad and extremely happy. Didn't like the feeling, I swear. It's really hard but R was just an angel. He was really etra nice. He kept his temper and managed to understand every single word I uttered. Then finally, we broke up. We ended the night but my feelings didn't ended there. The story of my life--sucks to death.

Days Beyond Happiness

Good morning, Babe!

Last weekend was such a meaningful moment for us, me and my boyfriend. I really had a great time. :) I was hoping time would stop litteraly for us to enjoy each moment together. Friday night, we grabbed some dinner at KFC. He had 2 pcs of chicken and I had a lighter meal, famous bowl. We were really excited to meet up because we had a one straight week focusing with our jobs, so just imagine how excited we are to meet again. Came weekend, we've decided to have a quality time at his crib Friday after shift til Monday morning. It was actually fun. We experienced being together, we felt like we were just playing "luto-lutuan" or "bahay-bahayan". We ended up the night cuddling while watching a horror film, The Day of the Dead.

See that mini hotdogs and 2 sunny side up eggs up there? Yea, we mananged to cook that together as we wake up Saturday morning. We went to the grocery store to buy some goods for our meals ahead. We bought snacks and some toiletries. 11am, R started preparing for our lunch. He cooked Tuna Pasta and fried chicken and it was delish I swear. We even shared it to his brother's family living at the back of his house and the kids went gaga over the food, they went over to our place and asked "Tito meron pa bang tuna pasta? Ang sarap e". I was a proud girlfriend having a boyf who's really a master in cooking and a very kind tito to his pamangkins. :)

Tuna Pasta and Crispy Fried Chicken

Ingredients:
1/2 kilo Del Monte Pasta
Cream Mushroom
Mushrooms
Nestle Cream
2 cans Century Tuna (Flakes and Oil)
Garlics
Onions
Tomatoes

We were thinking of shopping at SM that afternoon but we kinda think it's not a good idea because the clouds are becoming a lil dark, it might start to rain. I dragged R outside to walk along the village. Hee. He didn't like it at first, he said he'll bring Reina (his Rottweiler) with us, so it wouldn't be that awkward seeing us walking together. It wasn't his thing. I mean, R isn't that showy guy who use to cuddle when people is around. Reina is a big big dog and I can't stand if he'll run so fast, he might scare me to death, so I said let's stay here at home and watch instead. Suddenly, he brought me outside and then we started walking, holding hands as we appreciate the big houses along the village. There were tons of big houses. Some are for rent and others are for sale. We were dreaming of buying a corner lot and building our own dream house having Nikos (his son) and baby girl, our own daughter. It was as if real scenario. As I hold his hand I asked him, would that be possible for us to build our own family? He kissed me in forehead and said, "just have faith, we'll get there."

We were about to go back to his crib, meanwhile Myles, his pretty niece caught us. She asked us to tag along with her friends and go to Texas St. where the playground is. We obliged. We bought some ice cream in the nearby store and started licking each own pinipigs and chuckie popsicle stick :)

Myles, R's lovely niece who's very shy in camera!

At night the rain started to fall. We were about to go out and drink somewhere but we opted to stay home instead and there we had several beers with his friends. His niece went out and told R he'll accompany us tomorrow in SM and we'll go shopping. YEY!

The next day, I was the one who prepared the brekky. Unfortunately, I forgot to take pics of it. I cooked scambled egg, a different version actually. Sayang I should have showed you how it looked like. We had a big brekky. Scambled egg by madam, barbecue and tons of rice. LOL

The kid finally arrived our place and asked her tito what time are we goin to leave for shopping, she was so excited. So after brekky, me and R prepared to leave.

I'll gonna blog what happened to our mall tour in my other space, so stay tuned :)

We arrived home at 4pm. The kid was so happy with the stuffs we bought for her. We started the movie marathon with the kids. We prepared tons of chips for them, we even made popcorn so they will feel the movie house like ambiance LOL.

Meanwhile R prepared dinner. He grilled pork chops and I thought of not eating too much because I was feeling full the whole time. But I was wrong, I end up eating bunch of rice and his mouth watering grilled pork chops! Ahhh LIFE! Sarap!

We finished watching Friday the 13th and Step Up 2. We hit the sack then and had a nice conversation as we go to sleep. R and I had a good talk about our future, yes, I know I got goosebumps while we were talking. I didn't know me and R will finally talk about these things. I thought I'll just be having this conversation with only one person and glad to know there's this someone who will still appreciate and come with me as I start to dream my future again having my own family... with him. :)

Simple things happened in my weekend. Those simple things will always be cherished in my heart. Moments which are priceless and will forever stay in my mind. :) Thanks babe for the wonderful four days we had last weekend! I love you, R.

How Sweet it is to be Loved by You

Watched Salt with my college friends plus R. It was fun. Great seeing them again. We had frappucinos at Starbucks 6750 after the movie and had some catching up because the last time we had it was I guess.. uhhhm i don't know anymore. LOL
I guess R was bored that time. He must be really tired from work. He fetched me in Shaw Boulevard and we headed to Glorietta 4. He's not into coffee and he wasn't that close to my friends so he was too silent that night and keep on texting me to go home and rest even we're just sitting face to face. LOL mind you we just had a lil petty quarrel the day before that moment happened. So once we got home, the only thing that came out to my lips when I opened the door was.. "Awww.." because of this: :)

These 3 red roses were sitting in the bed since he left the house before going to work. Really touched. blushing right now. :)

Thanks baby for making me smile everyday. I'm missing you right now. :)

The following weekend, I had a group date with my college friends again. But this time, Irene was around. :) Nice! This was actually a no-plan gathering, Irene, Gaze and I were supposed to meet somewhere else then yeah, we ended up catching up in Starbucks, 6750. I know! It's the same place as the previous week's tambay session. Irene arrived at 11pm I guess. We really waited for so long :) Lintek ka! haha

Attendees: Aiza, Gen, Gaze, Michelle, Irene, Martin, Neggie

We called it a night at quarter to 1am. I headed to R's crib and saw him standing in front of the gate. He's been waiting for me for 3 hours and opted to have drinks with his cousins to eat the time while he's waiting. As I enter the room, he hug me and handed a big chocolate bar from behind. :) Lovely!

I asked him why he keeps on surprising me each week. He just said, "babe, you said we didn't had the courtship phase, now I'll gonna court you everyday. what do you say?"

Awwwww...

I left him the next day and snoozed all day at home. I love weekends staying with R! :)

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

It's August now, I have this planned event on the last week of the month. Everything's already in my plate--venue, presentation, guest's list, and the budget. However, as time flies so fast, I came to a point where I asked myself, am I really ready for this? Should I really face the fact that we are going to meet face to face here outside. I don't know, really. So, what I've decided is to stop thinking, chill for a moment and just scrap all my plans. I've planned this for 3 years and several months, i know it's frustrating if I won't pursue this but as I've said, I'm not really sure if I'm really ready to face everything now.

So yea, I don't have a serious goal for this month, maybe to have a new do or dye my hair which I already accomplished last Sunday. Will tell more stories about it soon. :)

(30 Day Challenge)

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

He's my source of strength, my life, my inspiration to almost everything, I could just leave everything behind and be with him for the rest of our lives--but not today, not now. Those were my feelings since the day I met him until last night. Suddenly, everything has changed. I thought he was the one who has the greatest impact on me. But I proved myself wrong. I got to think, I love myself more. Last night I made the hardest decision in my entire 26 years of my life... To turn back and choose the other one. I'm sorry, I'm not saying I'm feeling great right now, not contented either. Just let me do this, this time. Give me time to fix this mess. I love you, and I could come back. Not soon, but PROBABLY, I will.

(30 Day Challenge)