Weekend Update

I had a not so good Saturday..

But lemme first say this, congratulations to my sister! She just gave birth to her first baby boy.. John Paul. Here's the cute pic.

See below my cute nephews and niece, how grateful I am having them. Still wondering when would I have my own kid? hehehe.



Life's been the same. I had no new stories to share. Same old rants. Same old shits. Very very dull life. :( sigh This isn't healthy anymore.

Hubby and I had a lil' arguement. This is about me, him, and the rest of the people around us. I don't know if I should disclose everything here in my blog. I wanted to burst out. I wanted to say everything, I wanted to scream and tell the whole world that I am GODAMN mad of what have had happened. It is obviously I am doing all the possible things in this earth to make everything cool about this not-so-normal relationship, but what else could they want me to do? Am I saying it right? Errr.. It's getting into my nerves. Seriously!

We had a nice talk though. He had his realizations and I had mine. Good thing, I left before the the night came. I was really exhausted and finally I arrived home. I got to manage playing with our new angel and chatting with my sisters. I was envious of them holding their cute lil angels and trying to give milk from their own breasts. Sigh. I can feel a lot of pressure this time! I wanna have my own! I wanna build my own family! I wanna be happy just like them! Oh my! Why all of a sudden I keep on insisting of getting married, of having my own child, of moving out of this house and kinda like living on my own with my wishful-thinking husband to be. Pressured? Me? C'mon! YAH! I AM!

Currently and with all honesty, I am really really lonely. Been alone for 1 year and a half now i guess, I always had this urge of thinking why would I settle to be like this, when I could always look for a new one? or be available instead? It's my own choice, I have all the means anyway, who would force me not to do this? No one right? hmmmm.

BUT (yeah I have a big but here)

I am still counting on having hope that someday, the one I wanted to be my other half for the rest of my life will definitely be available 24/7 of his life and by then on, we'll have a PEACEFUL, meaningful, simple or glamorous life as what we wanted it to be.

I am still holding on... this is really me.. I am dumb.. yeah seriously...

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I want/I like

Everyone's not in a good mood. Even boss, even the person beside me, even shellie, even him i guess (haven't heard anything from him since... i can only see him online, but i don't want to bug him first.) even K, she's absent. I don't know if she's still coming. I talked to her thru celly and she's at the party. I didn't manage to ask who's party is it anyway. Why everyone's in bad mood today? As for me, I am very much contented with my stats. I hit 85/day as of 4/13 and that is a great output for free search! It means, I'm bloody functioning well here! So now, I'm about to stick to what's my plans. I already got boss' trust and I am confident but still hoping that evrything will turn out right.

On the other hand, though I can say, work here is very very stable, I still got to think of leaving this company. Why? because everyone's thinking about it! haha! Yeah! I don't wanna end up alone without my favorite colleagues here. K forwarded an email she got from JobsDb. Here's the link:

SEO Specialist/Internet Marketing
If you'll gonna see what's in there, it is a work from home job. I'm kinda like of interested with the thought of working from home, [I can take this as a part time job, additional income ;)] but how do I pursue this if I am living in Pasig without my desktop with me. Now am thinking of buying my own laptop. How cool is that? But hey, I'm still paying a lot of my obligations, I couldn't afford to buy anything.. I'm still in a cost cutting phase. ;) But I browsed on some laptops over the net, and I wanna buy it for myself :(

ACER 4310 LAPTOP FOR SALE
Regular Price: P 32,000.00
Now Only: P 25,000.00
Save: P 7,000.00

SPECIFICATIONS:
ACER 4310 (slightly used, two months pa lang)
Intel Celeron 1.70Ghz
80Gig Harddisk
1Gig Memory
DVD writer
Wi-fi ready
5 in 1 memory card reader
bulit-in camera
COMPLETE PACKAGES and ACCESSORIES
w/ original receipt for factory warranty

I Made This

This is live now and Im proud of it!

http://corporate-gifts.branders.com
http://corporate-gifts.branders.com/promotional-mugs.html
http://corporate-gifts.branders.com/custom-bags.html
http://corporate-gifts.branders.com/promotional-pens.html
http://corporate-gifts.branders.com/company-shirts.html

Am a real designer now! Thank good God!

:)

Update: Wasn't able to talk to him in my entire shift. :( that's ok. I don't want to be his close friend anyway. :)

He Made Me Smile

I've been seated here for 4 hours now since I arrived, I am forcing myself to work really hard for the next projects I am handling, but I don't have the drive for work. Let me put it this way..

After signing in, I checked on my friendslist in YM, he's still offline. I checked his seat in his department, he's not in there yet. I don't have his celly number to ask what's up with him, so I don't have any means of knowing why is he still not around. Oh yea? I've been eyeing this man... Hell no?!

Since I wasn't functioning well (like my computer at times hehe), I wished to take a look into what's in the pantry. In there, some employees were busy eating, the IT dept were there, some of the Eng, and some from sales. I decided to grab a food, though I don't have company with me, I still opted to eat there instead of bringing my plate here in my desk. After eating, I get another glass of iced tea and went back to my place. Along my way, I glanced at his seat and found him there :) I didn't look at him totally, I just saw what color he's wearing right now, and its a yellow green poloshirt. It made me smile :) really and I don't know why.

I wanted to drop a message at YM. Just "hi sweetie!" would be fine. But errrr. better not to. :) I'll just take a peek of him everytime I need something from their department.

Fuck, just now he just signed out from YM. Sigh.. wonder why?

There's something in me that I wanted him to know: I've been thinking of him last weekend. And just that thought made me smile. I wish we could have a nice talk again. I wish too, haaay, i couldn't wish for that i guess..

He's back online. :)

I was in the Beach

Gaze and I were about to go to the shore. We were barefooted. We were enjoying the sand and the heat of the sun. I was a lil' bit excited that time, it was my first outing for summer 08' and even I wasn't that prepared for the event, I had a chance to bring every lil' thing I needed for the trip.
There, I posed haha! I admit, it was just a drama, I certainly know I was being photographed by Gen at that time. The sun was great, I don't have the means of putting any sunblock at all (or should I say, I didn't bring any LOL). I careless, I don't give a sh*t whether I turned to be an "ITA" after that trip. I was having fun, so hell I care! hahaha!


There, again, me and Gaze savoring every detail of the beach, from the sand, to the shore, we will definitely miss this place from Bataan. The water was cool. Just perfect for swimming, it was really really clear, no water pollution, that's the most thing I liked about it. And I've been inlove with that beach.

I wasn't aware when that photo was taken. The sun was up, the cool breeze of the sea was tamed. Perfect setting for people who are very much inlove. Ahhh! I miss being inlove. I miss being with special someone in the beach alone. That photo made me upset now. That can define my situation right, ALONE.


Cool pics with Geni and Gaze. ~_~

Hahahaha! I insisted to take a pic, me on my two-piece. Isn't it gorgeous? AHEM!

We just love being in there...


See how cool it was? We were as if at Boracay because of the white sand.. Gee! I love it! Are we gonna do this again guys? I wanna chill, i want to relax, I just want to have peace of mind, I just want to get over of polluted Manila! I want to see a beach again! C'mon! Let's rule Galera! :D

surprised

I was at Cavite with my mom at that time. Km texted me. She then send something at my house. Wondering what was it, I hurriedly called totee to ask. On our way home, I wasn't comfortable with my seat. The aircon's not functioning well and I was about to scream because of the person seated next to me. Arg! hahaha. funny thing though, he keeps on singing and murmuring every single lyrics of all songs from the radio. That makes me sick. (or I just envy him, because I also wanted to sing.. LOL) So, we arrived Festival mall. I treated mom at Tokyo Tokyo for dinner. Then we headed up to home. I was surprised with the present I received from hubby. awwwww. It was nice. What more he's really here to celebrate our 8th yr anniversary together? Sigh... wondering, what could be the real scenario then.

I was watching this show from Velvet channel, "The Bachelor", and one second i see myself teary eyed because of the situation. The guy and the girl had a very very intimate dinner date. The palce was full of white balloons, even the walk way itself, full of baloons, then the guy gave out his present, a D&G diamond earings. Shoot! how sweet was that?

I came to realize how seldom Onie and I had a romantic dinner in the past. I actually couldn't remember any instance we had one. Oh! that would be our first ever date when we were still a kid. Hahahaha! we had a lunch date at Racks and it was ok. nothing special happened. Wala lang I just want to experience a romantic dinner, a date, or something to cherish in the future.

Oh well, for now, this is one of the sweetest thing he did for me. :) I'll see you soon hubby. I miss you badly.

Cold Summer Nights - OO nga!

It’s been cold summer nights since we drifted apart
Cold summer nights since you walked out that door
Cold summer nights… oh, here on my own
Coz I miss you baby, I need you here


Shet! Sumasakto nanaman!


You know, just everyday, I have this feeling of being alone. Alone shopping, alone going to the spa, alone going to the mall, alone eating, alone savoring my triumphs, and alone dealing with my sorrows. I'm too depressed! I'm kinda like memorizing the feeling of being alone. Am I fortunate of being one? Or do the situation itself keep on shouting at my face that I'll be dealing with this for the rest of my life. Sounds pathetic? I know!

I can always look for somebody else to replace him. That could be the usual thing to do for those normal peeps who are feeling this kind of burden, but I've been sticking to this all through out because it's my own choice. I couldn't see myself making the same mistakes again, for I know, a crime wouldn't be dismissed by filling in another crime. I admit I already had the urge of eyeing some, i did it once, twice or even thrice, but I ended up telling myself not to pursue things because it would only make my life more miserable.

Sometimes, I feel I'm running out of time. This is because and I'm very very thankful, I still got my job to feel in some activity with my lonesome life. But, after taking a lot of risk, and ended up successful with projects and work, came myself hanging with questions. I still got the means of thinking why am I doing this to myself? Why am I doing all the work and earning self respect from other people? What are my goals in life now? What are my real priorities if I'll be dealing with my everyday life alone and miserable?

oh life....

The One

My other half, my best friend, my shock absorber, my star, my only one, my beloved, my hubby, used to become my hunny and baby, my bee, my soulmate, my ever loyal boyfriend, my man, my love, my reason of living, my life, the one who i wanted to live my life with for the next 100 years of my life.. my eternity...

Happy 8th year anniversary. You mean so much to me that no one knows how exactly what I feel for you. I love you hubby. You rule my world!

Random Thoughts

I do not have anything in mind right this moment, but I had this urge of letting something to blurt out, something that i wanna write about even without thinking of anything to write. i don't have biggie problems, nor having issues from my past but there's this... ahhh i don't know... just come with me and hear me blow... :(

There's no particular thing that makes me upset right now, but i'm kind of you know, sad and not feeling okay. i really don't know why. Prolly, this could be the emptiness once again. I feel so alone. Well, yea! Literally, I'm alone in this area that's why I had the guts of blogging again. I don't have anyone to talk to, to take a break, or even to have a stick of yosi down stairs. There's no one in here, that is prolly the reason why I'm upset.

I woke up really early a while ago. Earlier than the usual waking hours i used to do before. Somewhat, I like the feeling, since I didn't had a hard time going to the office without my cousins accompanying me to get a ride. Just so you know, the vicinity where I live right now is not so nice that someone should come along with me going to the office or at least up until I rode a jeepney/cab/fx. After logging in YM, I went to the pantry and let coke subside my thirsty throat. (Could it be the reason of me being so weird now? because instead of coffee, i chose to drink a glass of coke? hmmm..) So I proceeded to my unfinished tasks yesterday. Late last week, I loved the feeling of being busy because of work. My drive for work was really strong then. Just after this weekend, all turned out the other way around. I somehow, do not know where to start. I got tons of tasks to do, but nothing would be accomplished prolly today because I do not have drive for work. Sad, because part of me wanted to finish all these before my boss arrive from abroad trip...

Tasks accomplished before blogging:
1. Read/Answered all important emails
2. Went over shop4teeshirts again. Revised 4 pages.
3. Submitted articles to article submission.

Wow! Great job! I thought I wasn't working at all.

*my phone alarmed!*

Now, I have the means of blogging! WTF! It's our 8th anniversary!

Time Check: 11:44pm 16 mins after, the date will be April 10, 2008... Now, I understand why I am upset, seriously, I while ago, I do not have any idea why I have this kind of feeling. Kaya naman pala. :(

I miss you hubby.. happy 8th year anniversary. Whatever you're doing right now. I want you to know, how much I miss you. See you soon. :(

So, all in all, hubby and I were together for 2,920 days now. Let's continue the count down...