Could I be fallin for you?

I'm done with some emails and already did an important report today. Sent to my boss as well :) Goodjob for me. My mind is still wrecked and my head is fuckin spinning. I really need some sleep though. So what I did was to check out our hot nurse from the clinic and ask if I could stay for an hour or 2. YES! I did get a rest for just an hour. Now, I'm trying to contemplate what to do. My sleep was bitin and the food I asked Aisa to buy for me from greenwich sucks to death! Why the fuck the branch of greenwich here in Ortigas is like that? Weird and such a waste! Baked Macaroni is always been my fave order from this chain, hence, I always forgot that this fastfood branch here doesn't give a rewarding services compared to what we have in our town. Oh well! I'm starving so I need to fill some food in my stomach so I could be kind of useful here. haha

Just recently, I'm hooked with this some dude. I didn't expect this shits to happen this soon. I don't know if we are going beyond our limitations but what the f, we're having the best time of our lives. Don't just the world give this moment to me for once? I've been battling for someone before for the fuckin longest time. I did everything for the sake of love. Nothing happened. Like zero updates. So I was thinking, yea, it could be because it's not for me. He can always be a part of my past. The past that made me stronger now. The past that taught me tons of lessons. The past that was been a wonderful 9 years of my life. I don't want to regret anything from it actually. And I'm not this 100% sure that it's already done. Yes! technically, we're done. We're through. But there are a lot of things we need to talk about, that is when you are free. So as I always tell you.. Once you're free, look for me. Let's talk. And decide what to do next. I won't promise anything beautiful now. What could I just say is... Be brave, face the reality. You've come this far. I know, somehow, God will grant our wish. Now, I still want you to know, my ultimate wish is for you to be free. Still my number 1 prayer and you can count on me with that buddy! :)

A big smile for this some dude. Good morning sweetie :) I know you're still snoozing and enjoying my hot pink sheets in your bed. I have thousand words to say right now. LIke what I said, you're not giving me an idle time to think, to reminisce every single moment we are sharing. You always see to it that we're together having this cloud nine feeling. First of, I want to thank you. Thank you for putting back the smile in my face. The real smile that was gone 3 years ago. I didn't plan anything like this... But you surprisingly came and give the best out of me. I told you so many things you change about me since the day 1 we started. And I didn't expected things to be like the way it is now. Everything was quick. Everything was amazing. Everything seems to be perfect. Now I know what the hell you were talking earlier, na natakot ka bigla. Natakot ka for a moment na baka bigla nalang ako matauhan. I can't react on that now. Give me some time to think. This came from you. And I had goosebumbs when you said this.. "Meron tayong habambuhay para patunayan sa isa't isa kung ano tong nararamdaman natin. relax. ienjoy natin bawat oras na magkasama tayo. Ang mahalaga kung ano nararaamdaman natin ngayon." -- MISMO! OO nga naman. Tama sya. Kaya chillax. I'll sit back, and enjoy this one hell of a ride. :)

I couldn't help but spill my lil secret with you. I see him in you. You are actually a walking clone of the man I used to love. You talk like him. You dress like him. You act just like him. Your dialogues were exactly the same. You were making me insane! The fuck with my past. It's fuckin haunting me! Everywhere I go I can see or hear such... how do you fuckin call that?? premonition could be? LOL Whatever you godamn call it! But yea, I hear Chito Miranda everywhere, ex's been texting and askin why the fuck I dont have time seeing him. What's up with me? and why the fuck I don't have any text or whatsoever?

To tell you the truth... I wanna scream like hell! I wanna curse this goddamn situation why the fuck it's playing around with me? Can I just be happy for once not thinking of anyone else around me? Just me. Ako lang. Walang iba. This is not being selfish man... All my life, I gave myself to the one I love but I didn't get anything worth it in return. What I got were the stress and shits which I actually embraced and tried to fix once in a while.

Now what I hope is to give me some time to relax. Give me some time to cherish this new chapter of my life.. A lot from my friends were crazy to hear stories about this some dude. And I'm excited to introduce him in time. Sat isn't a best time mga chong. We could have re-sched it and I tell you it'll be worth the wait. :)

4 days isn't enough for me to know and be concrete with my decision. But you made it easier for me to think of what to do. You didn't force me at all. You gave me all the time to choose whatever path I need to cross this time. You weren't selfish and that is love. You weren't arrogant even I always compliment you. YOU HAD ME WITH THOSE SMILES. YOU HAD ME WITH THOSE UNLIMITED KISSES. YOU HAD ME WITH THOSE TIGHT HUGS. I couldn't forget the perfect feeling when I'm with you. I don't want to go anywhere else but beside you. I feel so secured. I feel loved. I feel you so much. You were incredibly a gift from above. I must say. I don't know. But if this shit doesn't work out, let me tell you this.. No bola. walang halong charing.. Those 4 days made me a real person again. No kiddin. Sobrang saya na hindi ko mabibili kung san man. Before Friday came, I was feeling fucked up because of my canceled Hongkong trip. Now I realized, hah! What happened for 4 days were certainly uncomparable to any vacation I could ever gone through. Now, let's try this... Come, be with me. Let's share this ride together... :) Missing you bunch!

PS. I promise I'll work tomorrow like hell. Come on! I don't have sleep yet. Tomorrow babawi ako. Pati ikaw igogoodjob moko! :) Good morning again! :)

Dream House

When I was a child, I used to clean our entire home. I love designing rooms and arranging my mother's furnitures. Now that I grew up, still I fancy houses. I love the feeling of seeing cozy places so I want my own place a cozy one. Someday, I know I'll have a home to call my own. I wanted it not that big but functional. Stylish but something traditional or contemporary. What I want is actually a cozy place, very relaxing and elegant. I can't wait to have my own home to design.

If I'll be that rich and single (LOL), I'll definitely save my moolah on building an elegant house somewhere in Tagaytay. Where I could call a weekend house. Somewhere I could run to whenever I'm down. Some place I could hide if I want to run from the crazy city. And ofcourse some place I could invite most of my few best friends over for some catching ups and drinks.

Here are some pieces of living rooms I wanna copy someday...

Elegant and stylish Kichen

I don't have any talent in cooking. Onie's actually fond of delicious dishes, so he's into cooking and all that. I'm just into tasting and pigging out some junks. HAH! I want to learn but I'm not ready yet. Yes! I know I'm soooooo tamad. Coz I don't like the feeling when cutting onions and garlics. I hate washing the dishes. I scream whenever I fry hotdogs and fishes. I don't want cooking rice. I don't like serving food. Only thing I can do is to arrange the table setting. There, you can trust me in that chore. ;)

The Dining Room

Everything below is a wow for me. Like OMG! I want that! I'll be very fat mom if I'll stay in that kind of dining room. Well, for I know I won't have a big family someday, so yea, that's impossible I'll have some long tables like those. A four seater table would be fine for me. ;) The first pic, isn't a dining table though.. But I still love it to death...

Spacious Bathroom

I know these are imposible for me to have, look at that... Oh my, I could just stay there all Saturday and have a bubble bath. Onie promised me a house with Jacuzzi though. hahahah. take note okay, not a tub... A jacuzzi. He's not kiddin anyway. LOL

The Master's Bedroom

Finally, the master's bedroom. I want it to be white or something like neutral colors only. For now, if I'll have my room redecorated, I want to color it bloody red and have a light yellow lamp. Very soothing and calm. But when I'll have my family home, I'll have the master's bedroom colored white, and the furnitures could be white as well. I don't know, I just want it that simple and clean. Plus, I really want to have that curtain like around my bed. I feel like a princess somehow while sleeping in there. :)

Rooms for my little ones...

I got tons in my list, but these are my favorites. It's fun and cuute. I love them so much. I wish I could really really fix rooms for my babies just like those. These are really inspirations pics for me to copy in the future. :)

I know I'm being exagg here. I know how expensive it is to have a place like these. Well, if you're really aiming for something... You'll do everything just to get it. As for me? I'll work my ass off for me to achieve it. :)

Time for me to snooze. Have work later! Boo!

Some thoughts in my mind...

I miss you so much.... I want to see you now... :(

Tarot For The Day

... and here it goes:

Today, you have Strength on your side and the World at your feet, aiza! Your
charm is working overtime and nobody can resist the charisma you’re giving out.
You might be tempted to abuse this talent for seduction to get what you want
from friends or lovers. If it works – so much the better for you! In the
professional context, you are in an ideal position today to put forward your
ideas and present your projects to the people that matter. Strength and the Pope
put you in the right frame of mind so that you can defend your ideas with
courage – but not without the required dose of finesse and diplomacy. The
sincerity and kindness that you radiate have every chance to win over most
people.

LOL. Actually. It is kinda true! Last sat! I had a blast and it was a sweet saturday night! KASO.... DUh? my title says.. "Tarot For The Day" Saturday ba ngayon? BOOO! LOL sige na consider na yan! CHOS! haha

I Love Saturday Night with Friends

I know weekend's over again.. Can we like have 5 weekends and 2 weekdays instead? Just for a change? And for that, I'll take leaves on 2 weekdays for I'll have a complete 7 days vacay. HAHAHAH!

Ok, I love my work and I need a job to earn for a living.. But hey! I'm having the best time of my life now.. I just wanna go out and have some fun fun fun nights...

Last Saturday, we celebrated the homecoming/birthday bash of Brent! How cool your party was dude! It was a blast! You've just invited the half of Soldiers Hills homeowners! LOL Kidding! Well, the crowd was crazy and Brent's guest occupied 2 long tables. At first we're not having a single conversation for yea, it was a bit.. hmmm how do you call that? overwhelming? God, Central was crowded that night.. And I must say, I saw tons of aquaintances. (Prolly that's why there will be Central Muntinlupa soon, they knew Central was a click for Soldier's peeps... they're bringing the place here! YIKES! that would be eeeeekkk ahahha, i can't say any word. haha)

So here's the captured moments:

The Girls while waiting for the rest at Starmart. That's Karen, Me, Km, KT, Sarah Carmi and Tim (Shorts kung shorts sabi ni Malou! Malou, we miss you!!!)

The party just started. Perfect, Karen was there. She's one of the best bud of Sarah and she's a mum already. I know, she's stunning!

That's just one long table, the other one's in the left. Lupet mo Brent! nabasag mo ang lahat! Apir!

Para sayo Patrick! Welcome back! CHEERS!

That's Roman and Sarah Mae... Basag na kame. Alam ko. we're about to go home na..

Vanot dropped by, Brent Patrick was one hell of a popular hunk guy! LOL Lahat kaibigan nyan. So ngayon magdusa ka! Painumin mo lahat! LOL Totee wasn't able to stay long... She went there, but she only bought 1 picher of Badboy. She's with other set of friends from phase 3 and some 2 dudes from Fortufino... I think they chilled out at Petron or at the guy's crib...

With Pao! Sa Feb, ikaw naman papainom... Pasado o hindi, magpainom ka hoy! hahaha.

Carmi Mae :: Aiza Mae :: Sarah Mae

Sarah and Aiza with the hunk dude, Brent Patrick :) Thanks dude for the treat! Sa uulitin.. Yellowcab and Beer. This time, at Sarah's crib. PANGAKO MO YAN! :D

And yea, that's me... off to getting drunk once again... *hik*

You got to be kiddin me

Yesterday I went to my doctor for my ff check up. Had a good and bad news. Well, I'm still completely fine. One thing though, my wallet will get hurt for sure. haha!

So anyway, having the procedures with the nurse, she got my BP, my pulse rate and my current weight. Holidays just passed so I am feeling so fat... I keep on ranting in my twitter account that I think I gained weight. I really feel it since yea, my body's heavier compared before the festives. And to my surprise! WOAH! I only weigh 84lbs. WTF? Srsly?

I didn't go to work today :( I'm feeling dizzy and sleepy. Prolly because of the meds I'm taking. Damn! I shouldn't be drinking booze since I'm in medication. FUDGE! That's what I'm saying! I don't want to see my doctor for I know my social life will get ruined! hahaha! Silly me! Hmmm.. So what am I gonna do now? Well, I don't know, prolly I'll just order calamansi juice tonight at Patrick's Welcome Home Party/Birthday Bash. Oh well, let's see til I post some pics here...

Got to go now and make myself healthy! haha! I'll have a walk outside. Excercise? Come on! Not for me! LOL

PS. Sorry boss, not my intention to be out of the office today. Blame it on my meds! :D

On the brighter side

I wasn't that drunk when we celebrated the New Year. I was with Totee's friends, suddenly Pj drop by.


Happy 2010 Buddy!

The next day, January 1, we had a family reunion at our house with the Britanico clan. Pics were uploaded in Totee's FS account.

I had a reunion with my HS batchmates last January 2. It was successful! I was one of the organizers. It was great seeing old faces again. Reminiscing the past and laughing with all the craziness we had way back then. 10 years have passed. And here we are now...

We weren't complete though. But still, we didn't expect those number of people who came. Our 1st honor, 2nd honor and 3rd honor were there, plus the notorious boys and maaarteng girls. Of course my group of girls were present except for Kyana. She's sick that's why she failed to come. 2 batchmates from Germany and HK came. I was shocked when I saw Tim Yapjoco that night. It almost made me cry. I miss O when I saw Tim. They were magkababata talaga. So he was actually asking a lot regarding O. I wasn't able to drink too much. Super steady lang. Me and Via were like the bouncers that night. LOL. Mga pasaway kong batchmates, kabisado ko na kayo sa totoo lang. It was memorable indeed. I hope we could do it again some time in April when Don arrives for his wedding.

The next day, January 3. I watched 'I love you, Goodbye' with Martin at Shang. The movie wasn't that deep but it made me cry. Damn! Too much emotions suddenly occured when Derek said, 'give me another chance'. I can barely open my eyes. I want to run and seek for O and tell him, let's get back together. Yea, I was that pathetic. O and I are still on a break. We miss each other. But lke what I said in my letter to him, we can't be together yet. While you were there, continuing the relationship is non sense. Let's see what might happen in the future when you're free. If I'll still be single then, let's get back together. :)

After which, we headed to Linden Suites for Sofia Jae's shower party.

Congratulations to Daddy Arman and Mommy She for a succesful shower party. We can't wait to see baby Sofia as well!

Apc friends were there plus my inaanak Lila. Dyahe I forgot to bring my gift. I didn't know she's coming eh. I'm happy to see my friends again. Building their own family and others were having strong relationships with their boos. I hope 2010 will be a memorable for all all us. May God bless us all. Happy 2010 everyone!

Now, let's get back to work! BOOO!

How's 2010 treating you so far?

Me? It's actually frustrating but I must say, still surviving. We needed some help, prayers actually. My cousin, ate Mich had an operation in her ovary then with her intestines. The next thing we knew, the doctor's telling her oldest sister she got a Cancer and it's stage 4. The whole Denina clan was down and feeling helpless. We couldn't see one of our family is suffering from illness. All we need is prayers, so help me pray for my cousin.

Another trial came, this time with my Britanico fam. Kuya Jay's son is in ICU right now. The kid is one week old I think. The lil child is under observation. We really need prayers.

I am still taking meds. I do hope I'm okay now. Well I'm trying to be okay. I hope it's going to be fine soon. I need to see a doctor again, I hope my time permits me. No scrap that! I'll find time. I promise!

So help us God.

2009 Recap

We're done with holidays. Later I'm back to work. I don't know but I still can't believe 2009's over. It's like nothing really happened there. I mean, talking bout my personal stuff only. Of course I know there's a lot of things happened last year, Ondoy and all the unexpected tragedy before. A lot of my friends got engaged. Some had their babies as well. Some had to part ways and some stayed single. As for me, am still hanging in here. No idea what will happen next. I'm not sure if this is quite good or bad for me. I don't have any plans or resolutions. What I know is that, I'm just making myself ready and calm for what might happen today, tomorrow and in the next days of my life.

2009. What can I say about it? Nothing actually. Wasn't really good for me. I guess 70% of the time last year, I was in my low point. I feel totally depressed and 25% most probably was the time I really felt the real happiness. I'll give the 5% part to where I actually felt so-so. Like wala lang talaga. Tipong wala akong pakelam, un lang. Here's a re-cap on what happened to me last year:

January
Don and I been textmates
I wanna get out of the relationship but yea i still love him to death

February
Still living in Pasig
Super shopping
Tatu in the picture
We had our first break up attempt
She's Wedding at Tagaytay
BORA Baby!

March
Moved in with Pot
about to fall for Don
Anawangin shit

April
crazy with conference thingy
Totee's Grad
Pansol Celebration with Britanico and Denina
9th year anniversary with O
I changed my Blog's URL
Cagbalete Trip - Ang beach na walang tubig. Ano daw? LOL
I told O about Don, we had a big fight. We almost called it quits
O threaten me :(

May
I got my part time job with Naxos

June
I got myself a laptop.
Got my hair rebonded
Oge's Birthday at Canyon Woods, Tagaytay
June 10 - O surprised me with Buttered Shrimp, Chanel wallet and ice cream. Sweet.
I had my twitter account
A guy from the past said HELLO

July
Solar Eclipse

August
Cory Died
Starting to hate Tatu
I thought O will be free
Had a simple birthday celeb for O
First time to try Pepper Lunch at ATC
Ended my contract with Naxos

September
Joy's Wedding
Sofitel Experience

October
Ondoy
Pepeng
Had a thing with the guy on my past
At the same time I'm beggining to miss Tatu if he's not around
Irene went home.
Pansol Getaway
Aileen and I had a fight over Don

November
115th Monthsary :(
Went to doctor for check up
We broke up
I learned I got some virus. I'm actually sick.
Started taking meds
Double Bday Celeb Central Party with KM Batch 2001
Pj's trying to hit on me again
Shat with the boys at Tony's (Second Bday Celeb)
Bday celeb with my Fam
Bday celeb in Aplaya Alabang with my Batch (ilang party pa?)
Martin started to court me again I think
O sent engagement ring, I ditched him
This some guy started to flirt with me til now

December
Steady Christmas
Still taking meds
Martin's Bday Celeb at Central Madison
Christmas Party with HS Girls
I got my passport. YAY!
Christmas Denina Reunion at 18th Ave
Party with Cousins at Serve Bar
Christmas Party with Batch 2001
Didn't go to work on last day of 2009
Went to St. Lukes, ate Mich was confined. She's srsly sick