can you call this fun-fun life?

Hmmm... Could be. I suppose.
Am still partying of course!

Though I've been acting like as if I'm a superwoman of my company and my family, I still find time having fun with my friends and colleagues. Here are some of the captured moments during the times we are having fun..


Ok.. This pic isn't a party or something.. This is my team and we took a break over these yummy cereals. We headed off to "cerealicious" at Robinson's Galleria where my boss's treated us for some dessert. Mind you, he's one of the owner of this so-called store and yeah, they got tons of branches all over the metro. OK. I know I look haggard on that pic. LOL


This pic was taken when we were patying at Carbon Bar. I was wondering why I got no beer at all. LOL. Well, my colleagues for sure had fun especially T and A. LOL. They were the ones who have partners at that time. As for me? I took the exit door earlier than usual and managed to rest at my crib and planned to go home at south the next day. (I know I'm a lil boring person today compared before. LOL)


Party at Achie's Bar. A's bf had this Nocturnal Party and most of my team were invited. It was fun though, wasn't that really into gimmick nowadays, my shift doesn't permit me so this gig thing made our morning a lil better. There were body shots, a lot of booze, dancing in the ledge, picture moments and many more..


It's Aisa's bday. We had pizza, food from bancheto and trance music for our background during working hours. Boss was not around so yea, we were not that pressured to work. LOL


There, with my college friends, i super miss them. Not having a single sleep at that time, after visiting Onie, I had the means of going back to the condo and had a bath then I headed off to Decades Metrowalk to be with my batchmates. Was kinda awkward feeling. Wasn't able to drink all night though I am in the mood to drink, my body couldn't take the alcohol am suppose to be drinking, so I what happened was.. I left them at 12:15am... really too early..





Hah! I can say.. I have to give myself a break. need to party more often. I'm only 24 and I should say, I have to make my life fun and exciting in some point.. after all, I know I deserve to be happy..

I wonder where will I be this Saturday? Hmmmm.. I'll keep you posted if there's gonna be a fun fun night or morning or which ever.. :)

the shits of life

I pause from working and I start thinking about you. And it always left me a touch of sadness. It occured to my mind that once I'm dealing with work stuffs, I promise not to think about you, at least not that often than I used to. There's a heaps of tasks to do, fast approaching dealines to think and a tons of responsibilities to handle. In fact, I still lack time and am really hoping to give effort on these other stuffs that I want to accomodate as well. Aside from work, I wanted to allot time and energy with my friends, family affairs, some other hobbies such as reading (yep, until now haven't finish "can you keep a secret" novel from Geni. LOL what can I do? I have no time at all..), shopping, movie marathons, et cetera.

Thinking of whatever I am dealing right now, imagine how stressful I am having these so-called life style, you still manage to get into my system and play over my mind. You fill my awareness of every memory in our past. I can still remember every piece of our once-upon-a-times, on how your hands landed mine, every sms and phone calls, and heaps of dine outs we used to have. I seemingly reckon, you are such wonderful part of my past. And now, I continue to imagine what life could have been if you're still present and a lot of what-ifs going on in my mind.

Prior to that, Shellie and I had this talk about priorities in life over one stick of yosi, before you came into my thoughts, I was thinking of yeah--what are my real prioroties to be exact? I unconsciously say, as of the moment, it's more on my savings in my bank which is actually zero balance and I must say, this sucks big time! It wasn't my fault if I still need to help out my 'rents and wanted to spoil my siblings for whatever they wanted to have.

The moment we enter the lift, I had this bubble over my head which includes thoughts of my real priority and I think that is the reason why I still have the guts of living in this goddamn world. I actually lied to Shellie referring what's the real deal of me being in the office and continue what the fuck is up to with my everyday shit! My real priority is not the money, it's not the fuck up career, it's not my family either, it is infact, I am still existing and ready to face the consequences of life ahead of me because of you. I am waiting for you. I am waiting for your existence here in my so-called world. I am wanting your presence with every single day of my life.

There was once a friend who taught me of some things about moving on. On how the process works and how you'll go through the process itself day by day. What he said was all reasonable enough for me to get my own life and be ready for different opportunities ahead of me. There's a lot of surprices about life, not only you! At that time, I was like--yeah! That's true, that's even cool, I shouldn't make my self stucked up with such crap which really made my life worthless for almost two years. But then again, as I reached home, I had no one to talked to, I again realized.. NO! Life is about him and me being together and continue taking things slow, remembering there's-a-rainbow-always-after-the-rain just like what the song says! Shit! what's happening with me. I couldn't afford to decide on what should I focus on.. Life without him or continue embracing all the shits we are dealing with?

Darn it! Now am thinking, Forever is not real.. sigh.. :(

...

I wanna make an entry about you..
ang angas mo.
kahit pilitin kong alisin ka sa utak ko..
patuloy ka paring natakbo
pabalik pabalik..

hindi ka ba napapagod?
kakatakbo sa ulo ko?

kase ako pagod na..
pwede bang umupo ka muna sandali.
tamang chill lang..
wag ka masyadong magulo sa utak ko
kase nakakahilo ka sa totoo lang.


ayoko na ituloy to.
nababagot lang ako.
naiirita
nayayamot
kase
sa buong araw nato..
puro sama ng loob ang nakamtan ko.

ikaw ba? anong nangyari sa buong araw mo?
im sure.
chill ka lang jan.
panay ang hintay kelan dadating ang food mo.

pero kahit gantong asar na asar nako..
gusto ko paren ikaw ang makausap ko
ikaw makasama ko.
sa oras nato
gusto kong umuwi sayo.
makita ka
at makipagkwentuhan sayo.

sana makatulog ako.
uwi nako.

iniisip mo kaya ako sa mga oras nato??

Here We Go Again

Everybody can attest how I changed from happy-go-lucky employee to super-hardworking fat ass! At some point, I am happy and proud of what I am now, although at times, I still feel I’m kind of nincompoop when I am talking to him. Lemme just clarify this—Yeah! He said I’m good but not great, he appreciates my effort but what he needs is the output. You see, I’m not superwoman here or scientist, or magician, or freakin God to be able to finish everything in one sitting. I know he’s not pressuring us but I feel like he is. This morning, as I browse on my email, I landed on his message asking... aside from what I am doing now, how can I boost my leads? I was like… Huh?

I wanted to say…

If I have new ideas on my mind now, I wouldn’t waste time delaying on that. If I think I still have the courage of doing something to boost leads, I won’t let you waste time asking but I’ll have the initiative on doing it on my own and let you know once it was accomplished or whatever the status will be.

Don’t get me wrong. I love him! He’s cool, he’s perfect, he appreciates what I’m doing, he appreciates my existence here, but I just don’t understand after having a meeting with him yesterday morning, he’ll gonna pop me a question like this?

But still, of course, I should know where I stand here. I am just bloody subordinate who should follow and make things possible if he wanted something to accomplish right in time. I completely understand his situation. He is just excited for us to hit the 100 per day lead for fr*e search. I know once we reach that quota, he’ll be proud of me, he’ll be proud of us. Last week, we had 99 per day lead. With that, he wanted to push all our projects and work double time on all strategies we’ve been doing for ages to reach 100 asap.

This is what he said…

“Make no mistake about it --- that one more per day is the hardest to get and we DO NOT WANT to fall short.”

Can you feel the pressure too?

As for now, I have to seek help from Mr. Google how will I answer his bloody Q.

OH MAN GIVE ME A BREAK! :(

She said I do

Yea, I told everyone about my bestfriend who tied a knot last Friday, 08/08/08. I know, perfect date! I suggested it by the way. For some reasons (like Feng Sui reason LOL), I actually planned having my own wedding on that perfect date, but ofcourse, it's impossible because I don't have a groom yet, so I decided to give it to my bestfriend.

I had to take a leave on my Friday shift last week, I know I'll be a lil (okay not lil I'm actually UBER) drunk, so yeah I skipped work even I have heaps of tasks to do on my list--boss oblidged! OK! Sure, you're the BEST! The best part? I left my cam. haha! Goodjob! Well, Carmi brought hers but hell I want my own copy ofcourse! I arrived at 2pm. The wedding started at 11am. Good God! I am sooo late i know! The food was great! The people? hmmm. I know 'em all, so it's not that great (well am actually secretly expecting new faces to see), and lastly, I didn't have that FUN fun feeling.. Did you get it? BECAUSE I DO HATE HAPPY COUPLES remember? LOL

On the serious note, I happen to see these newly wed fighting over something, so I butted in, since, I am the bestfriend and this guy happens to be my cousin-like (his my bro's wife cousin, yeah really small world!). My girl gave a look that she was so pissed so I went over and asked what the hell was going on in the middle of their wedding reception. She told me that she just caught his hubby smoking bakes (AGAIN) in the comfort room while she was entertaining the guests! GRABE! I was disappointed that I grabbed the groom going outside far from the guests and asked him what the fukc was his problem why the hell he wanted to screw his own wedding?

Expected as it is, he was in his slow mo mode and he's not responding to whichever I was asking. He just gave a grin and tried explaining with his mischievous look. I pity my best bud having a not so glamorous wed (every girls dream of having one right?) and having that kind of scenario in her wedding day.

The only thing I told them both was...

"You were both responsible with each other, you (pointing to the girl) knew from the very start that he was like this (smoking weed for years already that do not have plans of quiting anytime soon), but still you chose to marry him. You (pointing to the guy) knew that she was nagger in some point and really hard headed at times and yea, still you opted to marry her. No one forced you both to get married. We even told you that getting married is not a solution of getting her pregnant. If you both don't feel like getting married at first, you have your own choices on your end. This is your own choice... so why the hell you're both ruining this special day of your lives? To tell you the truth, I was so envious with you guys because finally you were able to make it. You ended up with each other, I was hoping me and On*e would be given a chance to be happy too and be together, getting married, and I was bloody hoping that that day would be today. You are both lucky having each other, so I must tell you guys to grow up because after this day, it'll not be like the normal days you usually encounter in the past. It's gonna be different world! Another challenging stage of your lives. Another wonderful story to cherish. And you have to stick with each other, because from now on, you are counted as one."

I got stoned drunk. I don't know how many songs I sang from the videoke. I started drinking at 4pm and ended at 10pm I guess. Then we headed to Tagaytay to have this famous bulalo soup. Nahimasmasan din ako sa wakas.

Ok it was fun. Fun, like our normal inuman session. But yea, I have to admit, that day was different after I realized we had that inuman session because they tied the knot. *sigh

I feel so...

Goddamn FAT PIG today! Fudge!!! I dunno, it's just that, I am not liking what I see in the mirror. This evening, when I am about to go to work, I wore my khaki high waist shorts and cute brown top. Accessorized with nice necklace and jelly flip flops. So I went to the dirty kichen to drop my used clothes in the hamper. As I pass where Totee was busy watching the telly, she shrieked like hell, "Ang TABA mo MADAM!! Eeeww! Erase Erase! Magpalit ka nga!"

Sigh.. :( I feel so FAT and unhealthy! I do not like this! I guess, I have to minimize coke, sweets, rice (fuck) and junk foods! Need to take exercise to get rid of these fats! Damn! This is super hard!

But I have to. :( Shitness! :(

I wish I was..

Disclaimers: For haters, take the exit door please...

I was feeling kinda sleepy working in front of my pc, so I decided to take a nap instead inside the conference room. Luckily and I was surprised, there's a queen bed available located at the corner of the room, as if it was inviting me to come over and take a good nap or rather have my goodnight sleep instead of finishing my tasks for the day. Since I am too dizzy and feeling so exhausted, I oblidged. This room is actually new to me. I am working here for 3 years already but this is the first time I was able to enter this so-called private or should i say, "secret" room. While I was half asleep, I somewhat feel someone's beside me. Since yeah, I just wanna take rest, I didn't mind who the hell was this someone resting next to me.

The bed was so soft, the aircondition was cold, the sheets were nice which really helped me to relax my dog-tired body. In short, I was having a cool and proper sleep.

Suddenly, there's a hand started moving towards my flesh. It went all over. I didn't mind. In fact, I was loving the feeling. I turned around to see who's giving me such pleasure, then I saw her, very familiar face. She, the one I misses whenever she's out of the office. She, the one who makes me laugh all the time. She, the one who's very proud of loving the same gender as hers. She, the one who sits beside me. Yes, she! I didn't know she have the guts of doing it. I was shocked at the same time flattered!

My phone alarmed. It's 2:00am already. Shoot! I am just having a freakin hot dream! damn! I thought it was for real!!

Somewhat I am thinking about it. Why would I be turned on with that kind of dream? Could it be... I am lesbo by heart? Oh I wish was.. LOL

Idle Moments

Last time we had the means of taking pics because boss wasn't around. LOL Since we have new members in marketing dept, I'd like to introduce them.

(From left) That's Tricia, me, Mich (Eng), Aisa, Alfred, and Lyndsay. The one who took the pic was Lily.


That's Aisa, Twisha and moi.
We 3 get along. We're all kikay by heart and by soul I guess. LOL Aisa and me were the same of age while Twisha's four years younger than us. Thus, she's the tallest amongst us three. Aisa's funny and when I say she's funny, I mean she'll go crack you once you reached your station up until you logged out from biometrics. I love it when she's around. So meaning, I am feeling so incomplete since yesterday for she took an off because she was soo sick. Aww. I hope she'll be fine really soon. She left an offline message from my YM and she'll not again report for work today. Yesterday, her temperature was 40 and now it's sitting on the 38th. woah! Poor Aisa. I just miss her. Lily, Twisha and I yesterday were like soo focus in work. We noticed we are soo serious because Aisa's not around. I do hope she'll be fine by tomorrow so she could get back to work and be with us again. But yea, if she still needs rest, surely, I'll let her. (wow boss?) LOL Twisha on the other hand, is our dear baby here in the office, she's the typical timid-shy-naive type lass which everyone loves. (not because she's the one giving the prizes for Repeat Rewards Program... but I think yeah, that's big factor LOL) Twisha, like me, is in a long term relationship now. She's been going out with her boo for 7 years but I guess, it's not worth it. This is what I always tell her.. explore, have fun, you don't need to get stuck up with one guy, after all, he's not that worth it and she's aware of that too..

So there, we've been playing around the camera as if noone's working around us. LOL. I miss you Ais, get well soon.

xoxo,
A

LOL

Somebody Walked Into My Life

... and he's right on time.

yeah.. im currently here in cloud nine blogging about what just happened. I am feeling mixed emotions. Happy, embarrased, sad, delighted and wonderful. I didn't expect things will go like this. I know it's pretty fast. I know it's awkward, i know it shouldn't be like this, and i know you might be able to read this. With all honesty, I do appreciate all the kindness you've been showing me all this time. (hehe i hope you're not sick and tired everytime i say this. But yeah.. of course, i really mean it.) You didn't know how exactly I feel everytime I see you online. Your morning greetings made my days even brighter, you helped me see what's the literal meaning of "brighter side of my life". Now I have the guts of planting a REAL smile on my face. You keep on saying how thankful you are knowing someone like me, but the real deal was, I'm more than overwhelmed knowing someone like you. It was true indeed, God gave us our guardian angels here in earth to guide and somewhat protect us all the time. You are my secret guardian angel. You might not be able to do that literally but what He just planned was let you guide me seeing another phase of the world. You tried to explain how to loosen up a bit. How to deal with the world differently. Seems like I'm a bit exhausted with my life before you came. Now, I am able to laugh out loud for real. I don't exactly know what are my real reasons (but yeah, I think you're aware of it in a way.)

I wanna thank you for making me see what i don't see. For going the extra mile. I mean, one second you're a total stranger, now you're one of those people who I could trust and I could turn to whenever I'm feeling freakin' down. Before, you were wonderin' if i blogged about you? I certainly wanted to explode at that time, but I just chose to keep it within myself. It's just that... I know for sure, once I let it out, everything will totally change. Probably, it'll be a big mess. Hence, you reacted the other way around. Big thanks for being too nice.

I hope, things won't change as what we have started. I can guarantee you, I can always control this thing I have for you. I wont go beyond this, I promise.

can I just finish this crap with another lyric from a random song in my head...

...You brighten my day
Showin' me my direction
You're comin' to me
And givin' me inspiration
How can i ask for more
From you my dear
Maybe just a smile in your heart...

Terrible Monday

Monday really sucks for me. Wasn't in the mood to go to work. Am not sick nor tired, am just bloody lazy to go to work and what is the worst part? I am bloody trying to be in the office before 12mn so i could get the perk of 3K at the end of the month for the attendance bonus. Since I arrived 1:05am today, haha, again for the 2nd time, definitely 3k will be out of my reach. darn it! :( so there...

Monday sucks big time!