Excited for BORA!

What should I bring in BORA trip?

Here's my check list:
Swim suits [check]
Dress for the mornings [check]
Flip Flops [check]
Shorts [check]
Tank Tops for Night parties [check]
Sandos [check]
Accessories [check]
Shades [check]
Bag [check]
Lotion [check]
Sunblock [check]
Toiletries [check]
Small towels [check]
Jacket [check]
Undies [check]
Losta Money haha! [check]
Make ups [check]

WOW! I'm done! and I'm sooo ready! OMG I can't wait. I'm so excited! I've been browsing the net for Lauren Conrad, Whitney Port, Heidi Montag and the rest of the chicks from "the Hills" for summer get ups. Also, I love Lyndsay's closet and Of course Blairs' wardrobe. But she's not into summer attire so yea, it's more appropriate to check out the "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills" style!

Here's what I got!

Here are some tips from Polyvore Stylist!


yellow/blue - by angelie. ♫ on Polyvore.com


ITS A PINK SUMMERR! - by EMiLY [ M&M GuRL ] on Polyvore.com


summer 2009 - by KAMILKA on Polyvore.com


Summer Mix Tape - by MarianaBrazil on Polyvore.com

This is my Style:


Summer Style 09 - by Aizeee on Polyvore.com

...and I don't want to go to bed mad at you

With our 8 years of togetherness, prolly we had only 2 fights which we didn't fixed on the same day. (Which really suck to death!) I really can't sleep having an unfinished prob with my boyf. It's killing me inside. A lot of questions going on in my mind that turns me awake till the next morning, so to make this shitty short, we tend to patch things up and arrange all arguments as necessary as possible.

I do know that this practice is healthy for all relationships. Dealing with fights is very common to all couples and I am possitive that it'll get more serious than we thought if we'll not sit with it through the day.

I am glad that my man had enlightened himself a bit. He's more mature now handling relationship probs than before, though he couldn't do anything but to wait ofcourse, since he can't extend his effort by you know, say, sending flowers, fetching me from work, giving such sweet nothings thru texts, et cetera. I know for sure, if he has the opportunity to do that, he will and definitely it'll make my heart melt. What he do now is to try harder to understand my point even we both know sometimes I am sooo pointless. hah!

Yesterday, I couldn't make it to work. (again!) Dealing shits with him and we almost called it quits! Sigh. One of the saddest days of my life. I am so hopeless that I walked away and said, I fuckin hate you! I am done!

Sniff

I went to my nephnews for me to stay calm and sane. I cried to death and my big sis understood where I was coming from. She realized how I love this man, so she obliged when I said I'm going back and try to resolve things. And so I went back to him.

He was really sick, I didn't realize how much he is suffering. I was upset. So I said sorry. He hugged me, say sorry as well, and I forgave him. We are now okay and he gave a letter which he made after my lil drama walking out in that stupid place. I read it with heart, I was kinda hurt. I cried once again and I'm pretty sure he was hurt that's why he made something shitty like that, which I undestood again.

So, what I learned yesterday was to control temper. Better practice this, than seeing myself cutting myself. Weh? OA! haha!

ungguy ka!

Me: Umalis na ba kayo kanina, paguwi ko?
Some Dude: Ang ganda mo kanina... shinare ko lang..
Me: Ayus ah! wrong window boi? sabi ko umalis na ba kayo nung umuwi nako?
Some Dude: Ay ako oo umuwi nadin. Sila nagstay pa. Sabi ko nga ang ganda mo kanina. Para sayo tlg yun.
Me: Ayun. mapangbola ka tlg no. Baka maniwala ako tanga!
Some Dude: Wow ka kase e. Kala mo lagi kitang binobola.
Me: Hay nako. tinext nga kita kahapon, kase napanaginipan kita e.
Some Dude: Un. tlga? siguro nga yayain kita magdate kaya nangyayari yan.
Me: LOL. wag ka na. Baka umasa ako tanga!
Some Dude: Ang taas mo kase masyado e. Baka di kita maplease. Di kita maabot.
Me: Wow ako pa tong mataas. Di ba maabot ung natambay sa tindahan kasama nyo, isang biskwit at isang pop, samahan mo ng sang marlboro lights, solb an araw ko. Un ba ang di maabot? Siguro dahil kapatid lang talaga tingin mo saken boi. Pero if yan ang nararamdaman mo. I wont take it personally.
Some Dude: Hehe
Me: Un sabay hehe nalang nasagot mo.
Some Dude: Natulala kase ako sa sinabi mo.
Me: Wag nating ipilit kung hindi naman tlg. masaya naman ako ng ganto e.
Some Dude: Basta pag nagkawork ako. Susubukan kita!
Me: =)) un ikaw pa sumubok e no. dun ako natawa. LOL Tado ka lang! ako pa mahihiya no?
Some Dude: Di. Seryoso nga. muntik nga ako mainlove sayo kanina e.
Me: Haha!
Some Dude: Un sabay haha nalang din sagot mo!
Me: E anu ba dapat?

Biset!

Kung ikaw e nanligaw dati pa. edi sana tayo na. magulo utak mo e. tapos papatulan ko pa. edi ano pa nangyari saten nun. baka gaguhan nalang, ganun. di naman ako naghahanap ng seryosohan sa ngayon. siguro tamang gusto ko lang maramdaman ung pagcacare ng isang tao sa oras na kelangan ko. ung pwedeng makatext ko. makausap ko any time na gusto ko. ikaw sana un. kaso may mga doubts ka na hindi ko alam kelan pa nagsimula yang doubt na yan. ano yan, dahil ba sabi mo, naaawa ka saking nakikita mokong ganto. na sayang ako kase baka naghihintay ako sa wala. nanghihinayang ka ba dahil sana ako ang nasa piling mo, o tamang naaawa ka, dahil tinuturing mokong tunay na kaibigan mo.

Minsan naiisip ko, tama ba sila dahil sabi nila swerte ni O n i e na andito ako para sa knya. So ano ako? Malas? dahil sya pinili kong hintayin? dahil sya pinili kong mahalin? E kung hindi ako maghihintay ngayon, meron bang ibang dadating? napakahirap magrisk na baka ako lang din naman tumanda magisa. na baka magmistula rin ako kawawa at magluksa. Siguro mabuti na tong may hinhintay kahit di siguradong may hinihintay. Kinabubuti nito kase, nararamdaman ko kahit papano, ung pakiramdam na gusto kong maramdaman kahit isang beses lang sa isang linggo. sabihin nyo ng tanga ako. mababaw ako. mababaw ba ang pagkakaintindi ko sa pagibig kung ganun? hindi ko alam. pero un minsan ang hinihiling ko. ang meron makasama sa oras ng pagiisa. Nde madali ung ganto na sa bawat oras ng buhay ko e nagiisa at kadamay ko sarili ko. mabuti pamg naging lalake nalang siguro ako. mas madali siguro magcope up sa sitwasyong ganto. Kung lalaki ako. andami kong gustong ligawan. LOL. kase alam ko kung sino ung matitinong babae na dapat siniseryoso at di ginagago. Madami sa mga kaibigan ko. Kung lalaki ako. Liligawan ko sila. or paparamdam ko kung pano atleast sumaya. Mas madali siguro kung ganun no? Kase alam ko kung ano ung pakiramdam nila bawat isa. Alam ko kung pano iplease ang babae, tulad ng gusto kong gawin saken. Madali kung ganun. Sana nga naging lalake nalang ako. Kung nagkataon. Liligawan ko sarili ko!

LOL bakit hinde?

Taena! Walang kwentang post! Nyeta

Sige ano? pagtapos ng YM natin kagabi hanggang 3:00am, ngayon magtetext ka kung nakauwi nako.

Please wag moko pahirapan. Wag kang maggaganyan. Akala mo nakakatulong ka. Pinapagod mo lang ang puso ko sa pag asa. Katangahan ko, mistula naman kase akong umaasa. :(

Hindi naman pala natin gusto magshopping no?

LOL


E anu to? Hahahaha! Bakit ba? Nagkataon lang na may natripan kame sa paninda! Bawal bang sumaya? hehehe!



Kumain sa Ineng's. Sarap dito I swear. Parang bahay lang. nasira diet ko e. 1.5 rice. ano pa? SArap!


So hindi naman ako halatang napagod no? So sige pa! tara! Shopping pa! hahahaha

Shattered

God knows how much I am praying for this. I can't start working my ass here. I'm absolutely paranoid since yesterday. I didn't know how did I managed to sleep, for I know before that, my mind's occupied with something else. I'm very very positive and I'm very hopeful things would get better anytime soon.

I'd be grateful to know what happened yesterday. But since his dear sister wasn't able to reply on me even once, I might do the honor of discovering what the fuck really happened.

Current Status: Still crying for the result... Oh Lord, help me.

Continuation to newlysqueezed's blog

From her entry, "walang kwentang post.. stress".. My name was mentioned that I was all dressed up and obviously there's a reason behind it. Haha! Yea, it's kind of true that that day I was really up to something since I am actually hoping I will have a lunch date with somebody. Somebody, who’s been so nice and sweet to me, but for some sort of reasons I tend to say NO with his first attempt on asking me on a date. What a shame on me after I ditched him, I suddenly realize that I wanted to see him in person, really! I was disappointed then. I couldn’t fathom myself why in the hell I am afraid of seeing someone else. It doesn’t mean I’m going to cheat or something right? Probably this could be because I do respect my man so much. I couldn’t see myself enjoying some moments while him sacrificing the hell out of that place. Now, I’m thinking of how I could reply on this dude’s texts that would simply tell him, “alright, let’s do this and meet up for once”. LOL. It’s awkward for me to ask him myself for another date. This is really confusing. When was the last time I felt this feeling? That is the question which Jaydee threw to me last time. And I was stiff to answer back. He’s right! I wasn’t confusing all my life until this dude popped me a message asking for a lunch date or what. Hahaha! One of the kalokohang YM Jaydee and I had been this:

J: Itext mo na kase na OO date na kayo!
A: E dude quote lang ung text nya
saken sa ngayon e
J: Ganun ba?
A: Pwede ko bang isagot sa quote e… “Yes,
sure. I’ll meet you up at lunch. 11am. See ya then ”
J: =))
hahahahahahhahah! Tado ka! Naisip mo pa un?
A: Naman! O di kaya magcompose
ako ng isang text. Tutal quote pinapadala nya .. Quote din sasagot ko.. tipong…

“Kung naturn down ka one time sa isang date…





…Pwede ka naman magtry ulit kinabukasan.





Sure! Yes na sagot nun sayo! Try mo ngayon.. Game!

J: taena! =)) nasolb mo araw ko. Gagu ka!
A: Buti naman hahahahahaha
=))

I was trying to think what to do next after our conversation then… But I didn’t bother to start the conversation. Last night, I mean, earlier, when I am waiting for my alarm, I got a text message from him…

Dude: Hey?

What a crap. Just that! I didn’t reply. LOL I don’t know how to respond. Luckily, I need to leave my celly at home. I’m going to visit my man after shift. With that, I do not need to think what to reply with his text. Silly me! I know! But the thing is… I need not to worry about me cheating on my man. After all, I am not desperate of having an affair with somebody else.

Till next time 
A

Tips for Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
** Aww. I'm not into wlaking. I'll pass on this. But yea.. I SMILE :) a lot.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
** I sometimes see myself sitting in silence more than 10 minutes each day. This is when I am working my ass off at the office. Would that be counted? Haha!
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
** check!
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
** OK. will try to practice this.
5. Play more games.
** Like what? I dont have PSP> How's that? LOL
6. Read more books than you did the previous year.
** Err. Am not a book worm. sorry.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
** Meditation (X) Yoga (X) Prayer (CHECK)
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
** I would love to do this! :)
9. Dream more while you are awake.
** TRUE!
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
** Wow! Tell me about it! ;)
11. Drink plenty of water.
** AMEN!
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
** For me? Make it 5 :D
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
** Err... DND. BIR Mode. LOL
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
** Oh Ok.. Sorry babe, I was just reminding you things that should not be done in future, that's why I keep on reminding you bout it. :) Aryt, let's forget about everything in the past. Let's start all over again... :)
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
** Great! I'll try to practice this one too.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
** AMEN!
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
** HAHAH! I'm on a diet. I'll pass. haha
18. Smile and laugh more.
** SURE :))
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
** Haters, take the EXIT Door!
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
** But ofcourse! I'm a big JOKE right?? LOL
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
** APIR
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
** Hmm? Totee? hahaha.. I'll think about it first. ;)
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
** Oh ok. I didn't know this is not good. Prolly what is up with this number is that... mind your own business! Just that!
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
** I know!
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
** :) ok.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
** I told ya!
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
** Hopefully!
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
** Weh? hahaha! di ren!
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
** Correct! Trash 'em
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
** BOW
31. The best is yet to come.
** I know!
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
** yea. and mind you... be fabulous! :)
33. Do the right thing!
** C'mon! you know this is not easy..
34. Call your family often.
** I always do. :)
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
** I am.
36. Each day give something good to others.
** Sure.. From now on..
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
** Ok. I'll try..
38. Share this with someone you care about
** AKEI. :)

one day..

When all I could do is to pamper myself...

After shift, I headed to NuStyle Salon for some pampering. My plan is to have a good massage from ate who has the greatest gift from God in taking care of people's body aches. It turned out me having ...


BODY SCRUB


BODY MASSAGE


LOREAL PROTEIN HAIR TREATMENT

I went home 4:30pm. It was long hours, fine with me. I was able to relax. :)

Sad

Lately, shopping's been my hobby to avoid thinking about me being alone literally. I am trying my best to deal with the fact that I can not take waiting for him this long. Every time I travel my way to the office, I often imagine things about the past, present and the future. I kinda got goosebumps every time I foresee what might have been if I ditched him right then when we had a row last 2 years, or what could have been if we’re really meant for each other and will get married right after he’ll be dismissed. A lot of things going on in my mind, that sometimes, I opt to not think about because it makes me sick and will might be the reason why I couldn’t make it for work. Sad, that I couldn’t open it to anyone now because I just don’t want to. I have this feeling that people are all fed up with all my rants and I couldn’t afford losing them because they were all sick and tired of me. So, I’d rather keep it within myself and burst it here in my personal space. Lucky me, I found my very own best friend here in the cyber world—BlogSpot. I am so much in pain right now. I do not know what to do to overcome this feeling. I want to die sometimes just to end up the routine I’ve been dealing with for the past 2 years of my life. I wish one day, I’ll just stop ranting about this shit.

missing piece

I miss you babe so much that yesterday, I found myself bursting into tears and whispering your name. I wished you were here beside me. I wasn't able to sleep well.

Miss you so much. :(