Two at a time

Boy next door, good boy look or super straight A man is a no-no for me. Trouble-maker-slash-row-4-type-of-a-guy actually turns me on. It may sound weird, but yea, I treat them as a challenge to my boring life. So in my 26 years of existence, I happen to meet guys who has different personalities and I was hooked with 2 unlucky men. These guys are not actually the best people I ever met in my entire life. In fact, they are full of flaws and dillemas. Prolly because of their imperfections why I fell in love. :(

One day I'm happy. Next day I'm sad. My life's been a roller coaster ride lately. The only thing I'm wanting now is a simple living with someone who can appreciate and love me the way I am. Well, I guess I have someone like that now... Truly, I am blessed with 2 men who are ready to face any circumstances in life just to be with me and marry me when time permits us. I don't know if I am lucky having them. They can be my strength, my happiness and my world.

R - We've been friends since I don't know but he's a schoolmate from HS. I'm one year ahead of him. We are not that close before, we don't talk too much. We seldom crack some jokes but not to the extent of having a 30 mins conversation. We just see each other during inuman sessions. I've been hanging out with his batch because of Sarah, my childhood friend. Sarah's husband, Rj is definitely close with R that he happens to be a ninong of R's son. Yes, he's a dad and he got a wife not until they broke up, five years ago. R and I were dating for almost three months now. I don't date other guys at the moment aside from him. We didn't plan of labeling this relationship to anything that is complicated nor serious but it just happened when we see ourselves enjoying each other's companies. We meet almost everyday. Eat dinner together mostly everyday. I got a chance of meeting his entire clan except for his dad, having a new family now and his mom who passed away when he was still in HS. His cousins love me so much, even his neighbors do. His friends miss me whenever I'm not around. I'm not bragging on how much everyone in his life votes for me to become his last wife, but yea I really feel how do they appreciate my presence. I can't blame myself for enjoying this kind of situation. I didn't felt this way when I was with O, my ex. R is such a darling. Lately, he wakes me up because he doesn't want me to come in late for work. But still, being hard headed and because I'm having a hard time breaking up with my bed (LOL), I am not able to make it at 8am at work. He cuddles a lot, he sings for me, (btw, he's a bassist) he doesn't forget to say goodnight and i love yous each time. He's too malamabing that I can't resist of seeing him every single day. He wipe outs my boredom and gently massages me to ease my body pain. We're always on the phone and he loves how much I love talking and talking about random things. I love everything he's up for me but of course R is not that prince charming everyone is eyeing for. He got tons of flaws that I myself hate to admit he's into that kind of situation. First and fore most, as I said earlier, he's a dad and he's legally married. Even I wont spill some of his fault here, being married is a biggie deal for me. But since I'm up for introducing this new dude in my life now, I'll continue with my ranting :P ... Well that's the first. Second, his work is not permanent. But I don't actually see that as too negative in his part. I know R has a potential of looking for a better job and is capable of having one. Third, R is just like O, he's a g@nja man. He smokes to death before, surprisingly he's about to quit now. His last smoke was when Patrick is still here, that was? last 2 mos ago? I'm not sure. That's a goodjob! Fourth, he a drinking master. He's drunk everyday when we are just starting of. Now, he minimizes his drinking and I'm quite impressed! QUITE! I still got tons in my mind but hey, now I realized he's trying to change for a better person little by little. That is really amazing!

O - I don't have much words to say about O coz he's been the topic here in my blog ever since I started. Everyone knows everything about this man. He's simply my life. My world. My other half. I love him so much.

I know this set up will not work at all. Im not having an affair with O anymore but my heart and my mind still belongs to him. That's being unfair with R. I can't deny the fact of being inlove with O everytime I'm with R. He still feels it by the way. I hate this situation but I can't find a way out from here...........

My life is effed up once again.