Sad

Lately, shopping's been my hobby to avoid thinking about me being alone literally. I am trying my best to deal with the fact that I can not take waiting for him this long. Every time I travel my way to the office, I often imagine things about the past, present and the future. I kinda got goosebumps every time I foresee what might have been if I ditched him right then when we had a row last 2 years, or what could have been if we’re really meant for each other and will get married right after he’ll be dismissed. A lot of things going on in my mind, that sometimes, I opt to not think about because it makes me sick and will might be the reason why I couldn’t make it for work. Sad, that I couldn’t open it to anyone now because I just don’t want to. I have this feeling that people are all fed up with all my rants and I couldn’t afford losing them because they were all sick and tired of me. So, I’d rather keep it within myself and burst it here in my personal space. Lucky me, I found my very own best friend here in the cyber world—BlogSpot. I am so much in pain right now. I do not know what to do to overcome this feeling. I want to die sometimes just to end up the routine I’ve been dealing with for the past 2 years of my life. I wish one day, I’ll just stop ranting about this shit.