...and I don't want to go to bed mad at you

With our 8 years of togetherness, prolly we had only 2 fights which we didn't fixed on the same day. (Which really suck to death!) I really can't sleep having an unfinished prob with my boyf. It's killing me inside. A lot of questions going on in my mind that turns me awake till the next morning, so to make this shitty short, we tend to patch things up and arrange all arguments as necessary as possible.

I do know that this practice is healthy for all relationships. Dealing with fights is very common to all couples and I am possitive that it'll get more serious than we thought if we'll not sit with it through the day.

I am glad that my man had enlightened himself a bit. He's more mature now handling relationship probs than before, though he couldn't do anything but to wait ofcourse, since he can't extend his effort by you know, say, sending flowers, fetching me from work, giving such sweet nothings thru texts, et cetera. I know for sure, if he has the opportunity to do that, he will and definitely it'll make my heart melt. What he do now is to try harder to understand my point even we both know sometimes I am sooo pointless. hah!

Yesterday, I couldn't make it to work. (again!) Dealing shits with him and we almost called it quits! Sigh. One of the saddest days of my life. I am so hopeless that I walked away and said, I fuckin hate you! I am done!

Sniff

I went to my nephnews for me to stay calm and sane. I cried to death and my big sis understood where I was coming from. She realized how I love this man, so she obliged when I said I'm going back and try to resolve things. And so I went back to him.

He was really sick, I didn't realize how much he is suffering. I was upset. So I said sorry. He hugged me, say sorry as well, and I forgave him. We are now okay and he gave a letter which he made after my lil drama walking out in that stupid place. I read it with heart, I was kinda hurt. I cried once again and I'm pretty sure he was hurt that's why he made something shitty like that, which I undestood again.

So, what I learned yesterday was to control temper. Better practice this, than seeing myself cutting myself. Weh? OA! haha!