To cut his lil tantrums and shits, I obliged to sleep over at his crib. I don't wanna elaborate what really happened but yeah, everything/everyone including him made me so pissed. Just to end the conversation I said yes to drop off his place because that's what we planned the day before. But in mind, I am just going to get all my stuffs and eventually leave him permanently. I had enough that time. I am pissed and about to explode! I'm not even liking all the things he's doing, even he's making lambing and all. I am close to shouting at him but I still managed to control my temper. Anyhoo, we fixed the fight. Even I know this isn't working, I still hang on, not for my own sake, but for him. Don't get me wrong, he's a good man. He's a changed one actually. I'm proud to say that. But it's not enough. It's not also good to change for someone else, I'd be happier if I knew he's changing because he wants to, for himself, for his future, for his family. I know it's kind of confusing now.. Why the hell I'm still here, hanging in the situation? Well, I really can't say. I don't know how to handle this now. :( I'm not afraid though, until he whispered to me last Friday, while we were about to sleep.. "How can I start without you?" There, I had goosebumps. I didn't planned anything like this. I feel sorry for him. :( Until now, I know we're not okay.
We didn't even had dinner last Friday. After the fight, we slept til I felt my stomach aching. He woke up as well and had brekky at Sinangag Express. We both had Tosilog and Sprite. Then we went home, this time in my crib. We are going to my cousin's Wedding. Totee was a secondary sponsor. The travel time was too long for the church was located at San Mateo, Rizal. Man, I wont go there again. Srsly! The traffic was horrible.
Here's some captured moments from the Carlyn's Wed:
The wedding was okay. I pity R for driving that long. The reception was at Max's Restaurant San Mateo, Rizal. The service was awful. It made the event such a wonderful one because of the bonding. Deniñ@ Clan was really awesome family. :) After, we even went to Carleen's home to continue the happenings. Shat ng redhorse and videoke forever. I initiated to go home at 11pm. Everyone followed. We arrived home at 1:25am. It was indeed a tiring day. R slept over to my place.
The next day:
I woke up at 8am. Prepare some brekky, longganisa, jumbo hotdogs and sinangag. R cooked actually. I only gave him a hand :) When the food was ready, I called my siblings so we could eat all together. That's my fave thing on earth to eat every single meal with my fam, unfortunately my parents weren't home. They're in Bicol until Tuesday. After the brekky, my sisters and I helped each other with the dishes. It's kinda hard not having a maid now, so please to all my readers, if you know someone who's willing to be a helper, PM me, call or text me, basta inform me. We really need one. Seriously!
Kelly, Pong, R and I enjoyed watching Matanglawin in my room. At 11am, I asked R to drive me to the wet market for our Lunch. R cooked sinigang na buto-buto. :) THanks babe, for always making me fat! LOL At 4pm R left for practice/gig at the same village. And that's the moment I had my ME time. First, I went to Nai'egance Spa, for footspa and pedicure. The service was great, it costs Php 299. Not bad. Then I headed to SM Muntinlupa for facial, I went to my favorite place, Flawless to have the service, unfortunately and to my surprise the store is not there anymore :( I was very disappointed. Yes, it took me 4 mos to visit the place again. I don't have much time for pampering myself now, so I am really really upset Flawless isn't there anymore. Wondering where did they branch out? So I went to Dermstrata Skin Clinic and Spa instead. The facial there was cheaper than Forever Flawless, it costs Php435. I don't have bad things to say about the service though. I really need facial, I am contented so I wont say any bad comment.
I went home and had dinner with R again. We send my sister's family home. On the way home, R and I weren't talking at all. We both know we have a misunderstanding and we just opt not to talk about it. We don't want arguments now. I can't accomodate fights as of the moment. We slept together again. We didn't talk. We know in our hearts we are not okay. We still hugged each other while sleeping. I woke up really early a while ago, like 5:15am. Managed to prepare for work that early for I have an 8:00am meeting with my boss. R accompanied me til Buendia Station. There, we part ways. I didn't plan of leaving my celly but yes, I don't have it with me now. Prolly it's a sign and God's intention to give both of us a space to relax, and have our me time. No calling and texting all throughout the day. Let's see what's the deal til my shift ends.
I arrived really early here in the office, like 7:20am. Goodjob for me! The meeting was cancelled. It's okay. :) I hope my shift will turn out good :)
For now, I thank him for driving us in my cousin's wedding. Let's talk some other time. Take care of yourself. :) By the way, while I was sleeping next to him, I had a bad bad dream. I hope it wont happen. Really :(
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