Changes

A lot of things have changed lately, and I'm pretty not use to it. Knowing me, changes--it makes me a lil sick. Remember my blog about "the cafe mocha thing"? Yea, things in my life are actually steady, in so many ways. When it comes to work--almost 5 years baby! Talking about love life--man, I gave all the 9 years of my life! Yea, I'm that stupid, or probably I should say again, I'm afraid of constant changes. I'm longing for comfort zone that I'm use to, and now I learned it's all bullshit. I should've done this before. I should've stop being afraid of what might have been. I'm not an organized kind of person, I actually don't plan ahead of time. I don't have this bucket list I should experience before I die. I am just a simple girl who live in my simple world that actually wanted a simple yet lovely life. I only need a real happiness. Been battling for it for the longest time. Been waiting for it to happen. Been seeking for it for almost everyday. It has been a rough and cool 26 years of ride, now I decided to stop and think of changes..

7 days from now, I'll step out of this building bringing all my stuffs with me. Yes, I resigned from BR@Nd3rs. And it happened so quickly. The process was 3 days only! Can you imagine that? Aisa, my dear friend here decided to move on and she did it when I was out of the office. I was all stressed out when I heard about the news, the next thing I knew, I was giving out my resume to an ex-officemate. I was a kind of nervous doing that. Yes, I know I planned of leaving this company for quite some time now, but not this soon. I got tons of pending things to do at that time but my mind was telling me then, oh screw it! Leave and let it go! There's so much life out there! So yea, I made a decision. I'm leaving.

Lucky me, same day I gave my resume to an ex-officemate I got a call from the HR inviting me for an interview for the next day. I obliged. To make the long story short, I got the job! And it's waaay better than what I have here. Thank good God! Goodbye graveyard, goodbye team, goodbye boss, I WAS NICE, working with you! LOL No, seriously, it was nice working with all of you here! I'm glad I was part of the team and thank you for that almost 5 long years. I learned tons of shits and stuffs! Indeed, THANK YOU!

On the other hand, love life's been so-so. We had this kind of what-the-fuck-are-you-trying-to-break-up-with-me-again issue. HAH! I am feeling so young when I'm with him. We're like highschoolers ya know. I got to experience tons of first times with him. But for some reasons, I'm again feeling afraid of letting him go. I told ya before, he's similar to ex. But this guy, I think, is getting worse than ex. We've been dating for only a month now and I must say, I need to ask for his secretary's permission to talk to him so I could have his full time with me. LOL yea, this guy is busy knowing he's still not working full time. Last week, he went to work once. DAMN! isang beses lang sa isang linggo! He's drunk last Monday, Thursday and last night. OK. I should have drive him to rehab i guess. I have so many issues why the fuck I can't stand him at times. I am trying to control my feelings because I don't want to fall in love but I guess I am. And this sucks! I can't seem to find a replacement for On!e's position now. I know this new dude is not the one. He isn't. He will not be. ever. :( and I'm sad he can't be. sana sya nalang, kung pwede lang.

Life's too unfair, why do we need to bump into each other and see a potential in this relationship if we all knew this might not work in the future. why the fuck? it's getting confusing and desperate again.

Now, I'm all back to the thought of seeing On!e nalang.. Babe, you come home, be here as fast as you could. please.. :(