The Countdown's Soo Over

I didn't see this coming, I was hoping for the best until I recieved a godamn message from her sis telling me that the hearing was fucked up and needs to re-sched on January 28, 2009. My world literally fell down and I got a chance to burst out. It's frustrating too much that I need to take a rest and gather few of my friends then asked them for a lil support and company. I didn't work last night, that's why I'm here at home and since I am feeling disoriented and unfocused, I am now awake though I haven't had enough sleep yet.

I'm not happy that I had to wake up and rant again for the nth time regarding my oh-so-cool love life. I don't have plans of waking up. It would be better if I'll be gone for a while (or for life), or at least save myself from this unbelievable nightmare. I'm not really into taking pieces by pieces, I'm not ready for any changes, I'm even sick and tired of waiting, I could possibly kill myself because of this hatred I am feeling right now. i just couldn't understand why the fuck all these things are happening.

I'm all tired and crazy about stuffs regarding him. But why the hell I can't stop myself from caring? I myself don't know how much I love this man, I could die for him, I can do whatever shits for him, I can somehow make things possible even for other people its kinda weird. Before I was thinking, I'm doing these because I know it's all worth it. Now, I don't have any idea if this will work out. I am dumb! I FUCKIN know!

It's been a while since my last post about updates of my life. I couldn't find time to blog. Also, there's nothing new to share. No excitements and what I'm currently doing was waiting and waiting for the result yesterday. And now, evrything was clear. Clear enough for me to burst out everything! AM I DOOMED TO FAIL? shit this crazy life! I'm afraid to face another chapter of life without him totally. I don't know what to do, I really am frustrated and miserable. :(

redhorse isa pa nga! :(