A gift for myself

I didn't get myself any gift last November, my Birthday. I just had a blast with my million friends. Throwing parties--that was I think my gift for myself. I'm not a typical person who would make myself happy by means of material things. Having people around me, having a nice chat over some drinks, catching up, bonding and getting drunk til morning... That would made my day. Yes, I'm that shallow. I don't even got myself anything last Christmas as well. I'm not a techie person too. I don't have the courage learning on how to use new stuffs. haha! Too lazy. But now, while everyone is busy with their own lives. People got tons of plans because it's summer now. My life had been twisted for quite sometime... I don't know who else to turn to. One Wednesday afternoon, I found myself buying something for myself. Wasn't that pricey, but yea.. it's awesome!

Hello, Samsung Star! :)

Leaving me...

I am not in the mood for work. I don't like going to work. I think I'm about to quit. I'll miss ipac. I don't want her to leave. I'll miss her definitely. Seems like there's no reason for me to go to work now. I don't have many friends in the office. We weren't that uber close. But she's one of my buddies here and it'll be different once she's gone. :(

I need some frap now to lighten up my mood. Something that would make me smile, better if I could see you. Yes, you...

Would you mind?

Wag mokong iwan...

Yan ang sinabi mo bago natin ibaba ang telepono.

Gusto kong sundin ka. pero ano nalang ang buhay na gusto mong mangyari habang kasama moko. I've told you this so many times. It's not always about happy life. We have to face the reality babe. Yea, I'm happy when you're around. I feel so contented when we're together. I feel the joy I am looking for. We are actually having the best time of our lives. But, it's not what I really want if we'll look into the deepest side of this relationship. What we have is for short term basis. You don't have any plans at all. What you're trying to show me is the present. Just that. No plans and all that. We can not continue this with that godamn scenario. You told me that's you. You're actually trying to show me the real you. OK i get it. I can accept the fact that you are totally ruined. Your life is such a mess--What I see, is what I get. Babe, you can't say I'm afraid to enter such life like yours. My past was worst than you ever thought of. I was in hell and I somewhat embraced it with my whole heart and soul. My past didn't become a hindrance for me and ex to continue what life's treating us. I didn't gave up easily. I didn't stop. What I'm trying to imply here is that... You can't say I can't handle this situation you are into right now. You're saying you're such a waste, you're full of crap, and I'm just the only right thing happened in your life. That came from you and I suggest you should grab this opportunity since I'm still around. Help yourself. Try to fix yourself. I can't do this alone. You need to compromise. Things aren't that easy. No one said living life is godamn easy. This is your second chance babe. I'm not doing this for this fucked up relationship. I'm doing this to help you. This is for you. I'm not even thinking of myself anymore. I'm used to it anyway. I know I can handle myself. I know you need someone like me, but for the love of God, help yourself. No one could fix yourself but YOU. I'm just one of the instruments here in earth to help you. It's not yet the end of the world. God is still giving you chances. Grab 'em. I hope you've learned tons of lessons from your past. I can't fix this alone. You have to be with me..

Let's do this one step at a time. Stand up and face the world. Fight and live life to the fullest. We could be happy at the same time functional. Do not just sit and relax. There's so much into this world that we need to encounter. We're just in our half of our lives. Or prolly we haven't started yet.

You can always count on me. I can stay as long as you want me to, but please try to show me you're willing to compromise. I've done my part babe. Do yours. From there, let's see what will happen next. I hope you really mean when you say you love me.

Think about this cliche:
Kailangan moko kase mahal moko, o mahal moko dahil kailangan moko?

I'll give you time to think. Get back to me when you're ready... I'm just a text away. You know where to find me babe... :)

Miss you too.

Images I got from Tumblr

Yung totoo? MISMO!!

San bako dito? hahaha! Funny! IT? Bantay ng net cafe? Medtech? Drug pusher! hahaha! Yan yan! Management naman tinapos ni ex. di naman medtech! LOL Wow masccom, bugaw? Totee! Alam na! hahaha
Of what? well, srsly? I AM! :
He just did :) ♥ Thanks babe :) ♥

Super thanks! ♥
this is waaay too sweet :) ♥

LOL for this! haha

Panoorin ko kaya to? I like Kimerald though.. They're really look cute together. :)

Ouch! hahaha! Iritang irita ako sa ganyang mga sagot na K. LOL. Try mo lang isagot saken yan. ewan ko nalang. LOL

E yung ang emo neto? Pero syang tunay! NYETA!
LOLLOLOLOL hahaha! Taena! wag kase kayong mangelam! LOL
HAHAHA! sorry na! gravy palang ulam na e! Only in da Phils!
YUN NAMAN! Boom!
Me wants this now na!!!!

Not a good start

I missed my inaanak's 3rd Birthday. It was an emergency. Kelly's at the hospital right now. :( I hope he'll get better soon. Ninang Damba's missing you lil boy. :( I'm so sad for Kelly's condition. :(

So I have 2 gifts for Lila now. My gift last Christmas and now my gift for her Bday. Was wondering how will I give her these? Hmmm...

On the side note:
I'm not expecting too much from this new relationship, but yea, I can see some consistency going on. I thought we'll not surpass a week or two of togetherness haha. But now, we're still here.. I don't know. But sure! I'll hang on. Stay calm and be with you as long as you want me to stay. As long as you think we're okay. As long as we think this is going to be fine... I'll stay. :)

I'm missing On*e though. I finally had the guts of visiting him earlier. Oh I mean yesterday. I was too brave to face him. I even told him what's going on with me. :) He asked me why do I need to tell him where infact he doesn't need to know because we're through already.. Well I have so many reasons why I went there...

~ I miss him
~ I want to know what's going on with him
~ I want to ask how was the case
~ I just couldn't hide it, yes! I still love him. DAMN!

Could I be fallin for you?

I'm done with some emails and already did an important report today. Sent to my boss as well :) Goodjob for me. My mind is still wrecked and my head is fuckin spinning. I really need some sleep though. So what I did was to check out our hot nurse from the clinic and ask if I could stay for an hour or 2. YES! I did get a rest for just an hour. Now, I'm trying to contemplate what to do. My sleep was bitin and the food I asked Aisa to buy for me from greenwich sucks to death! Why the fuck the branch of greenwich here in Ortigas is like that? Weird and such a waste! Baked Macaroni is always been my fave order from this chain, hence, I always forgot that this fastfood branch here doesn't give a rewarding services compared to what we have in our town. Oh well! I'm starving so I need to fill some food in my stomach so I could be kind of useful here. haha

Just recently, I'm hooked with this some dude. I didn't expect this shits to happen this soon. I don't know if we are going beyond our limitations but what the f, we're having the best time of our lives. Don't just the world give this moment to me for once? I've been battling for someone before for the fuckin longest time. I did everything for the sake of love. Nothing happened. Like zero updates. So I was thinking, yea, it could be because it's not for me. He can always be a part of my past. The past that made me stronger now. The past that taught me tons of lessons. The past that was been a wonderful 9 years of my life. I don't want to regret anything from it actually. And I'm not this 100% sure that it's already done. Yes! technically, we're done. We're through. But there are a lot of things we need to talk about, that is when you are free. So as I always tell you.. Once you're free, look for me. Let's talk. And decide what to do next. I won't promise anything beautiful now. What could I just say is... Be brave, face the reality. You've come this far. I know, somehow, God will grant our wish. Now, I still want you to know, my ultimate wish is for you to be free. Still my number 1 prayer and you can count on me with that buddy! :)

A big smile for this some dude. Good morning sweetie :) I know you're still snoozing and enjoying my hot pink sheets in your bed. I have thousand words to say right now. LIke what I said, you're not giving me an idle time to think, to reminisce every single moment we are sharing. You always see to it that we're together having this cloud nine feeling. First of, I want to thank you. Thank you for putting back the smile in my face. The real smile that was gone 3 years ago. I didn't plan anything like this... But you surprisingly came and give the best out of me. I told you so many things you change about me since the day 1 we started. And I didn't expected things to be like the way it is now. Everything was quick. Everything was amazing. Everything seems to be perfect. Now I know what the hell you were talking earlier, na natakot ka bigla. Natakot ka for a moment na baka bigla nalang ako matauhan. I can't react on that now. Give me some time to think. This came from you. And I had goosebumbs when you said this.. "Meron tayong habambuhay para patunayan sa isa't isa kung ano tong nararamdaman natin. relax. ienjoy natin bawat oras na magkasama tayo. Ang mahalaga kung ano nararaamdaman natin ngayon." -- MISMO! OO nga naman. Tama sya. Kaya chillax. I'll sit back, and enjoy this one hell of a ride. :)

I couldn't help but spill my lil secret with you. I see him in you. You are actually a walking clone of the man I used to love. You talk like him. You dress like him. You act just like him. Your dialogues were exactly the same. You were making me insane! The fuck with my past. It's fuckin haunting me! Everywhere I go I can see or hear such... how do you fuckin call that?? premonition could be? LOL Whatever you godamn call it! But yea, I hear Chito Miranda everywhere, ex's been texting and askin why the fuck I dont have time seeing him. What's up with me? and why the fuck I don't have any text or whatsoever?

To tell you the truth... I wanna scream like hell! I wanna curse this goddamn situation why the fuck it's playing around with me? Can I just be happy for once not thinking of anyone else around me? Just me. Ako lang. Walang iba. This is not being selfish man... All my life, I gave myself to the one I love but I didn't get anything worth it in return. What I got were the stress and shits which I actually embraced and tried to fix once in a while.

Now what I hope is to give me some time to relax. Give me some time to cherish this new chapter of my life.. A lot from my friends were crazy to hear stories about this some dude. And I'm excited to introduce him in time. Sat isn't a best time mga chong. We could have re-sched it and I tell you it'll be worth the wait. :)

4 days isn't enough for me to know and be concrete with my decision. But you made it easier for me to think of what to do. You didn't force me at all. You gave me all the time to choose whatever path I need to cross this time. You weren't selfish and that is love. You weren't arrogant even I always compliment you. YOU HAD ME WITH THOSE SMILES. YOU HAD ME WITH THOSE UNLIMITED KISSES. YOU HAD ME WITH THOSE TIGHT HUGS. I couldn't forget the perfect feeling when I'm with you. I don't want to go anywhere else but beside you. I feel so secured. I feel loved. I feel you so much. You were incredibly a gift from above. I must say. I don't know. But if this shit doesn't work out, let me tell you this.. No bola. walang halong charing.. Those 4 days made me a real person again. No kiddin. Sobrang saya na hindi ko mabibili kung san man. Before Friday came, I was feeling fucked up because of my canceled Hongkong trip. Now I realized, hah! What happened for 4 days were certainly uncomparable to any vacation I could ever gone through. Now, let's try this... Come, be with me. Let's share this ride together... :) Missing you bunch!

PS. I promise I'll work tomorrow like hell. Come on! I don't have sleep yet. Tomorrow babawi ako. Pati ikaw igogoodjob moko! :) Good morning again! :)

Dream House

When I was a child, I used to clean our entire home. I love designing rooms and arranging my mother's furnitures. Now that I grew up, still I fancy houses. I love the feeling of seeing cozy places so I want my own place a cozy one. Someday, I know I'll have a home to call my own. I wanted it not that big but functional. Stylish but something traditional or contemporary. What I want is actually a cozy place, very relaxing and elegant. I can't wait to have my own home to design.

If I'll be that rich and single (LOL), I'll definitely save my moolah on building an elegant house somewhere in Tagaytay. Where I could call a weekend house. Somewhere I could run to whenever I'm down. Some place I could hide if I want to run from the crazy city. And ofcourse some place I could invite most of my few best friends over for some catching ups and drinks.

Here are some pieces of living rooms I wanna copy someday...

Elegant and stylish Kichen

I don't have any talent in cooking. Onie's actually fond of delicious dishes, so he's into cooking and all that. I'm just into tasting and pigging out some junks. HAH! I want to learn but I'm not ready yet. Yes! I know I'm soooooo tamad. Coz I don't like the feeling when cutting onions and garlics. I hate washing the dishes. I scream whenever I fry hotdogs and fishes. I don't want cooking rice. I don't like serving food. Only thing I can do is to arrange the table setting. There, you can trust me in that chore. ;)

The Dining Room

Everything below is a wow for me. Like OMG! I want that! I'll be very fat mom if I'll stay in that kind of dining room. Well, for I know I won't have a big family someday, so yea, that's impossible I'll have some long tables like those. A four seater table would be fine for me. ;) The first pic, isn't a dining table though.. But I still love it to death...

Spacious Bathroom

I know these are imposible for me to have, look at that... Oh my, I could just stay there all Saturday and have a bubble bath. Onie promised me a house with Jacuzzi though. hahahah. take note okay, not a tub... A jacuzzi. He's not kiddin anyway. LOL

The Master's Bedroom

Finally, the master's bedroom. I want it to be white or something like neutral colors only. For now, if I'll have my room redecorated, I want to color it bloody red and have a light yellow lamp. Very soothing and calm. But when I'll have my family home, I'll have the master's bedroom colored white, and the furnitures could be white as well. I don't know, I just want it that simple and clean. Plus, I really want to have that curtain like around my bed. I feel like a princess somehow while sleeping in there. :)

Rooms for my little ones...

I got tons in my list, but these are my favorites. It's fun and cuute. I love them so much. I wish I could really really fix rooms for my babies just like those. These are really inspirations pics for me to copy in the future. :)

I know I'm being exagg here. I know how expensive it is to have a place like these. Well, if you're really aiming for something... You'll do everything just to get it. As for me? I'll work my ass off for me to achieve it. :)

Time for me to snooze. Have work later! Boo!

Some thoughts in my mind...

I miss you so much.... I want to see you now... :(

Tarot For The Day

... and here it goes:

Today, you have Strength on your side and the World at your feet, aiza! Your
charm is working overtime and nobody can resist the charisma you’re giving out.
You might be tempted to abuse this talent for seduction to get what you want
from friends or lovers. If it works – so much the better for you! In the
professional context, you are in an ideal position today to put forward your
ideas and present your projects to the people that matter. Strength and the Pope
put you in the right frame of mind so that you can defend your ideas with
courage – but not without the required dose of finesse and diplomacy. The
sincerity and kindness that you radiate have every chance to win over most
people.

LOL. Actually. It is kinda true! Last sat! I had a blast and it was a sweet saturday night! KASO.... DUh? my title says.. "Tarot For The Day" Saturday ba ngayon? BOOO! LOL sige na consider na yan! CHOS! haha

I Love Saturday Night with Friends

I know weekend's over again.. Can we like have 5 weekends and 2 weekdays instead? Just for a change? And for that, I'll take leaves on 2 weekdays for I'll have a complete 7 days vacay. HAHAHAH!

Ok, I love my work and I need a job to earn for a living.. But hey! I'm having the best time of my life now.. I just wanna go out and have some fun fun fun nights...

Last Saturday, we celebrated the homecoming/birthday bash of Brent! How cool your party was dude! It was a blast! You've just invited the half of Soldiers Hills homeowners! LOL Kidding! Well, the crowd was crazy and Brent's guest occupied 2 long tables. At first we're not having a single conversation for yea, it was a bit.. hmmm how do you call that? overwhelming? God, Central was crowded that night.. And I must say, I saw tons of aquaintances. (Prolly that's why there will be Central Muntinlupa soon, they knew Central was a click for Soldier's peeps... they're bringing the place here! YIKES! that would be eeeeekkk ahahha, i can't say any word. haha)

So here's the captured moments:

The Girls while waiting for the rest at Starmart. That's Karen, Me, Km, KT, Sarah Carmi and Tim (Shorts kung shorts sabi ni Malou! Malou, we miss you!!!)

The party just started. Perfect, Karen was there. She's one of the best bud of Sarah and she's a mum already. I know, she's stunning!

That's just one long table, the other one's in the left. Lupet mo Brent! nabasag mo ang lahat! Apir!

Para sayo Patrick! Welcome back! CHEERS!

That's Roman and Sarah Mae... Basag na kame. Alam ko. we're about to go home na..

Vanot dropped by, Brent Patrick was one hell of a popular hunk guy! LOL Lahat kaibigan nyan. So ngayon magdusa ka! Painumin mo lahat! LOL Totee wasn't able to stay long... She went there, but she only bought 1 picher of Badboy. She's with other set of friends from phase 3 and some 2 dudes from Fortufino... I think they chilled out at Petron or at the guy's crib...

With Pao! Sa Feb, ikaw naman papainom... Pasado o hindi, magpainom ka hoy! hahaha.

Carmi Mae :: Aiza Mae :: Sarah Mae

Sarah and Aiza with the hunk dude, Brent Patrick :) Thanks dude for the treat! Sa uulitin.. Yellowcab and Beer. This time, at Sarah's crib. PANGAKO MO YAN! :D

And yea, that's me... off to getting drunk once again... *hik*