walang title

Birthday mo na pala sa Thursday.. Tama ba? sa Thursday nga ba? OO sa Thursday nga. Na hindi ko alam kung icecelebrate natin o ano? Magleleave bako? Kelangan mo pa ba ako? Nalulugkot ka rin ba ng todo. Madalas daw akong magsalita habang natutulog, sabi ng utol ko.. Di ko alam ang ibig sabihin nun, pero ayun.. Pakiramdam ko, dahil to sa pagulila ko sayo. Ang tagal na kitang hinihintay.. Araw araw nalang ako nag
gogoodmorning at naggogoodnight sa hangin at kawalan, wala namang naggogoodnight back. Ayokong isipin, masasanay din ako ng bongga, kase ayokong masanay sa kalungkutan. Ilang birthdays pa nga ba? Ilang okasyon pa na wala ka? Miss na miss na kita.

Mukang uulan ng malakas, malakas ung kulog e. Nadadama ko rin sa init ng paligid. Uulan nga siguro. Dinadagdagan pa ng panahon ang lungkot ko. malapit na ang Thursday. Nakakainis, nakakuha ako ng notification from friendster na malapit na nga daw bday mo. Kung alam lang nila na ayoko na munang maalala yan. May iilang kaibigan mo ang nagtetext na saken. Happy bday daw. ano daw plano ko? Sa totoo lang. Naubos na ata ang kasweetan ko. wala akong maisip sa ngayon, kase alam ko na kahit ikaw ayaw mo ng icelebrate ang araw na yan. Hindi ko alam kung anong emosyon ang dapat maramdaman. pero i feel so down. really really down.

Magbibirthday ka nanaman. Magbillirads manlang sana tayo no? o kaya magcelebrate sa hotel ng tayong dalawa lang. Ang sweet. Ang romantic. Kung pwede nga sana, magbora tayo. Gusto kong bumalik ng bora, pero sana ikaw na ang kasama ko.. Mga 2 linggo. Solb na solb nako.

Kung alam lang ng tadhana, kung gaano ako kasabik sayo. Kung alam lang ng tadhana, kung gano ako nangungulila sayo.. Kung kaya ko lang ipaalam o isigaw kung gaano ako nahihirapan o nasasaktan dahil wala ka. Siguro maaawa ang tadhana at ibabalik ka saken. Pero hindi ganon kadali ang buhay.. Hindi pwedeng isang sigaw lang, anjan na gusto mo. Hindi to resto na para bang isang order, ilang minuto, ayan na ung pagkaing hiniling mo.. kung mabibili ko lang ang lahat. Kung mabibili ko ang kaligayahan, kung mabibili ko ang batas, kung mabibili ko ang tadhana... Gagawin ko ang lahat, mapagipunan lang yan..

Babalik nako sapagkaidle ko next week. Masaya na malungkot. pero isa lang ang alam ko.. Makakatulog nako (or hindi paren). Pero sana sa pagtulog ko, kasama na kita sa tabi ko..

Miss na miss na kita..
Bisitahin mo naman ako dito.. (or baka sige ako nalang bibista sayo)

I got a PIE for ya..

Eto naman ay base lang sa malikot kong paguutak, charing lang to. hahaha. Natatamad kase ako sa panahon. Sobrang lakas ng ulan ang sarap matulog. Spotan nyo hehehe.








Gusto ko sanang gawan ng pie, lahat ng taong kilala ko. kaso natamad ako bigla. OK pinakamakulay na kay totee! Winner ka!

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Happy Pill

I need to buy a dress for a special occassion. Please help me choosing. It's gonna be a wedding day. :)

Forever 21 - Price: $24

This is my pick. Aisa said, it's soo me. I love the color and I love the simplicity. I know it's hot, that's why I love it. :) Forever 21 - Price: $22

With this, I'm not sure. I like it but I wont wear it in a wedding. I just wanna have a piece of this :)
Forever 21 - Price: $16
I like this as well, but prolly I would wear this to other occassion, say anniversary? Whatchathink? :)
Forever 21 - Price: $14
Cute right? I wanted to have this as well. If I'm gonna wear it in a wedding, it'll be better if it's not white. I'd rather choose blue, royal blue. The linings will still be in black :)
Forever 21 - Price: $22
This one is soo nice. I love it. I wanna wear it now! :)
Forever 21 - Price: $10
I won't wear this in a wedding, I just want to add this in my dress collection. :)
Forever 21 - Price: $24
I'll prolly wear this on January 1st. It's so cute and sexy for New Year's eve. :)
Forever 21 - Price: $10
This one, I would wear this for malling, or having a nice coffee at starbs with my boyf on a weekend :)

Gosh, I want to buy every piece. It's so addicting! Last Sunday, I went to Pasig and got all my stuffs there. I miss my dresses and other shoes. Now I'm wearing the yellow pumps. :) I just realized I got tons of clothes and shoes. Before they all went to my closet, my sisters raid my stuffs first, they got 2 each. Since I gave up old stuffs, time to update my closet :) hahahahha (kaso nagtitipid nga pala ako. LOL) eeeeeeeeeeeee, I wanna have evrything. I emailed my kuya to buy me those stuffs. Kahit 2 lang sa knila, I'll pay for them if necessary :) E pero Jack, pabirthday, pachristmas, panew year mo nalang saken yan! hehehhe :) LOVES!

Super Advance

While me and Mich are chatting, we end up talking about planning to go to a place where there's a man dancing in a dirty manner. LOL. (Para maiba lang) Once she got here in Manila, that's one of the first things we must do LOL. We decided to have a party instead of going to a place like that. It's kinda horrifying if you'll think about it. hahah. I can't really imagine myself getting inside that place. So anyway, yea, we decided to make it for my bridal shower! LOL She'll be incharge for the BIG CAKE/GIFT. Inside, there's a man dancing like a whore! Double the LOL. haha

My idea is to invite all men who were linked with me for the past years except my boyf. So, that'll be...

Yep (nasa Germany na to e)
Diego (HS crush)
Maman (Tropa ng jowa ko to, so wag na)
Jd (APC)
Sioc (Friend thru chase)
Don (oh, pass. bf ng friend ko)
Tatu (childhood friend)
Cake (may kras saken LOL)
Martin (ex na masugid hindi joke lang feeling lang ako)
Pj (ex)
Eric (may something kame before)

Fudge! Ang dami na pala. Mich said, papilahin sila, icocompare, then sino mas lamang. Maliit out! Next! Triple the LOL here! hahahha! I can't imagine how will my boyf react on this! LOL

It was so sweet of her ♥

Last night my father got home from Bicol together with my grandma. I guess she's 80++ years old so I pity her for travelling Bicol to Manila. She'll be attending the overnight prayer meeting for El Shaddai this Saturday, so she went here in Manila. Grandma's really sweet, while I went outside my room to bless and kiss her, she told me, the only thing she pray for me is for Onie to be free as soon as possible. I hugged her and said... Yes lola, I'm pretty sure we're answered prayer. :) I am so happy she was able to remember my boyf's name, for she never see him outside. I only got to tell stories before but it was ages already. When the tragedy came across to me and my man's life, I never went to any of family reunions or any small family gatherings. I don't wanna share stories then, for I know gossips and hearsays will be on air and I might not like what will I hear if I'll join them. So I opted to stay home and alone during family gatherings. Years have passed and I was immune with all the talks about me and my man. I don't wanna get upset and affected by all those. I learned how to face the reality so I told my dearest lola about my prob. She told me, the moment I was detained at Fort Boni my mother called her up and asked for prayers. She knew everything all along. She was just silent praying for us.

Up to this date, I know she's still on it, together with other prayers for my siblings and other cousins. Bless you lola for being so wonderful and caring grandma to all of us. :) I love you soo... :)

In time, my man will see you and thank you personally for the prayers you had for me and him. I know he's not been a good and loyal bf to me, but I assure you lola, he changed a lot and I definitely wanted to be his other half. :) We'll be glad if you can make it on our wedding day, and this time, you won't ride any other bus, but will pay for your air fare instead. I love you so, and may God grant you longer life and good health. :)

Loves,
Icing (that's how she calls me)

Those were the days...

This morning, I had a conversation with Gen. We look back in the past as we see how it went as far as our relationships is concern. Funny to reminisce everything, on how my man and I became a couple, when's our first kiss, how did it happen and on how I went gaga over him. I still can't believe we are now on our 9th year of togetherness. I didn't expect everything will turned out like this. As I said before, this wasn't planned. I'm not actually inlove with him the first time I knew him. In fact, I said yes just for the sake of having a bf. (He knew about this btw, so its okay sharing stories bout this ;) )

How did I say yes?
haha! Funny e. I wrote it in a card. I said.. "From now on, you remember this day, April 10, 2000. Eto na yun!" Parang something to that effect. Yuck nakakatawa. Kadire. Sorry, I don't know anything about love before. Kaya ganyan.

When/Where was our first kiss?
It was 2000. I'm 16 yrs old then. LOL We were sneaking from my parents. He dropped me nearby our house, he was askin for a kiss. He won't leave unless I'll give him a kiss, he said. LOL I oblidged and there, under the tree, he dub his lips from mine and yea, it lasted for 4 seconds I guess. I couldn't sleep after that! LOL

Where's our first date?
Racks. Alabang Town Center. I can't remember what I wore. Sayang! LOL

What's our terms of endearment?
We got tons. hahaha
Hun/Mahal
Baby
Wifey/Hubby
Sir
Bee
Babe

Who's the boss in our relationship?
Definitely HIM!

How many times he gave me flowers?
Yuck onte lang e. Hindi maflower si onie.
4x
1 dozen white roses
1 long stem blue rose
1 dozen red roses
1 dozen red roses

What was our theme song?
Yea, may ganto talaga. hahaha
Power of two (that's the only senti song na memorize nya hahaha)

How many times we broke up?
Thrice.

Reasons?
1. Burn
2. Fed up with petty quarells
3. Flirting with someone over text ( e ako un. nagpanggap lang akong kung sino! Nahuli ko sya nyeta!)

Who's calling it quits?
Me

Who's trying to do the reconsilation?
Me LOL

I wanna continue this long story. But I got no sleep yet, so I can't find any words to say. Boo! I'm too tired to think. Will update next time :)

For now, all I can say is, I miss babe because of the conversation Gen and I had. :)

Despite what happened...

I know, I'm still blessed. Thank God! :)

Let me be happy for real :)

Ilang tulog nalang, birthday ko nanaman. ang araw lulubog, bukas mabubusog... sa chicken joy manok! at yum burger bilog! I LOVE YOU SABADO!! :D

I hate you, you know..

I don't know why you keep on haunting my mind..
Please go away..
I guess, this is the best cue where you need to take the exit door.
I'm not even liking the way you talk
the way you bring yourself
you don't even have guts to talk to me in person

I dont know what's with you
Why do i feel happy when you're around.
This is so confusing.

I don't like you.
I really don't like you.

I'm trying to convince myself you're not for me...
We should part ways now...
Because in the end,
one of us will get tired of waiting
one of us will get hurt

and im hoping, am not gonna be that one.
still.. i miss you..

:(