Kalokohan

Yan ang sabi sa tarot ko for today.

Surprises, unexpected encounters, intuition, easy-going conviviality – it’s all there to make this a perfect day in your romantic life. Whether you live as a couple or on your own, this wonderful day will bring you plenty of happiness. Under the aegis of Judgement and the Pope you might well receive a proposal from your loved one today – or a declaration of friendship. Your career is on the up and you may demand a change of status or even – why not – a move abroad. The World offers new opportunities and Judgment grants you greater responsibility and discipline. Keep an ear to the ground for new proposals you could take on, because they could contribute to your personal fulfillment in the professional arena.

Matagal tagal narin akong hindi nagchecheck ng tarot ko. Sa pagkaburaot ko sa mundo, naisipan kong aba onga no, nalimutan ko ng dati akong naging fan neto. Bakit hindi natin tignan kung talagang nagtutugma kung ano mga pinagsasabi ng punyetang tarot nato.

HANGGANG SA.....
Ayan! Lumabas na ginagago nga lang ako nyan. Pinasasabik at pinakikilig lang ako dati. Minsan pinangingiti dahil mistulang totoo lahat ng sinasabi nya. Pero ngayon? Ano? Ako pa ba gagaguhin ng tarot na yan? Lahat ng sinabi nya maganda e. E ni walang magandang nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon. Ni isa, wala. Ni kakapiranggot, ipinagkait. Kahit ang ngumiti, parang ipinagdamot narin saken.

Kaya wag na kayong maniwala sa mga kashitang mga ganyan. Niloloko lang kayo nyan. Parang ako, minsan nya rin akong naloko.

someday

Someday someone’s gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you

Someday someday

Good times starts now

I screwed up many times in my 25 years of my life and now I'm gonna tell everyone that I screwed the holy shit out of my life once again! Yeah, we're done! We're through! We're finish! All the dramas, all the fucking shits happened with my godamn life's now over! FINALLY! (Well, I'm just talking with myself here, I'm not sure if he ever knows what the fuck I'm feeling right now) I already told her sis though, I mean come on! Everyone's telling me what to do. Even her sis told me she'll completely understand if I'll ditch her bro. For God sake! 2009's almost over. Then, what now?

No argues. Full of hard feelings. This is what I'm trying to avoid before that the endless love I have for him will turn out disaster one day. HATRED. I've been cursing him million times in my head right this moment! You, sonofabiiitch! I f*ckin' hate you for making my life soooo miserable! I was sooo effin blind before! I still want you to get out of that holy shit soon though. I'll see when I fuckin see you!

Now I got some great news! I'll be having a party on Sat in Central BBQ Grill, BF, Parañaque! Come with me and let's fuck up the night! CHEERS!

Happy 115th!

Yes! It's our Birthday today and I forgot it again. HEHE! Good thing, babe texted. It was sweet of him to remember every 10th day of every month. :) I love you for that! :)

What am I supposed to blog right now? I'm actually not in the mood to write, but fuck the tasks am doing at of this time really sucks big time! I have no choice but to continue doing these. I'm so so sooo unlucky for being in this kind of situation.

Anyhow, I'd rather share stories regarding my so-called social life than my work. :) Well, it's been what since I blog about the details of my weekends or my daily routines? Hmmm, I can't remeber when. Even browsing my favorite blogs, I too got no time. It's not because I'm very busy-busy. I don't know, prolly I'm not in the mood or because I have more options to do than reading blogs nowadays.

Weekends for me been enjoying so far. I tend to have some drinking sessions each time. If it's not gonna be at Sarah's crib, it would be at Oge's or prolly at Tj's. Well, I'm just lucky I got tons of friends who never fail to invite me for some drinks on Saturdays. :) I don't know where should I start talking with sense here, but I could really really feel I need to take the exit door! HAH! What's wrong with me? hahahaha! I can't even create a decent sentence. :( arg! FINE! Don't mind me... I'm just dealing with annoyance towards some non sense creature here! LOL

Anyway, fine! I'd share something bout my man's situation. Which I actually don't want to disclose, but hey! I know some of you are still praying for my boyf and for that I owe you an explaination. :)

Ok. I was actually a lil upset about this ish. Not a lil upset, but I am bloody bloody upset about it I swear! So we had a normal hearing last September and October, and to my surprise the case wasn't finish yet. God! How can this be happening? It's been hmmmm... fine! I'll stop ranting here. :) I got a new motto for now, actually came from my mother. She told me... "Don't be afraid, HAVE FAITH!" And I was like, "AMEN!"

No one knows when this will end. No one knows exactly how we are surpassing these trials. I already quit a lot of times but still I'm here, trying to resolve these prob we got. Lately yes I told you I've been hanging out with different circle of friends, but still I got this "alone" feeling. You know what I mean? Even I am surrounded with happy people, even I know my friends would want to make me feel better, even I know I still got my family to count on, STILL... the feeling of being alone is in me. Still, I can feel the lonesome. Still, I am fighting with this battle which I don't know until when...

I've been following some local artists on Twitter and I am actually envious with their activities. If in case my job was similar to them, prolly I wouldn't have time getting depressed or something. Just like Pokie, Mariel, and RR--Wowowee girls. Gosh! They were all lucky to be part of the noon time show! Imagine how much they are earning now, to think they are having fun with what they're doin. I love their JOB as in! I am still hooked up with some TV series. If I don't feel like drinking, I tend to bum around my room and watch different series in the sidereel.com. Again thanks to my friend, Kabog who shared the link. If it wasn't with her, I wouldn't be this updated with GG, The Hills, and Desperate Housewives. Just last Saturday, I started watching, "How I met your Mother" It was indeed a funny series. A must see actually!

I had a great conversation with my kuya last week. They're coming home next year! YAY! Excited! SUPER!

Now the Christmas tree is already up here in the office together with the christmas lights. In our village, the old basketball court was converted to a play ground, and the home owners association officers are actually decorating the place and getting ready for the Christmas. They are trying to build a Belen, and it was huge! Some of my neighbors got christmas decors as well, my mother on the other hand wanted to buy a new parol which has singing christmas lights. I pleaded not to. And Totee thought I'm being bitter about Christmas--YES! I am! And I hate that I am feeling this way. I wanted to be happy and to act normal during holidays, but for some reasons, I don't like the month of November and December. I wanted to skip those months. The sadness is killing me. :( for real!

Next Sat, it'll be Brian's bday, and we'll be celebrating it in his crib. Prolly, I'll go and have fun! Next next week, Nov 21, my girls are planning to celebrate my bday in Sta Rosa, Laguna. Oge's parents has a new house there. I hope it'll be relaxing and fun as well. I'm expecting a few friends to come over, Oge, Carla, Marla, Via, Kai and Dina. Chen is welcome as well, but I'm not sure if she wanted to come. :) On the 28th, I'll have a double celebration bday with my boyf's sis. Her bday is on the 25th. We'll celebrate it together. I don't know the plan yet, I'm thinking of having it somewhere in Parañaque or someone's crib, Sarah's prolly. Km's planning to serve her popular bake mac. It tastes heaven, really! Well, on my bday, 26th of November, I don't have work. YEY for that! It'll be Thanksgiving in the States. Well, I dont have any plans yet. Prolly I'll celebrate it with my fam or with my other half. I don't know. I'm actually not excited for this month, honestly i don't want to celbrate my day, it's just that, it's non sense celbrating it with out my boyf. I actually got other plans before. Before that I knew he'll gonna be free by this month, I got other plans, like celebrating it together out-of-town. So it sucks I'll be celebrating it by myself again. I can't do anything about it though but to thank God I'm still alive and still getting tons of blessings!

God, thank you! Please answer my prayer before my Birthday.. Pretty please...

Advance Wish List (Inspired by Geni)

Gen's right. It's a ber month now and I can't wait for the upcoming Christmas. Wasn't that happy since yea, you know am a lil bit in trouble, but of course will still try to enjoy the holidays with my fam, my boyf and the rest of my crew. :)

Btw, it's raining cats and dogs a while ago, I do hope it won't continue since I'm about to get ready for work. How I wish Ortigas is just 2 mins away from Alabang! LOL I hope my bosses would always understand where I'm coming from. I still got good outputs though, so I guess they're okay when I'm taking emergency leaves. ;)

So here's my WISH LIST or better I should call these plans for next year. I'm still hoping for better days up until the last day of December, I'm still working out with some issues and personal stuffs, I don't wanna jinx everything so I'll go for my plans next year. ;)

Ok. Warning! This is a long long post. This is a late entry actually. I had this edited already. This was sitting in my archive for quite sometime now. I don't have anyone to talk to, so I'm here... dealing with my blog. My own space in the cyber world.

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Next year I have tons of plans (as usual). I'm not sure if I'll have all these by myself or my man and I will be together having this so called journey.

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Ooopps, had dinner. I left my lappy. Here I am now. not in the mood to continue this thing again. I don't have the courage... I don't know. Better to continue this shit next time...

Wish I just blog, instead of doing this crap...

I’m tired of:
- having second thoughts
I am listening to:
- i got a feeling - black eyed peas
Maybe I should:
- start thinking about myself this time.
Chocolate is:
- my fave thing on earth when im blue. so I am craving one right now. :(
I last ate:
- maruya, fried banana coated with flour.
Right now I'm craving:
- THANK YOU FOR ASKING
Love is:
- blind. so love me. - john lloyd as popoy imitating james blanco as whatshisname in One More Chance.
tommorow:
- WORK. Still got tons of work to do.
Do you miss someone?:
- Penge nalang ng chocolate. Yung may almond please. :)
Are you wearing chop stick?:
- Right now nope. I used to before. But I'm now rebonded so that's not allowed anymore :)
Are you tired?:
- Again, THANK YOU!
Are you wearing pajamas:
- enough about me. what about you?
Are you upset?:
- yes
LASTS:
Last drink?
- water lang
Last phone call?
- Last night pa. Carla ata.
Last time you cried?
- Last Thursday, Friday, Saturday :(
RANDOM QUESTIONS
Ever laughed until you almost cried?
- I always do.
Is there something you want to tell someone?
- If you're really into it, do it. Don't let people get annoyed with all your undying excuses.. Or better yet, I'll just scream, YOU GROW UP!
Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
- Nope. I'm a smoker. Let's do this together. :) haha
Last person you texted:
- Tatu
Who is the last person you added to your contacts list in your phone?
- Another stalker's number. Come on! Stop all the texts. I'm not ready for any games.
Where is your next road trip?
- we're planning for a Sta. Rosa trip on my Birthday. But that was cancelled already. :( So what's up? How will we celebrate my day?
Where is the person you like at right now?
- I like? As in like like lang? haha!
What outfit do you have on at this exact moment?
- White shirt and gray shorts.
How do you feel?
- running out of excuses NOT to go to work.
When was the last time you talked to your number 1?
- number 1 what? You mean my man? Last Friday. :( I'm missing him though.
Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
- hot please
Where did you sleep last night?
- caught between my pillows and blanket
What/who woke you up today?
- nobody. I slept at 4am, woke up at 12nn lunch, slept at 1pm again, woke up at 630. SARAP.
Is there anyone you want to be with right now?
- Hindi ba obvious?

past is past

25 yrs of my life, I've never bump into a person as shallow as this one. People come and go. You may not know whom are real and not until you reach the boiling point. I myself know how to distinguish people like these but for some reasons this one whom I trusted and whom I loved, this one whom I treated not just a friend but a sister, one day broke my heart.

I never thought it would be as shallow as this. I never thought it would come this far. I never ever wanted this to happen. The only thing I'm wishing for all of my friends is HAPPINESS, simply that. So, the moment I knew they had it in their lives, I would simply back off and let them handle their own lives alone.

Most of my friends knew the real me. I value friendship as much I value my family. So if ever you're part of my list, I'm telling you... I'll be with you no matter what. I'll die with you, that's friendship for me.

Just yesterday, I actually deleted one from my friend's list data base. For me, there's actually no such thing as delete action. But she provoked me. She made me do this. Or probably she wanted me to do this. Like what I've said, for me, friendship really matters. Whatever she said, whatever she did, I will never ever forget.

To you, I hope you're happy now. Indeed, you made me realize how shallow you are, how you value that friendship I had with you. At least, we both realize as early as now that we need to end up the relationship we had in the past. I can not, REALLY, can not continue my life with you anymore, calling you my friend would be a sin probably. This is not easy, but hell yeah, you made me do this sh*t!

Random Thoughts

This is supposed to be published yetesday, but I wasn't able to finish it due to a heaps of tasks in line. Not to mention I'm too sleepy yesterday and was kind of busy as well chating with HS friends, Don, Anna, and Brent.

SO YESTERDAY:
Today, Irene will arrive the Philippines. She was far from home for 4 years, and this is her first home coming here in Manila. So we opt to have a party for her. I had to reserve a private pool in Pansol and on Saturday, Oct 17, I know we'll have a blast! ;)

TODAY:
Got up early like 7something. Irene called up. She's home already. I feel sleepy at some point but I can't go back to sleep for some weird reasons which I really don't know. LOL So what I did was to go online again and start Facebooking. Yea, I know I'm such an internet whore these past few days. I can't deny that I am up to something else aside from getting advices from "Bertong Badtrip" and "One More Chance Advice" LOL. Come on! You have to try it. It's kind of aliw. :)) Also, I'm not hooked but been trying all the new games from FB. OK. I know that sounds olats but yea. haha. I am managing a lot. I have a 3 farms, (farm ville, farm town, and sunshine ranch) 2 restaurants, (restaurant city and cafe world?.. what was that again?) and a fish tank. I do hope evrything are real for I don't need to stuck myself here in my station to earn tons of moolah. Hahaha! I do update, but I'm not an addict. What else? Ahh.. I've been eyeing a lot of pics from my friends and I do comment a lot! Now, what I really like most there are the videos which my friends are posting. HAHA! Super aliw. Dun talaga nauubos ang oras ko. HEHE sa kakaspot sa lahat ng vids.

So now it's Friday. I am thankful once again, since it's my last shift. But I feel a lil upset. It's Friday and I haven't heard anything from this goddamn dude. HAHA! Right! One of the reasons why I'm trying to be online. LAME LAME LAME. LOL What can I do? You got me with those smile. :) *kilig* haha! Anyway, yea.. As you said. Whatever happens, we'll still cross each others path. Imposibleng hindi. Madaming inuman pang magaganap. November na! Birthday ko na. May mga uuwi pa. There will be tons of inuman sessions in line. Pero, are we still going to be the same? Balita? Yun parin ba ihihirit mo saken? Baka naman wala ni HA ni HO akong marinig sayo once we bump into each other... Wag naman sana. :) I think hindi naman siguro. Sa bus kanina. Naalimpungatan ako. "Bubble gang in on TV" Shet. So i saw Wendell. I got to think of you. U L U L hahahahahha! muka kang tanga madam!

O sya! fine magtrabaho na! ng makarami! GORA!

Next week will be different for me. Magbago kaya ako? Sana ganto paren. Sana chill paren. Thank God for this opportunity. I hope I can handle it well. :)

Later, I'm off to Pansol. Let's have fun friends! :)

Weekend's over. I had a lot of thoughts goin on in my mind. Having been awake for almost 2 days straight I guess was unbelievable. Everything were quick. I didn't know I'd come this far. I'm trying to contemplate some shits, which I really don't want to say, but hey.. I'd still give it a try...

If I walk, would you run? If I stop, would you come? If I say you're the one, would you believe me? If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way? Tell me what to say, so you won't leave me..

Maybe I'm not ready, but I'll give it a try. For a change. I'm not sure if we're hiding. I guess I'm exaggerating. I don't know what you think right now. I don't know where the hell are you exactly. I don't have any idea what's goin on with you. OKAY. I'll stop. Just give me a single shout right now. RIGHT NOW.

What the hell happened to me over the effin weekend? Dang!

I miss I miss I miss

Sleeping 10 hours. haha!

I miss sleeping. :( But I got tons of stuffs to do..

1. need to go to the office, work for 9 hours
2. need to go to the derma later...
3. need to finalize Irene's party on Oct 17, which is btw pool party in Pansol.
4. need to visit my man coz i got a great kwento.
5. finally, need to shop. Yea, I guess I need to prize myself once again for doing a goodjob! *wink*

Oh, and btw. Thank God, an old friend is coming to town. He'll have a party on Sat. Can't wait! Shat na! Yey! See ya guys! *Really excited!*

Boo! Pagexcited daw, mas lalong hindi naman maganda ang magaganap. Kebs! I just need a break. Yun lang, kahit walang magandang whatever na maganap. LOL

Okay, need to hit the pantry now! One cappuccino, coming up! HAH!