I hate you, you know..

I don't know why you keep on haunting my mind..
Please go away..
I guess, this is the best cue where you need to take the exit door.
I'm not even liking the way you talk
the way you bring yourself
you don't even have guts to talk to me in person

I dont know what's with you
Why do i feel happy when you're around.
This is so confusing.

I don't like you.
I really don't like you.

I'm trying to convince myself you're not for me...
We should part ways now...
Because in the end,
one of us will get tired of waiting
one of us will get hurt

and im hoping, am not gonna be that one.
still.. i miss you..

:(

One Cafe Mocha for Aizeee

G: tingin ko
G: hmm
G: sige
G: lagay naten sa ganito
G: napapansin ko
G: sa starbs
G: iisa lang ang inoorder mo
G: kahit san ka mag punta
G: na kapihan
G: isa lang
G: hot mocha
a: yan ang gusto ko
a: un lang talga. pero may point ka
a: nagegets ko
a: siguro ganon akong klase ng tao
a: stick to one
G: yeah.. kahit may bago hindi mo itry
a: ung tipong pare... itry ko man iba.. balik at balik ako sa cafe mocha
a: ganon
G: hindi naman masama mag try ng flavor of the month
a: naisip ko din yan. sa coffee bean kase iba ang kape ko, machiatto hahah. dahil ibang tao ang kasama ko
a: lol
a: ang coffee bean for me, is mart*n's e
G: parang yung banana javacula.. hindi mo natry e masarap kaya yun
a: hahaha
a: so ibang kape
a: lol
G: haha
G: e yun
G: hindi ka nga nagsasawa
G: hindi ko alam kung maganda yan or panget
a: mismo
a: nde ko rin alam
a: kung tama o mali
G: o sige ganon na nga
a: maya maya ramdam ko na
a: magblog nanaman ako
a: about sa kape na yan
G: e naisip ko lang..
a: mapansin ko kase
a haha
a: balik ako ng balik sa cafe mocha
G: naisip mo ba... na what if... what if lang... iwan ka ni onie
a: parang tunay na buhay lang
G: oo kaya
G: haha
a: balik ng balik kay onie
G: ikaw e
G: yun nga.. what if pare
a: alam mo kung bakit gaze
G: ganyan ka ng ganyan
G: hindi mo sure kung nanjan sya hanggang huli
a: sa cafe mocha, subok ko na, kabisado ko na ang timpla, gusto ng panlasa ko kaya loyal ako sa kanya, hindi nya ako dinidisappoint na hindi ko sya magugustuhan dahil alam ko sa sarili ko, napamahal nako sa knya
G: kuha mo yung point ko?
a: same thing sa tunay na buhay
a: well
a: gets ko ung point mo
a: ako kase ung tao na.. i still don't regret things which i know i'll be geniunely happy kapag siya ang pinili ko
a: impyerno man o langit pagsasamahan namin
G: yeah..
a: may ganong factor
a: i can't risk the convenience na nararamdaman ko sa relationship
a: nato
a: 9 yrs isn't comparable with anything else. alam kong hindi nasusukat sa tagal o ano
a: pero 9 yrs. yun na yun
a: ano pa ba ang hindi namin naranasan
a: na sinubok na ng panahon at pagsubok
a: still
a: we're here
a: surviving
a: na
a: iniisip ko
a: sa iba
a: ??
a: ganto din ba?
a: i tried diba
G: yeah.. but are you happy?
a: ?
a: absolutely am. saturdays are my happy days
a: ano ba ang rant ko gaze
a: days, whenever im not with him
a: hindi naman ako mayaman para araw arawin ang check in
a: makasama ko lang sya
a: ang magcheck in every sat, 2 yrs and 7 mos. sobrang risky for me, at sa bulsa ko
G: yeah..
a: pero i do this.. kase dun ko nakikitang masaya ako
a: dun ko nararamdaman
a: ung happiness
a: na sana hindi na matapos
a: tao lang siguro. na napapagod..
a: nagrarant
a: pero
a: at the end of the day
a: ganun paren
a: uuwi at uuwi
a: sa knya
G: yeah..
G: nagtatry ka nga... pero babalik pa rin tayo sa hot mocha thing
G: babalik ka pa rin sa default..
a: yea
a: still
a: ganon na nga
a: bakit?
a: after tasting machiatto, o coffee jelly
a: nagiisip ako
a: may pagcocompare na nagaganap bago matulog
a: na hindi ko maalis
a: hindi ko maiwasan
a: ayoko icompare kase hindi healthy un
a: pero
G: pero?
a: ganon e. di ko maiwasan, iisipin ko. kanina, habang hawak ko ang machiatto, o java chip. hindi ako nasolb tulad ng pagkasolb ko sa cafe mocha
a: hindi ako nakuntento
a: tulad ng pagkakuntento ko sa cafe mocha
a: isipin mo nalang gaze
a: ano ba tong cafe mocha diba
a: simple
a: parang si onie lang
a: walang halong flavor na kakaiba
a: pero
a: patok na patok sa panlasa ko
G: hahahahahahahha
G: kaya nga
G: hindi ko din magets
G: :))
G: pinaka mura pa
G: sa starbs
G: mura lang yun no?
a: 120
a: yan na tlaga ang kape ko e.
a: at isa pa
a: ayoko ng ibang coffee shop
a: starbs lang
G: onga
G: korek
a: ayoko ng iba
a: siguro ganon akong tao chong..
a: i dont like fancy stuffs
a: sa simple
a: dun ako nasosolb
a: simple pero alam kong patok
a: isipin mo chong, pati sa frappe, mocha frappe
a: pinalamig ko lang
a: ganyan ako
G: :))
a: minsan gusto ko ng java chip e
a: pero
G: onga
a: ayoko parin
a: hahahha
G: sabagay
G: who am i to ask
G: wala na akong alam sa love love na yan
G: sabi nga nung isang AE mababa low EQ daw ako
G: haha

May point bako? O wala?
Di lang ako sa kape may default sa maraming bagay tulad ng:

Sa siopao sa treats
Sa trabaho (ang tagal tagal ko na dito)
Sa brand ng yosi
Sa Jowa ko
Sa pork loriat ng chowking

Madami pa na hindi ko na maisa isa dito. Pero un na nga.. Ganun akong klaseng tao, loyal ako sa mga tao o bagay na napapamahal na saken. Marunong naman akong magtry ng iba tulad sa pagdating sa pagibig, umoon the side man ako.. madami man sila. at the end of the day, sya paren at sya paren.

She's kind of part of who am I

Monday is not my favorite day in a week. Monday makes me sick, it stresses me much and I tend to be unhappy during Mondays. Today is Monday and today is the only day I had a time to read about former President Cory Aquino's death since she died. Thanks to abs-cbn's website I was able to educate myself. I was able to learn a lot of things about Mrs. Cory Aquino for being president, a mom and a simple housewife.

I was born on 1983, I am not good in history but my mother told me about a short story. It was year 1983 when EDSA was filled with thousands ang thousands of people, while everyone is doing the "L" sign which means "Laban". It was then, people were crying for the phrase "Di ka nag-iisa!" A few from my closests friends knew about this. My name "Aiza" is actually brought up with that phrase. My parents thought of a name similar or should I say rhymed with that phrase, so it became "Aiza". I know it was kinda of funny and weird, but yeah, I can say.. she's kind of part of who I am. :) So to Mrs. Cory Aquino, thanks for everthing you've done for the country, for all of us. I learned a lot just now how good person you are. Reading some articles from abscbn news' made me cry. I was touched.

May you rest in peace.

... and so I love you too

irene (7/27/2009 9:44:27 AM): pare....matagal ko ng alam na baliw ka

Ikaw nga lang ata ang nakakaalam nyan. Ikaw lang din siguro ang pwede kong kausapin ng may halong katarantaduhan at pagkaseryoso, both at the same time. (Dalawa pala kayo, hindi lang ikaw.) Magkasing utak tayo na kaya mong ibaba ang lebel mo sa lebel ko. Alam mo naman ako, ung pagkanon-sense ko minsan kumokota sa isang araw. LOL Hindi pala minsan, as in palagi pala. Naiisip ko minsan, umuwi ka nalang.. Kung kaya ko lang ibigay lahat ng pangangailangan mo, sige aampunin nalang kita. Kung kaya ko lang ibigay ang kinikita mo jan, sige dito ka nalang. Pero hindi e. hahaha. Ga-sino naman ang kakapiranggot na kinikita ko sa kikitain mo jan, baka tapikin moko sa likod at sabihin, "Madam, wag kang ambisyosa.. Di moko kalinya!" LOL alam ko naman un. pinapangrap ko lang na makasama ka ulit. Dating gawi. Dating kalokohan. Dating trip. Kase kahit kelan, di ako nakarinig ng husga galing sayo. Dahil kahit kelan, di moko tinabla. Dahil alam ko, sa sarili ko, kahit ang layo mo... Mahal na mahal moko na para bang kadugo mo. Higit pa sa kapatid na buo. Di ko alam ang tawag dun. Pero ganon ko karamdam ung pagmamahal mo. Nakakatuwang nakilala kita. Nagpapasalamat ako nakatapo ako ng isang tulad mo. Isa kang treasure kumbaga! Alam kong malalim na ang samahan nato. :)

Kaya sa kasal ko, wag ka mawawala. Di ko naman pinapangako na sasagutin ko pamasahe mo, dahil ipapaalala ko sayo ung gastos na tatamasin ko sa araw ng kasal ko.. LOL Sakto na chong na dumating ka, dumating ka lang.. sakto nako dun. Sana masaya ka para saken, alam ko naman na OO ang sagot mo. Pero yun na nga. Salamat dahil inintindi mo lahat ng hang ups mo. Naging totoo ka sa feelings mo. Kung galit ka, sinasabi mo, kung buraot ka sa sitwasyon ko, may dialog ka.. Kung apektado ka sa tinatamasa ko, sumesegway ka. Kaya kahit ang layo mo... ramdam parin kita, dahil sa lahat ng message mo... gets ko kung bakit ganon nalang ang reaksyon mo sa lahat ng bagay na nangyayari sa buhay ko. dahil alam ko, mahal na mahal mo rin ako, tulad ng pagmamahal ko sayo.

APIR chong! I'll see you when I see you! ;)

edi naiyak ako sa post kong to. Seryoso, taena mo.. naiyak ako :( namiss kita boi...

Random Trashed Thoughts

I've been reluctant to do this, but I think I need to. It's just that, the feeling is starting to overflow. I know sometimes, I can be a bad person you can never imagine. I know sometimes you could be clueless on what's in my mind. I know sometimes, you feel you don't know me at all. Those things... Yes, such things... I also feel the same way for you.

I hope and pray this could just be because of PMS. I'll certainly be happy to know, it's all about PMS. Hate having a period! Hate having this kind of feeling. Babe, come here, help me to calm down a lil bit.

This is one of those times, I'm thanking blogspot. Thanks for being there for me, for being a friend, for being my shock absorber! You're the bestest!

non-sense

Had a long sleep in fairness, but I am still feeling sleepless. These past few days, I am trying to remember my dreams everytime I sleep, and I got nothing in my mind. I don't understand why I'm not dreaming anymore. Was it I'm too exhausted that I couldn't remember what I dreamt about? Hah! I really don't know. If you were to ask me, yea! I fancy dreams. Any kind of dream. When I woke up, I have this moment that I shall remember what I have dreamt from my entire sleep and yea, I'm enjoying every moment of it. Do you think I'm that weird? LOL

Anyways, yea! I find it more weird now that I no longer dream everytime I sleep. I miss having kilig stuffs while dreaming, or even seeing my boyf in my dreams. I mean atleast I could see him once in a while without me visiting him.

I use to have this dream of having my man around, living in one roof and we are actually a family indeed but without a child.

Srsly, I dont rush about getting married and having tons of kids. Infact, after marrying my man I dream of living with him in a year without kids. (NOW, THIS IS NOT A DREAM FROM SLEEP. lol) Just the 2 of us, plus a maid, an old maid. LOL haha. Sorry bout that. Now I can say, I can't live without a helper or someone who can help me in everything. I mean stuffs around the house, the chores. I used to clean our entire house, I used to cook and I love to be at home. Now it's different, my job made my life different! You can't see me not holding keyboard now! Today, it's always been work, work and work! nothing but work. except for Saturday afternoon. It's going to be O n i e 's day. HAH! Speaking of which, damn! prolly, this is what made me decided to blog today. I am missing the half of my life AGAIN. Yesterday, I wanna visit him but I am in short shorts, so it's impossible for me to go there wearing that thang! TSK. Oh well, it's Thursday today, I mean Friday. So tomorrow, I could finally see him. I actually wanna take a leave later tonight. I wanna relax, feel my bed and have a goooood night sleep. But I don't have leaves anymore! LOL

Haaay, can you feel that month of July is kinda weird? I'm trying to think if its actually fast or it is too slow to reach the month end. God! I don't know what's bugging me. I'm getting goosebumbs and I'm shivering whenever I see the calendar from my celly. There's something in the month end that I don't know, makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. I'm actually fearful and excited about it. What it's gonna be? I effin don't know! I swear! I hope it's going to be a good vibe! I HOPE I HOPE! *fingers crossed*

I am still on the project am talking about. Still the figures are not steady yet. I haven't done all the phone calls, and I am freakin' nervous about the date. Speaking of date, (oh this is really out of the topic okay?) I MISS DATING. Can someone ask me out on Monday? Someone, i dont know, I really don't know if the problem is one me, or the people around me. ARG! I'm soooo weird! Now back to the project... Yea, I know this is going to be fun! I know, this will be the start of a new life, and I can say I am ready to face the next chapter of my life... So there, let me finish this post by having a hanging question...

Do you guys want to earn money on just searching the net?

LOL (super off the topic and last Q ko, hayaan nyo na! weird ako today) if yes, Wait for my next entry... I'll blog about it... I wanna try it first. Ayoko naman mapahiya hehe.

I don't wanna stop this post actually, I wanna talk and talk but fudge, i know am getting non-sense again so you better cut me here, or I would share something more weird than above... LOL LOL LOL

solar eclipse

Meanwhile, while working the IT dept were screaming "AYAN NA AYAN NA!" everyone chase to the window and saw a wonderful thing up above. One of them even went outside to take a photoshoot. and here it is:

something to blog about..

I don't have a topic in mind today. I just feel like blogging, because I miss doing it. Lately, I don't have the means of ranting or whatever. I just feel tired of waiting again. You know what I mean. I don't wanna get tired but my mind tells me how tired I am now. I know, this entry doesn't have any sense at all. But lemme just do this because I am kinda pissed to some people. I wanna let this out by writing anything.. now it's getting boring again.. why i can't disclose my feelings here now..

BOO!

Kids and Movie House = LAFTRIP

Sunday is a family day!

I got up early for I was feeling hungry. So I had breakfast with my father. While we were having a cup of coffee, I suggested to take lunch outside instead. Since Dickie's family is around, we're complete at that time. We attended mass at 10:30am, Kelly was a bit naughty then. He keeps on running with other kids in the church and in the latter part, while everyone's getting a communion, he screamed because he wants to eat as well! hahaha! What a shame! Kelly's my favorite nephnew and I just can't resist this kid. I just love love him!

After mass, Kelly said... "San Punta?" I'm like... "San mo gusto?" He screamed... "Petval Mol!" FESTIVAL MALL in his own term. hehehe. So we went there. We had lunch at Kenny Rogers and decided to watch Ice Age 3. My father was a bit hesitant to come with us at the movie house. He wont like it because it's cartoons. HAh! So my mom decided to watch Transformers with him plus Dickie's hubby.

We went inside and Kelly was like... "Ninang Damba, dilim dito. Lis na tayo." hahahahhaha! CUUUUTEE! So the 3 kids were enjoying the commercial, suddenly when the movie was about to start, I saw them sleeping and we found the peace in their faces. CUUTEE. haha! When the big dinosaurs and elephants were in the big screen, I managed to wake up Kelly. He was mezmerized with all the big animals and telling me which animal it is. At the middle of the story, his mom went at the back to stop the youngest kid from crying. Kelly went at the back too! And he made a commotion! LOL He keeps on yelling my name... "NINANG DAMBA LIS NA TAYO MAY MUMU! NINANG DAMBAAAAAA! LOL

Kelly's really funny. Before that, he wants me to buy him a transformer robot. So I said, you got you own money right? OK, you buy yourself a robot. I accompany him to the saleslady and Kelly handed 1 peso coin to the lady and said... "BUMBLE BEE PO!" LOL I super love this kid!

My long weekend was fun and I wish there's always a long weekend! :)

Looking forward to a nice weekend again! Thurday na! YES!

Something disaster yet sweet!

Ok this is a late post I know. I've been coming in the office late as always and I do got a lot of extra curricular activities during days at home. So, I failed to update my lil home here in the web.

My lil surprise for my boyf was successful then. Totee cooked abodo the night before I visit him, which by the way, I need to pay her 200 bucks. LOL. The next day, I got up really early like 7am and prepared breakfast for babe. Longganisa and reg egg with tomatoes, cooked rice, adobo for lunch and ripe mangoes for desert! YUM!

On my way to his humble home (LOL), an insect, caterpillar like, higad for tagalog, was sitting on my fabulous bag. I don't know what to do, so I shrieked the hell out of it and threw it away using 20 bucks. LOL. I was in panic mode and my heart beat was that fast! I swear, I could have jump out of the tryk because of that stupid little creature!

I am feeling a lil bit weird while I was riding the jeep then. It was itchy all over my body and godamn the traffic was horrible! What a fuckin day right? When I arrived to his place, I saw him smiling because of the big bag I brought. I handed him the stuffs and cried because of the itch I am suffering, I showed him my skin and the pantal all over my body. I got puppy eyes then while he was grinning secretly. Hahahaha! I look so funny that time I know, but what can I do? That crappy thing landed on my bag was the culprit of the whole scenario. It ruined my day I effin swear! So babe tried to cure me with vinegar and salt. After having our breakfast, he gave me antihistamine. It was like a sleeping pill for after 5 seconds I was knocked out and fell asleep. Came afternoon, babe woke me up for late lunch. I was still really sleepy but I managed to get up. Sayang naman ang araw na yun kung itutulog ko lang.

The chicken and pork adobo was heaven indeed. Babe loved it so much! KUDOS KUTOS FOR TUTEEE! :P So we ended the day by catching up--a lot of stories and cuddling. So that's my Saturday. It was disaster somehow, but turned out sweet! :)